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A dashing swordsman!

A skillful thief!

A mesmerising dancer!

An incredible archer!

A powerful mage!

A knowledgeable shaman!

A compassionate healer!

A calm soldier!

An expert horseman!

A dazzling monk!

A rider of winged steeds!

A tamer of dragons!

Why can I vote on this even though I made the poll?

[Bluexdog]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Fang Of The Wilds

: "When can I impale something?"


Class: Soldier Trainee > Knight > Great Knight

Character Specific Skill: Wrath

Affinity: <Pick from one of two (determined randomly)>

Personal Fault: Not enough sleep (-15 hit after if he uses up all of his move.)

Personal Skill: (when within 3 tiles of an allies +15 hit)



Preferred stats: Defence, HP

 Weapon profs: Lance (E)



Starting Progression: 330%


HP 20 +2 (60)

STR 4 +2 (60)

MAG 0 (10)

 SKL 3 (30

 CON 5

AID 4

LUK 1 (30)

 DEF 5 (60)

RES 0  (40)

SPD 2 (40)

MOV 4


Inventory:



Name | Type ( ) | Rng | Wt | Mt | Hit | Cr | Ql


Slim Lance | Pier (E) | 1 | 4 | 5 | 85 | 10 | 35

Vulnerary



Battle Stats (with weapon):

AT: 8

Hit: 92

AS: (I’m no good at math…)

Eva: ^

Crt: 10.5



Bio: Fang was raised Like a normal wilder, taught to fight at 8, killed his first creature at 10, but he lost his father at 13, at 17 he left his village, taking multiple jobs in order to make some money for his village, 2 years later he returned to a burned and monster invested village. Fang lost it, he wondered the land for another year before taking a mercenary job.

Edited my characters backstory

Incase u missed it

If it still isent good enough I need help then

[UXLZ]

You definitely do, but not from me. I can help a little bit, like minor suggestions, but... I dunno, I feel like if I helped you a lot personally, and then still didn't accept your character, it would feel a bit unfair to you, if that makes any sense? I mean, I can help your ability to write in general, but it's looking quite unlikely you'll be able to get into this campaign at this point.

Is English not your first language, perchance? Something that majorly detracts from the quality of anything you write is your grammar and sentence structure, something which you seem to have a bit of issue with. I mean, maybe you're just not used to it?

In_case uyou missed it.

I mean, it's only a space, two extra letters and a full stop, but it massively adds to the quality. Geez, I hope I'm not being patronizing here, but it really will help you improve!
 

[Caellath]

@UXLZ: So, what was wrong with that mug's eyes? I had to leave before I saw a reply.

Deciding on a concept and class is one of the hardest parts for me, right there with growth build. Since I never made a sword-using character, I might make a Myrmidon > Swordsmaster specializing in Crushing weapons.

[UXLZ]

That sounds swell, I guess.

The left eye is really whacked out compared to the other one. Just show it to Gig, I'm sure he'll pick up on it right away.

[Caellath]

Hm, I figured that might be it. I recently changed his eyes a bit trying a different shading and it something seemed weird though I couldn't pinpoint what.

Ok, I think I came up with a more developed concept. I guess by now it'll be A Thing unless my brain offers me something better.

And drag Gig to the forums to RP with me in Clashing Ideals.

[GiglameshDespair]

Hm, I figured that might be it. I recently changed his eyes a bit trying a different shading and it something seemed weird though I couldn't pinpoint what.

Ok, I think I came up with a more developed concept. I guess by now it'll be A Thing unless my brain offers me something better.

And drag Gig to the forums to RP with me in Clashing Ideals.

Me? On the forums? It's more likely than you think.

[Bluexdog]

I need a bit of help with my character's bio, any suggestions? also my grammar is only cause I'm used to typing in MMO's where the game still runs as I chat

[GiglameshDespair]

I need a bit of help with my character's bio, any suggestions? also my grammar is only cause I'm used to typing in MMO's where the game still runs as I chat

Ok. First of all - do try to type properly. It's much more pleasant to read, and this isn't an mmo - so you can take as much time as you need to add punctuation and grammar. A few points to start with are in the spoiler below.

Spoiler: The aforementioned (click to show/hide)

Your character doesn't look like a Fang of the Wilds: he looks like some civilised cavalier. That's at least part of the problem; his mug doesn't fit whatever character you're trying to make.

Your bio is very... minimal. The Wildermen are very primitive. It seems odd they'd just have "jobs" for him to take, as it seems unlikely they really have money - they don't have the trade, the industry, or the central authority to have money of their own or someone else's currency. Similiarly, how did he get a full set of immaculate armour as a primitive tribal?

How was he taught to fight at 8? It certainly could have started then, but you can't learn to fight properly as an eight year old, if nothing else because your body isn't developed yet enough.

How did he kill a monster before he even went through puberty? That's also something that's kind of an issue; if monsters are weak enough to be killed by prepubescents they really aren't much of a threat, and I don't think Wildermen are such ubermensch their average 10-year-olds are capable of slaying monsters. Consider if we fight them in game, you character will be less able to fight them than his ten year old self. There's gameplay and story segregation, but don't go overboard with it.

Why did his father die? What did he do after? Who was his father, what did he do? What about his mother?

Why did he leave his village? Why did he return?

When you say he "lost it", what do you mean by that? Your character doesn't look insane. What are his motivations, his interests? Why did he become part of this particular expedition if he was some random merc?

[Bluexdog]

I'll just rewrite the backstory. Knight as a class doesn't work well for Wildermen, I guess.

[Bluexdog]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: John West

: "When can I impale something?"


Class: Soldier Trainee > Knight > Great Knight

Character Specific Skill: Wrath

Affinity: <Pick from one of two (determined randomly)>

Personal Fault: Not enough sleep (-15 hit after if he uses up all of his move.)

Personal Skill: (when within 3 tiles of an allies +15 hit)



Preferred stats: Defence, HP

 Weapon profs: Lance (E)



Starting Progression: 330%


HP 20 +2 (60)

STR 4 +2 (60)

MAG 0 (10)

 SKL 3 (30

 CON 5

AID 4

LUK 1 (30)

 DEF 5 (60)

RES 0  (40)

SPD 2 (40)

MOV 4


Inventory:



Name | Type ( ) | Rng | Wt | Mt | Hit | Cr | Ql


Slim Lance | Pier (E) | 1 | 4 | 5 | 85 | 10 | 35

Vulnerary



Battle Stats (with weapon):

AT: 8

Hit: 92

AS: (I’m no good at math…)

Eva: ^

Crt: 10.5



Bio: A native of Zadrye, John had a long standing military career. His parents pressured him into joining the army and carrying on the family tradition. He obeyed the will of his parents, yet he was still unhappy. He left the army due to him upsetting his superiors by not taking orders. When John returned home, his family was devastated that he had broken tradition, and disowned him. For 2 years John struggled to maintain a living, taking jobs wherever he found them. He eventually found a mercenary job that offered a lot of gold, he took it immediately. The job was to escort some Vathatan noblewoman, for whatever reason.

Better?

[F.O.E.]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: John West

: "When can I impale something?"


Class: Soldier Trainee > Knight > Great Knight

Character Specific Skill: Wrath

Affinity: <Pick from one of two (determined randomly)>

Personal Fault: Not enough sleep (-15 hit after if he uses up all of his move.)

Personal Skill: (when within 3 tiles of an allies +15 hit)



Preferred stats: Defence, HP

 Weapon profs: Lance (E)



Starting Progression: 330%


HP 20 +2 (60)

STR 4 +2 (60)

MAG 0 (10)

 SKL 3 (30

 CON 5

AID 4

LUK 1 (30)

 DEF 5 (60)

RES 0  (40)

SPD 2 (40)

MOV 4


Inventory:



Name | Type ( ) | Rng | Wt | Mt | Hit | Cr | Ql


Slim Lance | Pier (E) | 1 | 4 | 5 | 85 | 10 | 35

Vulnerary



Battle Stats (with weapon):

AT: 8

Hit: 92

AS: (I’m no good at math…)

Eva: ^

Crt: 10.5



Bio: A native of Zadrye, John had a long standing military career. His parents pressured him into joining the army and carrying on the family tradition. He obeyed the will of his parents, yet he was still unhappy. He left the army due to him upsetting his superiors by not taking orders. When John returned home, his family was devastated that he had broken tradition, and disowned him. For 2 years John struggled to maintain a living, taking jobs wherever he found them. He eventually found a mercenary job that offered a lot of gold, he took it immediately. The job was to escort some Vathatan noblewoman, for whatever reason.

Better?

That's better, though as someone who once played a similar character, why was he unhappy and why did that result in disobeying orders? It's good to have something like that nailed down right in the beginning.

[Bluexdog]

Forgot to mention he wont kill someone or fight with them if they didn't do anything to him. I was planning on that coming up in the campaign. His orders were to execute a civilian that was said to be a "Spy"

[Caellath]

Basically done barring twitchy edits.

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: Theor Domaine
Class: Swordsman Trainee -> Myrmidon -> Swordsmaster
 
Character Specific Skill: Awareness
Affinity: Dark
 
Personal Fault: Even Field: Theor doesn't benefit from WTA.
Personal Skill (T): Poise: Theor gains +15 Evasion at 50% HP and above.
- Personal Skill (F): -
- - Personal Skill (P): -
 
--------
 
Preferred stats: SKL, SPD
Weapon profs: Sword (E)
Progression spent: 330/330
 
HP:  18   (55%)
STR: 4    (60%)
MAG: 1   (00%)
SKL: 5    (55%)
LCK: 2    (50%)
DEF: 2    (30%)
RES: 0    (30%)
SPD: 4+2 (50%)
CON: 4+2 (-)
AID: 3     (-)
MOV: 4    (-)

Current Stats:
 
HP:  18
STR: 4
MAG: 1
SKL: 5
LCK: 2
DEF: 2
RES: 0
SPD: 6
CON: 6
AID: 5
MOV: 4
 
 
Inventory:
Name            |Type| |(-)| |RNG| |MT| |WT| |CR| |Hit| |QL|
Wooden Sword|Crush||(E)|  |1|    |6|   |4|    |0| |100| |50|
Vulnerary (3/3)
 
Battle Stats (with Wooden Sword):
AT : 10
Hit: 111
AS : 6
Eva: 14
Crt: 2
DG : 2
 
Bio: For Theor's story - as short as it might be - to be told, one needs first to be acquainted with his family. The Domaine family's roots stretch back to a mercenary band that existed a few decades ago and that then consisted mostly of Zadrye's sellswords. Despite a moderate variety of troops, a sizable amount of its soldiers used swords in combat both due to its versatility and to differentiate themselves from a regular army's usage of barely-trained spearmen due to its ease of manufacture and simplicity. Calling themselves the Giving Hand, they operated from North Vathatan, enjoying the good position of their small base to take contracts from three countries. They also enjoyed a good reputation, with ranks peppered by ex-soldiers and good warriors who avoided the near-bandit mindset of many other mercs.

It was after a village defense contract that one of the group's lieutenants had an idea that'd change the group's destiny: train militiamen. Unless you were part of a military, most combat learning had to come from the school of hard knocks and that was a harsh one. Though the idea seemed at first a foolish one since they'd be taking their own jobs, a few good points were raised: there were always jobs available, and not all of them involved protecting or saving peasants; they could keep charging while the training lasted, providing steady and larger income; the militia would still need their help sometimes, and when they did the band's own manpower losses would be diminished, and finally they could use the villages as recruiting grounds, recovering part of their invested time.

The plan was approved and put into motion, and in the span of a few years the Giving Hand had many of its older members working as full-time instructors while some of the veterans rotated between combat and teaching. The system was working surprisingly well, specially within Nostor's territory. Thanks to the more learned and/or wiser members of the Hand, a few of the mercs were raised to a way of the sword that included a measure of honor and fairness even in war. The best instructors were hired by noblemen as private combat tutors for their children, finding it chic to have exotic mercenaries as opposed to generals or officers teaching their offspring in the ways of war.

The Domaine family was one that was born into the new era of a burgeoning Guiding Hand, when what was a small hideout became a village filled with training buildings and a reserve force apt to defend it from bandit predations. The surname was created and taken by the patriarch, originally named only Mathias and a lieutenant of the Hand, with the intention of making it an important one within the organization, and much like its founder the members of the family cultivated both honor and pride for their sword technique. Not only were they expected to be exemplary warriors, but they were also taught strive to be good teachers, so as to better train both militias and the odd savvy nobleman's offspring.

Theor was therefore born to an already well-established family, the third son of a family which already had tradition and was a recognized name within the village as one of the founding families of the Guiding Hand's new era. The only major problems suffered during his infancy being the occasional shortage of vital materials due to the merc village's forces stretching too thin and allowing bandit blockades to be formed, and even those didn't last that long. Still it was a mostly good childhood, being taught important values of honor and philosophy before he was allowed to train with a practice sword. He and his siblings helped his family's noncombatants and resting soldiers during daily tasks and grew up to be a surprisingly educated intelligent for a mercenary; observing the enemy, and doing it well could be far more decisive to a clash of blades than strength or speed.

When his teenage years hit what was colloquially called "real" training began for him; exercises focusing on both skill and sheer ability were introduced into his life and he would be bestowed the Domaine sword technique just like to his brothers and sisters - no distinctions made. Like most of his line, he was also instructed on how to teach at the same time, learning how to hold drills and correct wrong stances and swings. However, a problem was made known to the head of the household after a few years. Theor had not only began using heavier swords for training but also seemed driven to incorporate them into his fighting style for whatever reason. The young man could not be convinced to give up on using such weapons, or at least forfeit his attempts at integrating them into his family's traditional swordsmanship.

It was not that Theor disliked the slashing swords his family favored - he was in fact an eclectic fighter and had quite the fondness for throwing knives - but for a reason that he disclosed to no one he insisted on employing inadequate and unbalanced blades to execute his family's training. He was told he hadn't been trained to handle them, and that the technique was nearly completely weighed towards precision instead of hacking motions, to no avail. Tensions ran high and the facade of wise acceptance held by many of the family's relatives and acquaintances was pushed to its limits, until Theor decided to leave out of his own volition to seek his own path and better opportunities before he was disinherited or worse.

Looking for job opportunities, he found a promising one in the shape of employ to a noblewoman and readily sought it out, eager to prove his worth and, of course, make a living.

[Bluexdog]

My chances of getting in have been crushed 

Why do I feel like the world hates me....

The worst that could happen is that I end up on the wait list but still

[UXLZ]

Sadly, yes, you haven't gotten in. However, the waiting list is first come first serve, so you're first on that, and if I decide to expand the player limit to 12, you're also first on that, so it's not all downside. Sorry, though, I just couldn't justify taking your character over any of the others. >_>