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[IronyOwl]

((Haha oh wow. This is... basically exactly how this would have gone were this a movie.))


Vissilik's eyes dart around at the situation for a brief moment before speaking. "...I meant to do that! Somewhat! The ship is yours, good luck with it!"

He bustles past the captain to retrieve his sword, hoping the onlookers are still shocked into inactivity.

"Fine dueling! Quite the genius under his time you studied under indeed!" he continues, trying to buy time as he wrenches his sword free and bustles back past the captain.

"In fact, we should probably announce it!" He singles out whatever looks most like the comm system and activates it.

"Attention crew of this vessel! Your captain has just defeated I, Vissilik, a genius beyond his time, in a grand duel! You should applaud his courage and guile!" He pauses a moment to allow the biological components of the ship to do just that. "He is now the uncontested ruler of this vessel, in all its glory as it careens into another and much larger vessel! Congratulations!"

Message honorably sent, he scoops up Gordion, hoping to repair the poor drone with unspeakable human parts normal drone repairing things at a later time.

"I salute you, oh bearer of The Hat! May I come into possession of a hat so fancy at a later date, preferably for an asset careening into something softer and less flammable! Adieu!" he finishes, saluting the captain with his sword, grabbing his Nazi, and scurrying out the door.

Distract with civility, formally meet duel obligations, gather up possessions, and scurry out to look for a hangar.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

((Fire off your poison money hat!!)

[IronyOwl]

((I thought of that, but its likelihood of working on a given target is basically inversely proportional to how much I want it to. Fat aristocrat with dangerous lasers probably doesn't need money, malleable Nazi accessory might.

That said, if I ever have to Zoidberg it out of someplace I'm likely to begin spewing poison money as I do so. Not because it'll be useful, just because it'll add to the ridiculousness.))

[Digital Hellhound]

@Irony: Does the poor, terrorized crewman you took with you from the dining hall count as a possession? Anyway, I admire your guts - a less Heroic person might've just slipped away in the chaos and avoided the risk of being skewered by an enraged Nazi.

[IronyOwl]

@Irony: Does the poor, terrorized crewman you took with you from the dining hall count as a possession? Anyway, I admire your guts - a less Heroic person might've just slipped away in the chaos and avoided the risk of being skewered by an enraged Nazi.

Obviously!

And yes, they might- but then, they probably wouldn't be in the ship's bridge, having sundered the engine controls by throwing their only weapon during a duel for possession of the ship in the first place!

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

((I've just realised you're actually doing really well at doing your mission objectives, I mean, you totally crippled an entire airship.))

[Ruludos]

((I've just realised you're actually doing really well at doing your mission objectives, I mean, you totally crippled an entire airship.))

((I was feeling all smug and full of myself for holding the highest Nazi killcount, but it seems that Vissilik is about to kill everything on the ship.))

"Hey, y'all, just wanna say ah'm sorry about that mess earlier." London sheepishly rubs the back of her head. "The drugs didn't come with a label," she finishes pathetically.

Follow any teammate that decides to leave Security. Don't want to get split up again! Also pocket one of those pistols, just in case.

[Digital Hellhound]

Crit, Speaks, Evil Roy, London

Crit waves and beeps at his friends. His screen shows a caduceus because he is ready to heal!
Go apply first aid at Evil roy's general direction.
Also grab a nazi gun from a surrendered nazi and cover it in glue like my sword. Do this in front of him.

Let's see if we can lock down those extra Nazis from getting to us.

Evil Roy accepts the first aid with grace, though he keeps a vision-related organ out for any approaching danger.

Follow any teammate that decides to leave Security. Don't want to get split up again! Also pocket one of those pistols, just in case.

The Security team gets to work. [4] The robot begins wrapping up Evil Roy's shapeless shape with bandages and gauze. It administers painkillers... somewhere. It pours some sort of burning ointment over Evil Roy's wounds. After some trial-and-error and a good while, Crit is done, and Evil Roy feels considerably better.

Evil Roy: +8 HP

Satisfied, Crit picks up the surrendered Nazi's weapon and takes out its trusty glue. Making sure their captive is watching, Crit begins pouring the glue all over the evil Nazified parts of the weapon. This unusual psychological warfare tactic is wasted on the already demoralized Nazi, [4] but at least the glue doesn't ruin the weapon. It now has clumps of glue covering it, though, so like the sword, it's not winning any beauty contests.

Speaks has more urgent work to tend to. He looks over the main console with its myriad buttons and options [2+1=3] and begins randomly bashing buttons in the hopes it'll get him somewhere he'll want. After a while of frustrating beeps and no progress, the Nazi dares speak up. 'Err... perhaps I could help, mein Herr?'

Evil Roy acts as a watchman all the while, but no trouble appears to be here yet. London sticks to him with a new boxy Luger in her hand, apologizing for her behavior earlier. The pained corpse at their feet seems to twitch sympathetically.

The ship seems to be moving rather erratically. The team grabs onto supports as the floor tilts to the left slightly.

---

Spoiler: Speaks (click to show/hide)

Status: Gnarly.
HP: 22/30
Possessions:
-Tooth Gun [Damage 3/Precise, Special Ammo/Teeth]
-The Terrorporter [Terror Port]
-Dazzle Suit (Variant IX) [Unuseable.]
-0 Fabricator Tokens
Traits: None

Spoiler: Evil Roy (click to show/hide)

Status: Evil. Purplish?
HP: 23/30
Possessions:
-'Reaver' Powered Crossbow [Damage 4/Close-Ranged I, Stunning +1, Special Ammo/Sadistic, Mind-Altering]
-Ursus Amplifier Sword [Damage 5/Amplifier/Bear, Intensify]
-Maelocht's Gloves [Soulgnawer]
-0 Fabricator Tokens
Traits: None

Spoiler: London Tanner (click to show/hide)

Status: Rattled.
HP: 23/25
Possessions:
-Grímnir's Hold [Damage 6/Unwieldy I, Ancient Wards/Containment]
-Luger PP12 Plasma Pistol [Damage 3/Disrupting I/Nazi]
-Kodion Thermal Shield [DR: -2/Shield Use: 3/Fire Barrier/Fire]
+Nazi First Aid Materials (2)
+Nazi Experiment Logs
-0 Fabricator Tokens
Traits: None

Spoiler: Crit (click to show/hide)

Status: Obsolete.
HP: 20/30
Possessions:
-Dress Sword [Damage 3/Nazi]
-MPL-188 [Damage 4/Close-Ranged I, Volatile/Nazi]
+Nazi First Aid Materials (2)
+Mega Seeds
+SGP Glue
+Last Resort Explosive Digger
+0 Fabricator Tokens
Traits: None

Vissilik

Distract with civility, formally meet duel obligations, gather up possessions, and scurry out to look for a hangar.

On the bridge, the last member of their team takes a moment to survey the situation. The crew appears to be momentarily stunned, as is his opponent, while the ship is evidently approaching its larger companion with increasing speed. Vissilik decides a withdrawal is in order, preferably rapidly. He heads for his discarded weapon.

[3] '...I meant to do that! Somewhat! The ship is yours, good luck with it!' Vissilik offers as he passes the Captain, who is staring at the wrecked thruster controls in confusion and bloodloss. The alien's words, unfortunately, are enough to jolt him out of his stupor.

The Captain screams, eyes wide, frothing, and [5+1=6] charges after Vissilik. The alien has a second to realize his civility has not worked before [Dodge:6-1=5] the Nazi's manic thrust comes for his skull and misses it by an inch. Vissilik rolls clear, rushing for his own weapon.

[4] He reaches the crackling control station. He puts all available arms around the hilt of the sword. He pulls. He pulls like his life depended on it, because it sorta does. The sword is embedded deep, but he feels it move, and he puts all his strength-

[3+1=4] [Dodge:6-1-1=5] The screaming Captain brings his sword down on the controls, driving another deep wound into the machine and ensuring it is undoubtedly beyond repair. At the same moment, Vissilik pulls out Greyfang.

[1] He contemplates using the comm system to send a message, but it rather looks like calming the Captain is beyond his abilities right now. The crew is running around, appearing to be attempting to regain control of the ship. Someone shouts to the Captain that they need his authority, but the fat aristocrat is too enraged to hear.

'Mmmmmyyyyy.... ssshhiiiiiiiiiiip!' he hisses with grit teeth, his eyes wide and manic and his face pale from the continued blood loss. His legs shudder as he steps towards Vissilik once more, and the latter moves to put several bridge terminals between them.

Vissilik does not let his brutishness come in the way of his civility. 'I salute you, oh bearer of The Hat! May I come into possession of a hat so fancy at a later date, preferably for an asset careening into something softer and less flammable! Adieu!'

Heading for Gordion next, he leaps over a navigations terminal currently being occupied by several panicking crewmen and [1] is redirected in midair as the ship lurches to the side again, slamming into a side wall with a painful crack. Nothing seems to break, but by the time he gets back up, the Captain is on him once more. [2+1=3] [Dodge:3-1=2] There's no way to avoid the man this time. He smashes into Vissilik with all his bulk, [Damage:5] and something definitely breaks. [1+1=2] Vissilik has no time to strike back. He pushes the fat man off him and rushes off, scuttling towards the exit.

[1] He makes it to where Gordion fell and picks the robot's smoking remains up in his stride - an act that slows him down just enough for the Captain to go for one last, desperate attack. [5+1=6] He throws his sword.

It spins in the air. It whooshes. It crackles with electricity.

[Dodge:1] It buries itself through Vissilik's neck and sends out a gallon of alien blood to paint the walls of the bridge.

[Damage:5*2=10] And so the end comes... for a genius beyond his time.

A Hero has fallen. The rest of the team get an uneasy feeling they cannot quite explain.

---

Spoiler: Vissilik (click to show/hide)

Status: Genial.
HP: -6/30
Possessions:
-Greyfang [Damage 2/Tearing II, Inspiring/Wolf]
-Gordion Personal Drone [Disabled.] [Shield DR:-2/Combat Scanning/Servant, Intelligence]
-The Green Hat [Can shoot out poisoned money. Stylish.]
0 Fabricator Tokens
Traits: None

---
Sorry, Irony. I'm gonna admit - I even rerolled some 1s, but they just kept coming, and I can't argue with the RNG... So dies Vissilik. He will be missed. We did not know him for long, but his accomplishments will live on forever.

I'm not sure if I should bring in the first waitlister now and teleport them in (after a few tries at the Fabricator), or only after this mission. Thoughts?

[Harry Baldman]

Evil Roy affably compliments the robot's healing prowess, recommending that he consider a career in medicine with magic hands like that, approvingly patting him on the back with a slightly bloodstained appendage.

Evil Roy tries to locate a window and take a look outside.

[Toaster]

((Noooo!  His antics will be remembered.  I'd say we've got this reasonably under control, and we can push on as is.))

"Mmm, yes, I suppose.  But do not forget; if you betray us, we will visit upon you a fate worse than your compatriot here.  A terror of incomprehensible awe that will bring any mortal man to his knees."

Let him help (with advice, not touching) shut off the excess Nazis, with supervision.  If he tries anything funny, terrorport him.

[Yoink]

((Only seven more deaths and I'll be next for the grinder!

...Still... poor Vissilik. What a guy. D:))

[Harry Baldman]

((Noooo!  His antics will be remembered.  I'd say we've got this reasonably under control, and we can push on as is.))

((Says the guy in the balloon of explosive gas careening dangerously into another, larger balloon of explosive gas.))

[Toaster]

((On an RTD Disaster Scale 1-10 I'd say that barely makes a three.))

[Hiddenleafguy]

((Ahem, I believe that the duel may require someone to badly copy over the face art of vissiklisk and the captain, and put it over the faces of Inigo and Westly in their duel!))

[NAV]

Rest in peace Vissilik you truly were a genius beyond your time. Too bad no one was there to witness and remember that duel.

Crit helps Speaks with his button mashing.