Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[NightmareBros]

oh god Dralthas everywhere

I had a door to keep them out (there's a huge colony of them in my cavern layer), But a Troll decided to smash the door down and now Dralthas are killing everthing.

[Jacob/Lee]

"Okay, boss just told me to build an obsidian wall to dam the stream flowing into the major river, he said I would be fine because the 6 pumps are working full force to hold the hell stream back.

*few minutes later*

Oh my god, this is terrifying, i'm looking over a 50 foot drop down to a river full of carp and other fish, and boss expects me to work like this? Okay, i'm going to be fine, the pumps are reliable and they won't fai- *cracking sound of a wooden beam*

I'm okay, that was just nothing, i'm going to be safe, the carpenter probably just dropped a block or something and it fell and hit a rock. The wall is almost finished, just gotta patch this dwarf-sized hole here and i'll be don- Is that the sound of water rushing towards me?"

Urist McMason was never heard from again, and that dam was never finished.

[Pukako]

Oh God the Fun(TM)!!

Bronzeorgan didn't completely die.  Migrants came in and somehow saved it, despite the carnage.  Several more ambushes, more carnage, but I'm keeping a few dwarves alive, merchants are helping, with either guards killing gobbos, or them sacrificing themselves for (my) greater good.

There's also a lucrative trade in master work loincloths, apparently, with several of them selling for 4k dwarf bucks.  Go figure.

So I'm in this one until the bitter end.  Which may not be too far away.

[metime00]

This giant scorpion forgotten beast killed a dwarf armed with an adamantine battle axe and shield, only to get every piece of his exoskeleton broken and bleeding by an axedwarf armed only with a +Bronze Battle Axe+

What a badass.

[malimbar04]

The elf imimi is unwilling to trade with gulfcraft. "once a beautiful tree, and now? It is a rude bauble, fit only for your kind." Wait... what? I feverishly look into the items I offered. Stone crafts and instruments, rope reed and pigtail clothes (some with leather decorations), and one large crystal glass gem. Nothing their is wood.

Wait... crystal glass. I purchased it, but what is used to make it? Pearlash, which is made from ash, which once might have been burned a tree on some human lands. That's it, the elves must die.

[malimbar04]

Aannnd... crash before the elf slaughter is saved. Well, on one hand the elves aren't dead anymore (shame). On the other I know not to give them crystal, meaning I can get exotic animals a while longer. I guess I'll forgive their hypothetical insolence... this once.

[AngleWyrm]

I've taken to seizing the stuff I wanted if they try that holier-than-thou crap on me. I mean, you go to all the trouble of carefully picking through your merchandise, and they still throw a hissy fit? If they aren't going to haul away all my excess junk, then I'm taking their stuff as a fine, for breaking the time-honored custom of hauling away my garbage fine wares to share with the world at large.

[Oswald]

We just had a series of small goblin raids, silly stuff really, but one of my men ended up breaking his legs.
I've been stocking up crutches and traction benches and such, but he just sits at the entrance to my fort and dies.
Why does no one help him.

I also decided that I had way too many idlers, and decided to set them to work engraving the place.
Bad idea.
It's a chore to get anybody to do anything they're supposed too, and since I'm expecting a siege in the coming seasons, defence is a huge priority for me.
They're all chiseling to their deaths.

[AngleWyrm]

In Dwarf Therapist, click sort->Nothing, then click the engraver column twice (once turns everyone on, second time to turn everyone off) then click Commit Changes. Four mouse clicks and your troubles are solved.

[Jacob/Lee]

Apparently carp + Waterfall = hilarity.

A school of carp just fell down an 8 z-level waterfall and most of them cracked their skulls and broke most of their body.

[Dbuhos]

My best fortress just got wooped by four blizzard banshees. Four dwarfs still alive in the stockpile area, they walled themselves off.

Your settlement has crumbled to it's end.

T'was fun.

[Jacob/Lee]

My dwarves are currently fighting a watery hell trying to dam a major river.

[Tferr]

At the moment my dwarves are trying to survive in the Terrifying biome I settled. Though they should be fine since I have a legendary wrestler/fighter.
The story of this legendary dwarf is unknown since I have no idea what she fought to gain that skill.
I was playing another game at the time with DF in the background and must've forgotten to pause it. So an hour or so later I remember to check my on dwarves.
"Oh sweet, immigra- wait a minute! Why is there a dwarf corpse there?"
I noticed that there were only 4 dwarves left on the status screen, and corpses here and there.

Then I saw that one of my miners, by expedition leader too by chance, was flashing.
Having only started the Fortress some time ago I shouldn't have mined enough to have a legendary miner. So I check her skills.
Legendary wrestler.
Legendary fighter.
So I checked the combat reports.

Seems like a pair of ogres had decided the visit my small fortress and killed a lot of dwarves before this brave miner managed to hack and wrestle both of them to death.

[Pukako]

Well, Bronzeorgan has weathered almost total wipage, legendary goblin hammerers, tantrum spirals, etc, but it was ended when one goblin archer was left, standing in an inaccessible area.

My legendary miners decide to climb over the mountain to clean a forbidden trap next to the archer, and despite being peppered with shots, kept on approaching.

Out of 36 dwarves, my 5 legendary ones all stupidly get killed by one goblin archer.  Maggots. Thank goodness I can pull the magma release lever and at least wipe out the 25 caged goblins as well...

[TheJackal]

Urist McBroker: We'll also take some of those seeds, and in exchange, a nice serrated glass disc. A profit of almost 600 dorfbucks for you!

Human McJerkMerchant: We want the aluminum amulet too.

Urist McBroker: For a profit of 3200 dorfbucks? For some rock lobster and seeds?

Human McJerkmerchant: Thats right.

Urist McBroker: Fine, take it, I'll take the disc back and I'll also take that shield, and those barrels. Your final profit, 800 dorfbucks.

Human McJerkmerchant: I want the aluminum figure too. For a 5000 dorfbucks profit.

Urist McBroker: We've traded on thinner margins. I've been giving you between 500-800 profit per trade here. Why be so greedy?

Human McJerkmechant: FU. I tire of these childish games. 

The Merchants are departing!

Urist McLeverpuller: Like hell they are. LEVERPULL!

Some time later......

Urist McHauler: Those babbling insane merchants give me the creeps.

Thorist McOtherhauler: Just shut up and strip all the trade goods off this dead horse.

Urist McHauler: I wish they'd stop trying to eat the depot.