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[Saetar33]

So my fortress Gemspike is in it's fourth year, 160 dwarves under a new baron, pump stack just got finished so now the reservoir is full and real projects can begin. Suddenly, a vile force of darkness appears! The dwarves aren't impressed, this is the third siege the goblins have attempted. But what's this blinking pink-n-purple goblin now?

Båx Atuomngo, Master.

Well, damn, this should be interesting. Prepare the defenses, man the ballistae, get the marksdwarves in the roost and check the dogbombs! Let's get a count of the goblins... wait, the master doesn't show up here now... Where did he go? Check where he spawned...

And there lay his corpse. Checking the combat log reveals this:

The master attacks The Goblin Maceman but He jumps away!
The Goblin misses The Goblin Maceman!
The Goblin Maceman bashes The Goblin in the left lower arm with his ({copper morningstar}), fracturing the bone and shattering the left elbow's bone through the ({giant cave spider silk cloak})!
Melbil •nuliden, Milker cancels Store Item in Stockpile: Item inaccessible.
The Goblin Maceman bashes The Goblin in the left hand with his ({copper morningstar}), fracturing the bone through the ({cave spider silk left glove})!
A ligament has been torn and a tendon has been torn!
The Goblin gives in to pain.
The Goblin Maceman bashes The Goblin in the head with his ({copper morningstar}), tearing the muscle and tearing the upper spine's nervous tissue through the ({cave spider silk hood})!
A tendon in the upper spine has been torn!
The Goblin Maceman bashes The Goblin in the head with her ({copper flail}), bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!

It would appear that the master, upon entering the fortress region, turn to one of his followers and, without even carrying a weapon, went to attack him, to which the offended maceman beat him around for a while before another goblin brained the former Master in one shot.

That's all fine by me, but there are still 49 goblins, 5 trolls and 16 elk birds heading for my little 4.6-million dwarfbuck hole in the ground. Let's hope this goes my way.

Dwarfbucks + Material value + Materials + Lots of thrower/archers = TIS RAINING MONEH.

[Mystery]

Is chirstmas time. Locked off the workshops so everyone gets a day off!

[CapnUrist]

So the siege wasn't as exciting as I'd like. Most interesting part was when the Axelord slipped past my weapon traps and tried to move into my fortress, which wasn't too far away. Unfortuneately, he hit the last defense: a pressure plate (one of two) linked to my dogbomb, a cage of 56 war dogs. He hits it, they all fly out and charge him. Poor bastard did manage to kill two and injure a third before they pushed him into the !!decorative!! magma channels that flank my entry halls.

While all that was happening the rest of the siege was being bludgeoned to death by the aforementioned weapon traps, specifically some 660 large serrated green glass discs in weapon traps, 10 per. I suppose I could make them out of silver or something but that leaves goblin salsa everywhere.

[Kerosene]

Syndrome argggggggh! For whatever reason, my main entrance is nearly completely covered in forgotten beast goo. I'm not sure which FB it was, but at least a couple of them were poisonous and cause my dwarves to spray blood from their feet, usually dying before getting to the hospital. It's claimed about 30-40 dwarves and at least as many pets, including my mayor (and broker/recordkeeper) and duchess (the second to last of my starting seven) back to back. I installed a mist generator between the cavern levels and the main fortress to try to clean them off, and I think it stopped the first Plague, but now a second Plague is upon Oiledanguishes (a name which seems far too appropriate now). I'm currently trying to install a mist generator over the main gate to hose it down - barring that, I'll have to pump water or magma up to the surface to thoroughly scrub it out. It's a tribute to the strength of this disease that it's killed far more of my dwarves than actual combat so far.

[Jacob/Lee]

I'm building a drowning trap, the only inhibitor is that the stream freezes from Opal 1st to Opal 24th.

[Don Blake]

Just killed my first Forgotten Beast (Hammer Lord knocked the head off of a Brown Zircon Quadraped after he and the rest of my military fractured every part of its body), now waiting for the elves to show up so I can buy some animals to supplement my military in the next fight.

[iyaerP]

I'm building a drowning trap, the only inhibitor is that the stream freezes from Opal 1st to Opal 24th.

Build an underground cistern.

So long as all water is underground, it won't freeze.

[Puzzlemaker]

I had my squad of five "soldiers" chase around a... Draltha?  Who somehow wondered into my fort.  At first it cautiously crept out of the nook it had found into my main fortress, until it saw someone.  Then it bolted down a corridor, hid there for awhile, then slowlyyy crept out again.  Eventually I sent my soldiers after it. 

Ten minutes later, after chasing it around the ENTIRE FORTRESS, one of my soldiers finally managed to actually hit it.  It promptly bit his foot off and continued running.  I felt really bad for the thing, I didn't really want to kill it but I didn't have any cage traps at the ready either.  It was saddening.

[Iados]

I just managed to splatter my sheriff by raising a drawbridge. It happens every time.

Also, my glassmaker just died of thirst (he went insane because he failed to build an artifact) in my ultra-crowded meeting hall. tantrum spiral incoming...

[schussel]

I just managed to splatter my sheriff by raising a drawbridge. It happens every time.

if that'S an indoor draw bridge .. try to anticipate the flight angle  and prepare  in that way by creating a nice open spaceway to launch certain subject into open air

[SurfinShroom]

starting a new fort
anyway to guarantee goblin civ's in the area?
 This would be my third fort running that's never seen a seige, I've been playing this a month or two and I want a siege ffs :L
untamed/sinister means elephants right? I kinda want those aswell

[Torgan]

On the embark screen where you choose where you are going to embark press tab a few times and the right hand panel will show all nations that will be in contact with you there, it could be goblins were wiped out during worldgen or you have been embarking on a continent where they are not present.

[schussel]

starting a new fort
anyway to guarantee goblin civ's in the area?
 This would be my third fort running that's never seen a seige, I've been playing this a month or two and I want a siege ffs :L
untamed/sinister means elephants right? I kinda want those aswell

copy the whole evil part in the entity default raws  and give the new  version another name like evil2 .. it enhances the gobbos .. but carefull with 3+ gobo civs   at the same time you risk a worldwide dieing of all other civs in long genning times

[rephikul]

starting a new fort
anyway to guarantee goblin civ's in the area?
 This would be my third fort running that's never seen a seige, I've been playing this a month or two and I want a siege ffs :L
untamed/sinister means elephants right? I kinda want those aswell

copy the whole evil part in the entity default raws  and give the new  version another name like evil2 .. it enhances the gobbos .. but carefull with 3+ gobo civs   at the same time you risk a worldwide dieing of all other civs in long genning times

how about just play FD instead?

[Horizon9]

My fortress was just attacked by goblins.
I tried to shut them out by pulling the lever that closed the floodgate, but someone's clothes were in the way, so the goblins got inside and got past all of my traps.
20-30 dwarves were slaughtered in the resulting fight, with many more to come due to insanity and berserking dwarves.
The dead was also coming back to haunt the fortress.
So yeah, we were pretty much screwed.