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Author Topic: Intoxicated: Insane Clown Nuclear Tech  (Read 80402 times)

Toaster

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"How could you enjoy this? It's horrible! If you must see destruction, do it with mindless drones, not with sapient beings!"

Sapient, mindless, they'll all be dead soon with naught accomplished!  It heightens the experience that they think they matter!  A laugh.  Enjoy watching them struggle.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

crazyabe

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((Nah, screw it, forget the previous action, let's ally with the Hula doll and do something fun.))

"This is unexpected... Hmm. I PLEDGE MYSELF TO LATIFA THE VIBRANT AND ALL HER BOOTY SHAKING GLORY!"
@renegadelobster: "Unexpected indeed! This is extreme, sort of metal, is it not? And III'm feeeling awesome! And you girl look the metalest of them all! Wanna work together? I can juice people up with my awesome. And you look like a woman who can't get enough of my awesome."

Pledge myself to Toaster for fun! And with the Hula doll's consent, juice her up and go sky high! Try not to kill her with my help, if possible.
"Toaster only wishes to destroy. I, however, could aid you in the role your pill has assigned to you."

Glug Burble sperrt Klunk slop sloppp!! SPOLLT
Translation:Join me as a follower, the god of Syringes, Because I Want You! Join now so you have a chance at survival!
Crazicus wonders if he could get a follower...
Turn this guy off, then turn him on again.
Crazicus has become a rather large erection
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

Toaster

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Watch where you point that thing!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Parisbre56

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((I just realised we're missing a very important item: There are no electric guitars in the junk pile!))

Toaster

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((There used to be an acoustic, till I picked it up.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

piecewise

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((Alright, let's get this started! I'm not trying to hide my intention with this one so here it is in the open.))
I assume my pill taken by default.

V'arro recognizes the place - or rather the situation: Lor the Mechanical showed it to him in one of his last visions. Explained it. He knows how things work here.

Run across the top of the nose hill and spartan-kick HMC-042 [Egan] off the nose!
Take the pill and pledge myself to crystis (endlessblaze).
Join in Comrade's assault and push HMC-042 off the nose. Or Comrade himself if he succeeds in his action. Either way, someone is gonna fall.


Professor Tsonnovski takes an awe inspiring pose and shouts "Math is beautiful!"
HMC 042 Looks to V'arro and the Professor and lets out a scream of static.
"I know you! Why must you be so obvious in movement? Your every step is laid bare!"

JUDO! Put thier momentum to work against one another! Hopefully get a bonus from my power!
Pledge to Tolas!

[Aoshi god roll:4] Your god grants you a magical crystal sword! It is razor sharp but will never cut you and will never break!
[Egan god roll:2] You don't get anything.

1 and 5 vs 5

V'arro charges across the nose and attempts to do a flying kick into HMC. However, he completely misjudges the distance (and his own abilities) and ends up doing little more then hurl himself off the nose. [1] He falls head first off schnoz mountain and lands somewhere far below, next to the right nostril, breaking his neck.

V'ARRO IS DEAD! NO PILLS FOR ANYONE BECAUSE IT WAS HIS OWN DAMN FAULT.

As V'arro goes sailing off to his doom, Prof. Tso attacks HMC, attempting to cleave the man in half. HMC, moving with grace that you'd never expect out of a man with a bit of consumer electronics for a brain, dodges through the blows. The two engage in a battle which is so stunning and beautiful that it surely must have been choreographed before hand and made use of gratuitous CGI and Wire rigs.  Unfortunately neither one can land a hit on the other.



A'right. Time to clobber some knuckle'eads.

Take pill. Clobber the nearest knucklehead AND PLEDGE SELF TO HAMMERER COMBINE YOUR DAMN POSTS.
Action PM'd
Dut god roll: 4
Mike gains a large steel mace which is effortlessly light for him, but unimaginably heavy for anyone else, both when they try to wield it and when they are hit by it.

5 vs 2
Raymond raises his hands into the air with a shout of "MAAAAGGOTS!" but then nothing happens. Hmm. Mike, on the other hand, goes for the much more reliable method of charging in and cracking him upside the head with his goddamn mace. [1]

Raymond's head ceases to exist, along with his middle, is lower bits and most of the fleshy ground he's standing on. All thats left is a bloody crater and a very happy golem. If only that mace had a horse shoe on it, everything would be wonderfully symmetrical.

PILL FOR THE GOLEM!


Do PM thing. Also pledge to Achernereran if they agree to it.

[God roll: 4] You gain the ability to find things that might not normally be able to be found. Things that defy logic and reason in their being somewhere. Maybe there's a handgun behind your ear?


[3]
You drag the emerald across the ground and it grows a knee high circle of crystal around you. Hmm. Not exactly what you wanted.



Wiggle wiggle. PM sent. Pledge self to god. Try to not die from Paris' help.

"This is unexpected... Hmm. I PLEDGE MYSELF TO LATIFA THE VIBRANT AND ALL HER BOOTY SHAKING GLORY!"
((Nah, screw it, forget the previous action, let's ally with the Hula doll and do something fun.))

"This is unexpected... Hmm. I PLEDGE MYSELF TO LATIFA THE VIBRANT AND ALL HER BOOTY SHAKING GLORY!"
@renegadelobster: "Unexpected indeed! This is extreme, sort of metal, is it not? And III'm feeeling awesome! And you girl look the metalest of them all! Wanna work together? I can juice people up with my awesome. And you look like a woman who can't get enough of my awesome."

Pledge myself to Toaster for fun! And with the Hula doll's consent, juice her up and go sky high! Try not to kill her with my help, if possible.

Ren god roll: 4, Paris god roll:1

John has gained Latifa's blessing! The faster and harder he wiggles, the more difficult to damage he is! Booty shake to invincibility!

Paris Pledges himself to the God of personal amusement. In return, he gets a hand grenade. A hand grenade with the pin already pulled.

[Paris 5, ren 4, Vs aoshi 6, Egan 2, Beirus 2, Dut immune]

Paris points at John and screams "UNLIMITED POWER!" John's electrical discharge suddenly intensifies several fold and arcs of electricity lash out at everyone on the nose! Paris stands around, raising his arms to the sky and laughing as electricity flows around and over him, but does no damage.  Prof. Tso leaps back away from the electrical conflagration and ends up rolling all the way down the bridge of the nose.  HMC and Jase both catch bolts straight to the chest. [2] HMC's electronic brain fries and he drops dead. [4] Jase Gets a burn on his chest and is left twitching on the ground, but survives. Mike gets hit by lightning several times but doesn't seem to care, being made of stone and all.

A pill to...Hmm...I guess it would be Ren, since it's technically his empowered lightning that did the damage.





THREE DEAD ON THE FIRST TURN!  WE'VE GOT A REAL MATCH HERE!


New map:

Comrade P.

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #516 on: October 10, 2015, 12:19:38 pm »

((Huh. That was quick.))

*Lor returns to spectate*

- Now that fight was worth wasting a cultist! Hey Professor [Aoshima]! Deny your god, I'll do my best to provide you with my own blessings! What good is a blade when your moves can betray you and make you sloppy and miserable? Paris? Want something less harmful to you and more so to others? You know what to do!
« Last Edit: October 10, 2015, 12:31:25 pm by Comrade P. »
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

crazyabe

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #517 on: October 10, 2015, 12:23:03 pm »

Join me if you want to live
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nothing here.

AoshimaMichio

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #518 on: October 10, 2015, 12:36:53 pm »

Professor Tsonnovski poses victoriously.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Can't touch this! Praise Crystis! Call me backwards! Take two! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Run back up and note how Beirus is too tall. Make him shorter by height of his head.
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I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
Old sigs.
Games.

crazyabe

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #519 on: October 10, 2015, 12:38:21 pm »

Just Join me... Not like things could get much worse than me...
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #520 on: October 10, 2015, 12:43:38 pm »

Ira-Erazmin emerges from the shadows, slow-clapping in an attempt at dramatic effect.

"Well done, well done. Three pathetic wastes of carbon down, five to go. If anyone wishes to postpone their inevitable death, I'm accepting pledges."
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Radio Controlled

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #521 on: October 10, 2015, 12:44:48 pm »

((If the follower of a god got a kill, then said god could do something, right? If yes, what exactly, arena change or another blessing or what?))
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Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

AoshimaMichio

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #522 on: October 10, 2015, 12:47:43 pm »

((If the follower of a god got a kill, then said god could do something, right? If yes, what exactly, arena change or another blessing or what?))

((Change arena in minor ways, create things matching your spheres of influence. I don't think another blessing is among what god can do.))
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I told you to test with colors! But nooo, you just had to go clone mega-Satan or whatever.
Old sigs.
Games.

crazyabe

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #523 on: October 10, 2015, 12:49:49 pm »

((If I had a Follower, Things would get fun quick))
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Quote from: MonkeyMarkMario, 2023
“Don’t quote me.”
nothing here.

NJW2000

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Re: Intoxicated: Turn 1, three people dead.
« Reply #524 on: October 10, 2015, 12:52:50 pm »

"Enough with the obsessive self-promotion, banal mereling! Feel my wrath!"

A tightly wound ball of planal rupture smashes into the spot two metres to the left of Crazacus, systematically ripping the meanings and existences of the air molecules it hits to shreds before rendering them down to singularities and efficiently warping them and itself to the nearest hell dimension.

"Blasted targeting systems on those ontological blasters, man at the counter said they were only a few days past their sell-by, bastard said he couldn't give me a warranty because his printer was broken, how was I to know the advanced magic weaponry was decades old, completely out of date, bloody crooks."

"Oh, and by the way, mortals, you might want to try pledging yourself to me... how do you think you're going to win when vastly outarmed and armoured? Through your opponent's equipment failure, that's how, you think other gods'll do anything for someone who isn't the winner? Switch sides in a second, they would!"
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One wheel short of a wagon
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