Discrete is one of those words with more than one meaning
Ah, butt it was plane watt was meant; no won is parfait, but inn my ayes, it seams the too words their are natural compliments.
"Parfait" is totally pronounced differently from "perfect" and "what" is usually pronounced with the vowel substantially lower in the mouth, closer to the u in "butt" than the a in "taco"*. Aside from "won" and (in some dialects) "plane" the rest of those mistakes differ in tone, emphasis, or phoneme length. Close enough to be well within the bounds of what someone would understand, but not mistakes that a native speaker would make accidentally. Discreet and discrete are identical words in everything except how Webster and friends decided to standardize the spelling.
You're no fun.
At any rate, if you're critiquing my joke in earnest, your choices of quibbles seem a bit odd to me. I'd consider "butt/but", "plane/plain", "won/one", "inn/in", "ayes/eyes", "seams/seems", "too/two", "their/there", and "compliments/complements" to all be phonetically identical to within a margin of error, and I'd consider "too", "their", and especially "compliments" to be very, very common mistakes made by native speakers. On the flip side, I wouldn't consider "won/one" to be a common mistake made by a native speaker at all. I also wouldn't consider "discreet" and "discrete" to be identical at all, especially if one considers "compliment" and "complement" to be highly distinct.