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[Parisbre56]

Complain that this zombie is moving too slowly. Insult it in order to get it to kill faster.

[Nunzillor]

((When are contestants allowed to access the vending machine?))

[wipeout1024]

Start singing "La Cucaracha".

[wipeout1024]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Honora Martinez
Description: A hispanic woman in her 60s, with gray hair in a bob, and wearing a blouse, jeans, and flats.
Reason for signing up/desire: She decided if she was going to die, she would go out with a bang.
Greatest fear: Being forgotten by family.
Stats: (20 points to allocate. 5 Points in a stat gives a 1/3 chance of +1. 10 gives 2/3, etc.)
Strength:1
Dexterity:3
Endurance:1
Speed:1
Intelligence:5
Luck:1
Will:5
Perception:3

[Parisbre56]

((When are contestants allowed to access the vending machine?))

When the episode ends. Which should be right after this round. Unless NJW2000 has changed the rules.

[NJW2000]

PM

A two-foot long shining metal spike flies out of Janeway's shackle as Xan trundles towards her, impaling his face to the extent that it is entirely into the rolls of fat cresting his shoulders, then retracting. He moans in pain, momentarily forgetting her, as odd whirrs and clicks emanate from his innards.

[NAV]

"Could someone please help me out of the straightjacket?"

Try to get out of the straightjacket. Hopefully a teammate helps me here.

[Nunzillor]

"Could someone please help me out of the straightjacket?"

Try to get out of the straightjacket. Hopefully a teammate helps me here.

"Freedom wards off the reptilian influence."
Help him out of it.

[Egan_BW]

Now, while it's distracted, Deliver a running jump kick and knock it into the pit!
If successful, make WWE poses and scream my name out loud.

[NJW2000]

"Could someone please help me out of the straightjacket?"

Try to get out of the straightjacket. Hopefully a teammate helps me here.

"Freedom wards off the reptilian influence."
Help him out of it.

A tired-looking orderly releases you from the straitjacket after extracting from you a promise not to try and murder someone offcamera again.

Now, while it's distracted, Deliver a running jump kick and knock it into the pit!
If successful, make WWE poses and scream my name out loud.

Janeway darts towards Xan, launching herself into the air, while at the last moment, every muscle in his blubber-coated body appears to extend simultaneously, boneless flab-lubricated tissues easily rearranging themselves in preparation for a sickening upwards jolt. The two collide in midair, Janeway's kick sending the unliving fleshmonster over the side of the pit, though it manages to grab the edge at the last second and begin squirming back out, while she falls to the ground, winded.

[Egan_BW]

"OH NO YOU DON'T."
Take up a firing position while prone. Give the part that's hanging on the Bird.

[NAV]

"I didn't try to murder her, she's the one who tried to murder me! I was just defending myself. Hey what do even you mean off camera, aren't we on hidden camera all the time? And if we aren't then we should be cause audience is missing some pretty good fights and drama."

[Gentlefish]

Hurl one (full) bottle of beer at fatman. While shouting insults. Two beer left.

[Nunzillor]

Make a sling out of the straitjacket.  The tools of the evil lizardocracy can sometimes be used for the forces of good.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Zack Bridges
Description: A worn, older man wearing ill-fitting rags and a beat up leather cap.  He rarely speaks, but when he does he makes little to no sense.
Reason for signing up/desire: Wants to "uncover the lizardmen conspiracy for all the sheeple to finally see."
Greatest fear: The number 13
Strength: 1
Dexterity: 15
Endurance: 1
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 0
Luck: 0
Will: 1
Perception: 1

[NJW2000]

Make a sling out of the straitjacket.  The tools of the evil lizardocracy can sometimes be used for the forces of good.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Zack Bridges
Description: A worn, older man wearing ill-fitting rags and a beat up leather cap.  He rarely speaks, but when he does he makes little to no sense.
Reason for signing up/desire: Wants to "uncover the lizardmen conspiracy for all the sheeple to finally see."
Greatest fear: The number 13
Strength: 1
Dexterity: 15
Endurance: 1
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 0
Luck: 0
Will: 1
Perception: 1

Int[0,3]Dex[4,3]

Due to the evil machinations of the lizardmen, and not at all their incompetent fumbling and sloppy craftsmenship, around twenty percent of the straitjacket resembles a sling. Navarro is wearing the rest.

Hurl one (full) bottle of beer at fatman. While shouting insults. Two beer left.

"OH NO YOU DON'T."
Take up a firing position while prone. Give the part that's hanging on the Bird.

Xan surges up partially out of the pit, piggy undead eyes failing to notice the trailing and eviscerated sheet of flab left in there, as his bloodied lower bodyweight drags him back in. Janeway fires the same shackle combination true and straight, completely transfixing her opponent's head and brain, then cruelly slamming the once-again lifeless body into the wall of the pit as the spike retreats, and the floor is drenched in blood as Xan plummets from view. A spinning Deadman Beer Bottle smashes into twinkling fragments beside an emotionally exhausted Janeway, and an unhealthy squelching thud is heard some time later.

"Well, wasn't that fantastic, ladies and gents? Finally, a good show from the blue team! We were all behind you there, Janeway, every last one! And that's a well-deserved 7 points!" We'll conclude this wonderful episode after the break!"


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((Ok, next turn will be... in a bit... It'd be a long one, and I don't have much energy or time right away due to common assessments, so there may be a few more days of relative radio silence))