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[Squirrelloid]

Had a dwarf engrave an image of a 'flesh ball'.  I don't think I want to know what that is.  (It's a masterful image too...).

[Eric Blank]

Its a cavern critter, they're literally just a ball of muscle tissue that rolls around the caverns, supposedly absorbing detritus as they go. They're pretty much harmless because they're effectively blind and can only "push" things if provoked, which rarely does anything

[King Kitteh]

They're pretty much harmless because they're effectively blind and can only "push" things if provoked, which rarely does anything

Don't underestimate the push! Remember the Sponges?

[Mathel]

Well, the push's power is size-dependant, so unless the meatballs are Giant (like the Giant sponge), they are not that bad.

[muldrake]

What is the most humane way of murdering absolutely useless migrants who show up just to pop you over the limit where you get titan attacks?  NOBODY WANTS CHEESE YOU IDIOTS.  GO AWAY.

[da_nang]

What is the Piledriver? Did you make a platinum rain gun to send letters to santa?

Also.
I've gotten near my wits end with my mega project. The walls where easy to make when compared to doing flooring for the top layer.

Sooo much soap... so much.

Just wait until you get a human lord consort that walks at least SIX times slower than a dwarf and wants to help with a megaproject.

He ended up sacrificed to the gods.

[Ironfang]

Also.
I've gotten near my wits end with my mega project. The walls where easy to make when compared to doing flooring for the top layer.

Sooo much soap... so much.

Just wait until you get a human lord consort that walks at least SIX times slower than a dwarf and wants to help with a megaproject.

He ended up sacrificed to the gods.

Around half of my fort is made up of guests that became citizens. I ended up turning most of them into cannon fodder used to purge the freeloading guests.
Random slaughter caused a loyalty cascade that resulted in the deaths of my best metalworkers, most of my elite surface guard, and most of my crossbow dwarves.
12 of them were killed by the 16 year old Hammerlord named "The Somber Lessons of Virginity".

11 years of toil of nearly 180 humanoids has been unable to complete my monument. I hope I can finish it soon so I can start a cool challenge fort I thought of.

[Derro]

Work on the tavern staff's quarters was quietly proceeding when tragedy struck! A giant web-spitting turquoise earthworm appeared and killed what must've been three dozen people. My militia was useless: the beast would just web them and crush their heads with a single bite. The subsequent flood of foolish haulers didn't do much to slow it down either. In the end, a merchant (who was pretty heavily wounded by then), killed it with a push that bruised its brain enough to cause death. Wow.

With thirty inhabitants left, the fortress will once more have to delay the 'happy fun cave dungeon time' project.

[BesorgterZwerg]

What is the most humane way of murdering absolutely useless migrants who show up just to pop you over the limit where you get titan attacks?  NOBODY WANTS CHEESE YOU IDIOTS.  GO AWAY.

The atomsmasher. They wont feel anything.

[muldrake]

12 of them were killed by the 16 year old Hammerlord named "The Somber Lessons of Virginity".

We need to get better at getting these guys laid, because, like, seriously.

[Immortal-D]

What is the most humane way of murdering absolutely useless migrants who show up just to pop you over the limit where you get titan attacks?  NOBODY WANTS CHEESE YOU IDIOTS.  GO AWAY.

I want cheese   But I also like to micro-manage stockpiles to see how many varieties of cheese I can pack into a single roast.

[AzyWng]

What is the most humane way of murdering absolutely useless migrants who show up just to pop you over the limit where you get titan attacks?  NOBODY WANTS CHEESE YOU IDIOTS.  GO AWAY.

The atomsmasher. They wont feel anything.

Turn them all into soldiers or something and send them deep into the caves.

[Derro]

What is the most humane way of murdering absolutely useless migrants who show up just to pop you over the limit where you get titan attacks?  NOBODY WANTS CHEESE YOU IDIOTS.  GO AWAY.

The atomsmasher. They wont feel anything.

Turn them all into soldiers or something and send them deep into the caves.

Build a large raising drawbridge, make it a meeting area, and use it to fling useless migrants up. Bonus points if you construct a giant archery target from colored stone blocks in the landing zone and never remove the corpses.

[muldrake]

Turn them all into soldiers or something and send them deep into the caves.

I was actually thrilled to have a forgotten beast show up right after the useless migrants, but when I sent them at it, a cat knocked it unconscious before they got to it.  But then they punched it for three months straight, constantly passing out from exhaustion, before it somehow finally died.

[Ronnoc]

My first fortress was just destroyed 
I was mining out some new spaces for my sheriff and manager when around 15 new citizens arrived and just stood there idling in a pile by the wagon. Soon afterwards I got a message that was something like "Were-elephant has been spotted". I immediately recruited all of the new citizens into a militia and ordered them to attack the were-elephant. By the time a hammerdwarf killed it the monster had killed all except five. I immediately retired the fort after.
The were-elephant killed in roughly this order: a few randoms->militia commander->pile of guys near wagon->expedition leader-> sheriff->the rest of the peasants. All that was left was pools of blood, mangled corpses, and limbs strewn about. The only reason I managed to kill it is because it transformed into a goblin halfway through the fight. All in all it was a pretty good way to end my fortress.