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Author Topic: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD  (Read 30600 times)

crazyabe

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #45 on: October 20, 2015, 05:19:04 pm »


"This should help the kingdom economy, no matter what the alchemist may argue..."
I will use "Summon Lawyer " on that "Alchemist" And sue him/her for all they have in the name of the kingdom.
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #46 on: October 20, 2015, 08:29:33 pm »

Hmm.  Things might be just a little worse than he thought, Sage Pzchun noted.

Hire some hedge wizards out of my own pocket (the investment will be recouped later) to increase farmers' yields.  Then, greatly increase food exports while enacting a mild export tax.

Use some of the profits towards outfitting the military.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 10:12:58 pm by Nunzillor »
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crazyabe

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #47 on: October 20, 2015, 08:34:07 pm »

Hmm.  Things might be just a little worse than he thought, Sage Pzchun noted.

Hire some hedge wizards out of my own pocket (the investment will be recouped later) to increase farmers' yields.  Then, greatly increase food exports while enacting a mild export tax.
Are you gathering for magic without my approval?

I Check over the strength of the mages that S.H.P is hiring, and "Remove" what fakes I spot without his approval
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 08:36:22 pm by crazyabe »
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #48 on: October 20, 2015, 08:37:18 pm »

(the investment will be recouped later)
((You'd be lucky to get a shilling with my character around. Muahahahaha...))
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #49 on: October 20, 2015, 08:42:42 pm »

Hmm.  Things might be just a little worse than he thought, Sage Pzchun noted.

Hire some hedge wizards out of my own pocket (the investment will be recouped later) to increase farmers' yields.  Then, greatly increase food exports while enacting a mild export tax.
Are you gathering for magic without my approval?

I Check over the strength of the mages that S.H.P is hiring, and "Remove" the fakes
"Such a pleasure to see you, Zech!  Have you had a mannafruit today?  I find that all my questions fade away after a delicious few mannafruits.  Did you know they cause eternal youth?" Holtze pauses for several seconds, painfruit outheld, until he's sure Zech isn't taking the bait.

"Well, never mind that, then.  To answer your question, I would never dream of infringing on your duties.  That's why I'm hiring several mages using purely personal funds for my own ends, which incidentally may help the kingdom.  I would certainly appreciate any help you could provide on the matter, though."

((@Coolrune: you fiend!  You would never disrupt the vital mannafruit trade... would you?))
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 11:18:30 pm by Nunzillor »
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crazyabe

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #50 on: October 20, 2015, 08:46:43 pm »

Next time, Contact me first, You could have hired Charlatans who would have you till the fields with salt, and claimed it worked to strengthen the crops!
And yes I know That Your "Mana Fruit" is fake
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #51 on: October 20, 2015, 08:47:06 pm »

((For more gold in my coffers? I'd kill the king. Which I will do eventually.))
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Nunzillor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #52 on: October 20, 2015, 09:14:03 pm »

Next time, Contact me first, You could have hired Charlatans who would have you till the fields with salt, and claimed it worked to strengthen the crops!
And yes I know That Your "Mana Fruit" is fake
"Charlatans?  I cannot abide charlatans!  I will certainly consult you next time, sir mage.  But I must object to your baseless slander against the king's favorite fruit.  The only thing "fake" about mannafruit is the claim that it increases one's lifespan by 200 percent.  The actual figure is closer to 1000 percent, of course."

((Hmm, somehow I am not surprised given your character's description...))
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 10:22:41 pm by Nunzillor »
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #53 on: October 20, 2015, 09:22:58 pm »

Our nation faces threats both physical and spiritual and we must be prepared. Try to drive military recruitment with religious fervor.
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Hiddenleafguy

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #54 on: October 20, 2015, 11:06:35 pm »

Can I be put on the waitlist, I have a character in mind, who will probably attempt to stifle the painfruit importation, through fire and poison, or maybe by whispering lies into the kings ears.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #55 on: October 20, 2015, 11:42:24 pm »

Hire a steadfast group of adventurers to find the famed Crystal Vial of Tax Exemption or whatever it is. Promise riches to the recoverer.
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High tyrol

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #56 on: October 21, 2015, 02:06:20 am »

Ptw
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Nirur Torir

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #57 on: October 22, 2015, 05:29:32 pm »

It is now fall, and the busy peasants can be seen harvesting their fields.

Darius cons peasants into joining the military.
{1} - Darius sets up recruitment in the nearby town of Pleasantville. Several half-starved looking peasants actually take him up, despite his barrel-scraping recruitment bonus. He empties the palace armory to equip them, mostly with an assortment of old iron arms and leather armor.

As he does not having the funds to actually feed two-score peasants, they all take the equipment and desert, turning to banditry.

Sir Biscuits hunts down that stray dog.
{1} - Weeellll. The stray dog is really a metaphor, see. When the knight hunts it down, he ends up slaying a bear cub instead. The bear-mom is not amused. {4}+1 vs {1}+3 - He slays the murderous beast with nary a scratch. The men are heartened by the tale, and the king appreciates his new rug.

Locke continues arguing with the king. ((Repetitive tasks take penalties.))
{5}-1 - After several well made arguments, the king has begun to slightly change his views.

Zechtenmarkus sues the fake alchemist. vets the con man PC's hedge wizards for con men.
{5} - See below.

Sage Holtze hires some hedge wizards out of his own pocket.
{6} - Holtze manages to round up virtually every hedge wizard in the kingdom. Many are surprisingly talented - made clear now that money is on the line.

Roughly one-in-five had no magical talent, and promptly exiled. Of the remaining 52, three are especially talented - One in pyromancy, one in body magic, and one in necromancy. Priestess Imeremifava investigates the latter. She is cursed to occasionally hears whispers from the gods of the Cult of Shadows, but, as yet, helds onto her morality.

Holtze has spent nearly all of his wealth hiring them for a year.

Asha uses Religious Ferver on Lack of Manpower.
{5} - Asha gives sermons throughout the kingdom. She manages to recruit a good quantity of worthy men, and gets enough donations to feed them for the next six months ((two turns)). Unfortunately, none of this food made it in time to stop Darius' recruits from falling to banditry.

Mangrove uses money to hire adventurers for a quest to recover the money generating artifact.
{1} - A large band of adventurers, the only capable-looking group interested in the quest, took a sizable up-front fee. They have not returned, and are obviously all dead. Hopefully they didn't make a super-druid angry at the kingdom!


King Roland make a private announcement.
"Ah, my friends. It is good to see that my kingdom is doing so well! Jester John's tales, outlandish as they are, have gotten me to thinking. Serfs and peasants are kinda worth more than most other goods, since they create new goods. They can even be made to take goods from others, or - Ooh, they even make more of themselves! So, I've been thinking we'll try something different.

If we let them take enough food that they're not hungry, and don't stab them, they might produce more goods! Maybe different, more interesting goods!

The king picks up a piece of fruit from a nearby table. Hmm. Like mannafruit wine! Does it come in wine? Someone get the wineryfolk to try that. Now, let's eat! Immortality awaits!" The king takes a large bite, and bursts into tears of pain.

Taxes reduced, and are now moderate.
The kingdom economy is stable.
The military grows.
A group of bandits is operating near the capital.

The local economy is struggling.
The kingdom economy is struggling.

The local levies are limited and are barely unafraid of stray dogs.
The kingdom levies are moderate and of poor quality.

The king wants painwine and no more invigorating peasant stabbings.


John Locke (nosaneinme), the palace fool, has had a minor victory for liberalism.

Sir "Biscuits" McGee (NJW2000), knight of the crown and head of military finance, is currently bragging about easily slaying a bear.

Sir Mangrove (Harry Baldman), the Secretary of Love, Worldliness and Quests, is currently worried about angry druids.

Sage Holtze Pzchun (Nunzillor), Import/Export Economic Adviser, is currently trying not to look like he's not eating a painfruit.

Asha Imeremifava (penguinofhonor), Priestess and Religious Adviser, is currently leading a band of troops back to the castle.

Darius Welthon (Coolrune206), Economic Adviser, is contemplating bandits.

Classified (ATHATH), assassin, is currently annoying the GM.

Zechtenmarkus (crazyabe), Royal Mage and Adviser of magical Affairs, is 'enjoying' conversations with a handful of redneck hedge mages.


Quote from: Hiddenleafguy
Can I be put on the waitlist, I have a character in mind, who will probably attempt to stifle the painfruit importation, through fire and poison, or maybe by whispering lies into the kings ears.
((ATHATH hasn't done anything. If this continues, he's gone at the end of this round. If you get a sheet and an action up, and he doesn't respond, then you may have an action this turn.))
« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 05:46:20 pm by Nirur Torir »
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Coolrune206

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #58 on: October 22, 2015, 05:35:17 pm »

Recruit more peasants into the ranks of the military to kill the bandits. Give them equipment from local stores, conning the business owners into giving us an "Arm's tax, every fifth weapon produced goes to the kingdom".

"You know King, I thought you were incompetent. But that's a splendid idea! Of course, I assume that these additional funds for the peasants are coming from your own pocket, as the royal treasury is in no state to give out supplies for free.

Oh, and sorry about those bandits.
"
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ATHATH

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Re: Advisers to an Incompetent King RTD
« Reply #59 on: October 22, 2015, 05:36:38 pm »

"Oh, for- I told you-" Classified counts in his head for a moment, "thirty-seven times that mannafruits are poisonous! "

Classified returns from fetching the king some "cool stuff", administers the antidote to the king, puts the king back on his no-mannafruit diet, and checks out the stuff he brought back.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 06:41:14 pm by ATHATH »
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping
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