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[Megggas]

I think this is the decoded message:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

TESTING/SETTING SUBJECTS.
SUBJECTS HAVE NO MEANINGFUL DEFENSIVE MEASURES.
PREPARE TO INVADE.

The first word could be testing or setting, I'm not really sure.  I didn't figure out the pattern, I just tried unscrambling each word manually.

[poketwo]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gateinestv mero itno efendsivse via andbithw etwonkr hmmun ash. raicualrpy itno pwmd pacciyt.

(IN MY OWN ENCRIPTION, SUCKERS!!!!))

[fillipk]

(I think your right.)

Prepare meaningful defenses

[star2wars3]

I think this is the decoded message:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

TESTING/SETTING SUBJECTS.
SUBJECTS HAVE NO MEANINGFUL DEFENSIVE MEASURES.
PREPARE TO INVADE.

The first word could be testing or setting, I'm not really sure.  I didn't figure out the pattern, I just tried unscrambling each word manually.

Congrats you solved the message. Just to show you the encrypting I did here is an example of a word with the steps I took.

Testing-> Tnstieg -> Snttieg -> Snttgei

Now back to the turn:
For an unknown reason you decided to land in a forest. You decide to play as Alphonso.

You are Alphonso:
You decide that you want to become combat ready so you craft a small fishing spear. (Because that is clearly a meaningful defense)

[Hiddenleafguy]

look for a place I can steal a fighter jet.

[poketwo]

I think this is the decoded message:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

TESTING/SETTING SUBJECTS.
SUBJECTS HAVE NO MEANINGFUL DEFENSIVE MEASURES.
PREPARE TO INVADE.

The first word could be testing or setting, I'm not really sure.  I didn't figure out the pattern, I just tried unscrambling each word manually.

Congrats you solved the message. Just to show you the encrypting I did here is an example of a word with the steps I took.

Testing-> Tnstieg -> Snttieg -> Snttgei

Now back to the turn:
For an unknown reason you decided to land in a forest. You decide to play as Alphonso.

You are Alphonso:
You decide that you want to become combat ready so you craft a small fishing spear. (Because that is clearly a meaningful defense)

((What of my secret action?))

[star2wars3]

I think this is the decoded message:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

TESTING/SETTING SUBJECTS.
SUBJECTS HAVE NO MEANINGFUL DEFENSIVE MEASURES.
PREPARE TO INVADE.

The first word could be testing or setting, I'm not really sure.  I didn't figure out the pattern, I just tried unscrambling each word manually.

Congrats you solved the message. Just to show you the encrypting I did here is an example of a word with the steps I took.

Testing-> Tnstieg -> Snttieg -> Snttgei

Now back to the turn:
For an unknown reason you decided to land in a forest. You decide to play as Alphonso.

You are Alphonso:
You decide that you want to become combat ready so you craft a small fishing spear. (Because that is clearly a meaningful defense)

((What of my secret action?))

I am a GM who is decent at creating his own encryptions but horrible at de-crypting any encryptions when I don't have the key told to me for the given encrypted message.
Here is what I've decrypted so far from your message:

Investigate more into defensives via bandwith network hmman (human + mispelling ?) has. Raicualrpy into pwmd pacciyt.
The players can't do this action until I fully decrypt the rest of the message.

Until I do that I will go with other responses:
You decide your fishing spear isn't O.P. enough.

look for a place I can steal a fighter jet.

(Not that you know how to fly one)

[Hiddenleafguy]

Pudgey can teach me!

[star2wars3]

Pudgey can teach me!

Seems Legit...

You stumble across a secret army base. (It has an airfield by the way)

[Hiddenleafguy]

Go to it, and attempting to channel my inner conman, tell them that I am a government agent, and that plan-36572 "Nuclear war and alien invasion at the same time" and that they are to report to Seattle, and according to the plan all aircraft are to be left behind.

[star2wars3]

Go to it, and attempting to channel my inner conman, tell them that I am a government agent, and that plan-36572 "Nuclear war and alien invasion at the same time" and that they are to report to Seattle, and according to the plan all aircraft are to be left behind.

You roll a 5. It worked. I can't believe it worked. It shouldn't have worked. How...?

[Hiddenleafguy]

Maybe it was too absurd to be false?

[Nunzillor]

Pudgey: Using experience from WW2, teach Alphonso how to fly a fighter jet.  Then, find one with bird-controls, take off, and do some awesome aerial tricks.

[star2wars3]

Maybe it was too absurd to be false?

Good point.

Pudgey: Using experience from WW2, teach Alphonso how to fly a fighter jet.  Then, find one with bird-controls, take off, and do some awesome aerial tricks.

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hiddenleafguy]

After pudgy teaches me how to fly, I shall take, one at a time, the planes back to our base location. I shall then begin building a runway.