Thomas sighed. 300 miles west to the highway... that'd put his current location in the ocean? No, no, they're still playing the part. Amazing commitment, really. Well, outward and onward, he supposed.
"Look, I promise I mean no harm to anyone- I just want to get home so I can make my meeting. And since no one here wants to buy insurance, I suppose, then I have no more business here. May I be on my way?"
Ask to leave politely.
[Appeal To Decency: 1]
No, they reply in unison. Why should they let you go? After all, the captain implied you're up to no good or some such. The guard who brought you here forgets the specifics. So even if they can't beat you to a pulp while having a big old laugh, well, they're going to have to settle for temporarily inconveniencing you. Have to assert dominance somehow, by god. So you're going to stay here, and you're going to
like it, one of the sister-guards tells you petulantly.
That being said, the three guards collect an assortment of wooden mugs and fill them up with wine, sitting down on whatever's handy (such as the savagely beaten individual who hasn't really moved much in the past minute) as they silently swill their brew. You check the basement door. It seems to be very locked. The guard who brought you here smirks. Not getting out, you hear him? Not getting out any time soon - that'll show you, you bloody spoilsport!
I still have the Turnkey's knife in my inventory. If this is some sort of quantum buggery, grab it before it disappears.
Then bang on the blacksmith's door.
"Yo blacksmith, I got you your profane thing! Just two more now."
The blacksmith pokes his head out of his house, looking highly irritated at the interruption. That lasts until you show him the stone. Profane, you mention again. You think you literally ate a person off it. Plus there have been blood sacrifices happening upon it for who knows how long.
He regards the stone with interest. Are those... bloodstains? Yes, you say! Some of them fresher than others! Yes, he exclaims! That is exactly what he needs! Exactly what... oh! Oh! Ah! Hm. You consider what that expression on his face means, and also consider asking if he's quite all right. Before you manage, however, he jerks his head to look at you. Very good, he says! Excellent start! But insufficient! On its own, he means. It's a perfectly good spot of profanity... hm, perhaps you could arrange the other two items so that- no, wait! That's precious inspiration he's got there! And he's wasting it on you! Be off! And get the other stuff! And don't bother him until you have
everything!
The blacksmith's head almost fails to disappear inside before the door slams. You hear him pace around inside for a moment. He starts banging something on the wall. His head, you suspect from the sound.
TAKE NO CHANCES! MY SLEEP SHALL NOT BE DENIED!
[Continued Heroic Rest: 4]
Such a comfy bed. It mends the heart and soothes the soul to have a little time to unwind. You relax and drift in and out of dreamless sleep, letting yourself settle into an amplified state of relaxation. You catch yourself feeling unusually good after some time. In fact, you haven't felt this good since... er, you don't rightly remember. Ever, possibly!
One thing is clear, however: anyone who knocks the Ministry of Moronic Affairs clearly hasn't acquainted themselves with the job benefits.
What? Thinks? Not said? Ok...
"Name is Leif Erikson, descendant of mighty vikings who once ruled northern seas, and occasionally ardent worshipper of Odin and other ęsir and vanir. What you mean I'm not supposed to be here? Nothing prevented me from coming, therefore I am supposed to be here. Assuming you believe in determinism.
Now it is my turn to ask questions! Are any minders here? I came to learn their secrets since basic training seemed so easy."
To prove it is easy, I recreate that granite island and the burning church in my mind. But not alcoholic fruits. Not yet.
Er, okay. If you say so. And... basic training, you say? What basic training is that? The one with the visualization thing, you remind the little guy. Oh, he says. The aptitude test. Yeah, it's, uh, pretty easy, he guesses, once you get how it works. You're a bit old to be, uh, inducted, though?
Nonsense, you say. You can conjure vivid internal worlds with the best of them. This qualifies you to learn all the secrets. All of them.
[Induced Lucidity: 2]
For instance, in your inner world there is- oh, that's not an inner world, is it?
Er, as you were thinking, your inner world contains- he doesn't see any inner world. No, er, persistent images, you know?
As you were thinking! There's this granite- no, seriously. The whole point is, uh, that you create an image, right? Many images. Like an, er, room or something? Then you don't think about it for a while. And then at any given moment you, uh, recall it? No, that's not the right word. You don't recall it. It's just
still there, even if you don't think about it.
He can show you his if you want. He hasn't really, er, been there lately. The snakes might need checking up on, now that he, uh, thinks about it.
"I choose grown, explosive." After the well is done I step out of the door.
"Maybe I should have asked it about you," I say to the girl once I'm out. "I didn't learn as much as I hoped. The minders' summoning spell is complicated and has several different parts, which might be why my mind doesn't appear normal. I didn't understand a lot of the terms the well used, but it mentioned the 'source' again and I'm reasonably sure it means you. Giving you to it sounds dangerous, so I suppose I need to find another 'connection' if I want to ask it something else. But I've got to try this out first... watch out."
I walk over to the pile of bricks and test out my new weapon on them.
The weapon is yours. As it snakes into your right arm, the limb falls asleep slowly from the tips of your fingers to your shoulder. A few moments pass as feeling is regained. Knowing the transaction to be complete you step back out again, the door giving way.
Thank you. Come again.
That done, you turn to the girl and explain the situation as she stares blankly at you, surprised at your emergence. She nods slowly as you tell her all about your strange experience inside, looking increasingly bewildered as you delve into the well's preferred terms. All right, that's all fine and good, she tells you. But why are you telling her this? And who are you, anyway? And what's wrong with this bloody well? It doesn't want to let her in for some reason! She's a perfectly good minder. Maybe not as good as the hidden, granted, but certainly good enough! She can float! Show her another minder within a hundred miles who can do that at the moment and she'll show you a filthy liar.
[Best Weapons Testing Practices: 6]
You let her have her rant. You've got a weapon to test, after all. You perform a flourish with your hand, an electrifying feeling going through your bones as you feel something swell in your palm. Examination reveals a smooth, baseball-sized cyst covered in skin, soft to the touch, easily plucked off from your hand. It wriggles dangerously as you hold it, at which point you decide to lob it at the nearby pile of inscribed bricks. As the bulb flies in a smooth arc, the idea that perhaps testing explosive weaponry in an enclosed space is distinctly unwise occurs to you.
[Foresighted Dodge: 4]
You duck and cover as the pile of bricks becomes an ornery cloud of shrapnel with a deafening boom - most of it misses you. A few errant shards tear up your dress lightly. The minder girl looks at the source of the explosion in puzzlement, holding a torn-off piece of her earlobe. Maybe coming here was an incredibly terrible idea, you get from her expression. Was that you, she asks. Don't do that again, whatever it was, she says immediately afterward, not bothering to hear your answer. She turns to the well door, methodically knocking on it in several places. This seems to produce little information.
Eric Codeburn, COMPUTISTICS SPECIALIST
- Naked
- A Word: SUN
- A Word: MOON
- Anglefork Castle: Minister of Moronic Affairs
- The Impromptu Prophecy: Child of the Sun and Moon
- Adherents of the Great House: Enemy of Memory
- Well and Truly Narked Upon: 1
- Friends in Low Places: a Successful Transaction
- Subordinate Shining Stone (guarding, 2 tons)
- Army of the New State: 600 Stoatmen
- Army of the New State: !!!!
- The Good Doctor: the Solitary Candidate
Leif Erikson, Miner
- Reappropriated, Clean Skirt
- 1 gp
- Anglefork Castle: A Free Man
- The Box: an Amicable Parting
- Tower of the Mind: Number Two
- Induced Lucidity: Another Attempt
- The Prison Stone
- Elongated Affairs: A Noble Task
- Elongated Affairs: The Numbers of the Stoat
Eileen Minett, Vinyl Collector
- A Word: HUNGER
- A Weapon: Explosive Cysts
- Queenly Garments: the Humble Dress (damaged)
- Sticks: 0.95 (total)
- Rat Pantheon: Disliked
- Traces of Mischief: Mouthful of Blackness
- The New Queen: ?
- Origins: Witness to Dissolution
- Tower of the Mind: There's Something To Remember
- Gross Incandescence: Highly Illuminated
- Inscribed Brick ('Water')
- The Voracious Dark: Two Connections Given
- Body Count: 1
- Army of the New State: !!!!
Jack Daniels, Karate Man
- Wounds: 1
- Voluntarily Naked
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: the Sword of Destiny
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Priceless?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: Something Purple?
- The Winding Path of Inspiration: A Profane Megalith
- Doomstones: Efficient Conclusion
- A Place In History: Emergent Abomination
- Anglefork Castle: the Great Serpent
- 2 rats, crushed
- 1 rat, strangled
- 1 rat, live
- Gross Incandescence: Unilluminated
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Sunday ± 2 Days
- The Impromptu Prophecy: Sol In Absentia
- Body Count: 1
Thomas Minstep, Insurance Agent
- Anglefork Castle: Deluded Resident
- Traces of Mischief: Sandy Groin
- Gross Incandescence: Partly Illuminated
- Tight Leather Pants
- Travels In The Fourth Dimension: Friday, July 23rd, 409 S.D.
- The Majordomo: Happy to Help
- The Queen's Guard: A Frustrated Impasse