Nab GM's spine manifest and get out.
[2]
No manifest for you.
Find a spaceship. Or someone to murder. Or both.
[5]
You find a spaceship with a murderable captain!
Ask for a peaceful truce between the demons and humanity; if they don't kill us, we will provide humans and booze!
Ask the presidents of other cities for military back up, discreetly. If found, tell the booze demons we're getting immigrants for them to eat.
[1]
The booze demons decide you are stupid and ignore you, going about business as usual.
Plus all the other world leaders are building spaceships for some reason or other.
Point out that radiation doesn't disintegrate things and suddenly be not disintegrated.
[2]
Meet Yilmaz. Yilmaz will explain the science from now on.
"Alpha and beta radiation are particles, so they can disintergrate things, STOOOOOOOOOOOGE"
COUNTER WITH THUNDERF00T!!!!! HE IS ACTUAL NUCLEAR SCIENTIST, NOT SOME IDIOTIC YOUTUBE VLOGER!!!!!!! YOU EVEN MISSPELLED DISINTEGRATE!!!!!!!
[3]
That was a fusion reactor. Like a miniature star going off. Not much survives them.
Also, one exclamation point is enough. Have some self control.Absorb mana and radiation with cheap bootleg paper playing card surface. Become self-aware bootleg playing card.
[6]
You are self-aware! Alas, you have no senses, so this self awareness is absolutely terrifying.
Replace the leader of the group with someone intelligent, like myself.
[2]
The group decides they're better off on their own and leave.
Get some guards to defend the work force.
[2]
Lemons have no fingers, so they can't pull the triggers of their guns. Many lemon workers fall to the plague of people needing a lemon.
Search for more dapper things to wear.
[4]
Another top hat!
Let Jake shield me
[6]
Jake is cleaved into lots of little pieces by four massive, plane-sized scythes made of reinforced bone.
That's a Gigalisk. You may want to run.Meditate on why I'm still alive.
[4]
Lots of dumb luck, apparently.
*pop*
"Urgh... wha- whe- huh?"
Investigate reasons for the existence of the nearby piles of empty bottles, status of nakedness and check if it's Christmas. Location would be nice too.
[5]
It isn't Christmas, you're still fully clothed, and you're standing in town square. Good times.
Examine my surroundings carefully for threats while replacing the Relativistic Accelerators in my Remarkable Revolving Potato Musket in an attempt to make it work properly this time.
[2]
You lost the potato musket in the carnage. Not good.
rummage through the rubble for monies
[4]
You find several caches of cheese, instead.