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Help me get better at DMing: is this game way, way too wordy?

Holy shit yes
- 0 (0%)
Slightly less long-winded would be better.
- 0 (0%)
No, it's fine as it is.
- 6 (60%)
I am dangerously insane and demand an excess of words. Double the length of each update.
- 4 (40%)

Total Members Voted: 10


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Author Topic: [ISG] Teovanth  (Read 23028 times)

flame99

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #30 on: March 30, 2015, 01:47:49 pm »

Bridge seems like our best bet. We're a powerful mage, we aren't going to stop our journey because of some snow! But, on the other hand, no point risking monsters when you could risk dwarves instead.

Also, just to check; can a geometrist prepare runes ahead of time, and activate them when need be?
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ShadowHammer

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #31 on: March 30, 2015, 01:53:06 pm »

Sure, go to the bridge.

For preparing runes, we could probably just write them out and leave one line missing, so all we have to do to activate it is finish the line, right? Or would it just activate immediately and go haywire due to the missing line?
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #32 on: March 30, 2015, 04:13:13 pm »

I'm not saying we should be a geometrist, but if we were an elementalist we could just walk through all the snow without issue.

Go via the bridge of Khalad-Tal
+1
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Prophet

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #33 on: March 30, 2015, 04:36:13 pm »

GEOMETRIST
+1 and +1 to the bridge of Khalad-Tal.
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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #34 on: March 31, 2015, 12:55:45 pm »

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Araph

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #35 on: March 31, 2015, 08:53:15 pm »

Go via the bridge of Khalad-Tal
+1
GEOMETRIST
+1 and +1 to the bridge of Khalad-Tal.
+1
Sure, go to the bridge.
Bridge seems like our best bet.
Bridge. Let's show the dwarves were not afraid.


You ask the ranger how you would be able to get to Khalad Tal from the hunters' outpost. His frown widens slightly, but he directs you towards one of the paths radiating away from the cluster of buildings. He asks you once more if you're sure you wouldn't rather wait until the safer route is clear, but you're certain. You are, after all, a powerful elven arcanist. You can protect yourself.

The day drags on as you continue through the snow. The terrain becomes rockier and the path starts to wind along the face of the mountain. As the sun inches towards the horizon, you round a corner and see the dwarven bridge for the first time.


The immense structure of stone and metal stretches across the valley. You know that Khalad Tal is an ancient megastructure, a monument to dwarven determination, skill, and ingenuity, but you never considered that your journey might take you across it. The path weaves back into the mountain and the bridge soon falls out of sight. The wind whistles through the cracks in the stone around you as you silently continue on your way. As the sun begins to truly set, the small, unkempt trail you follow abruptly joins with a much, much larger road - this one carved directly into the stone of the mountain. A dwarven highway, leading directly towards the bridge. Looking north once more, you see the massive structure up close.


It's positively humbling. The highway spans thirty feet wide, and the central pillars supporting the bridge soar above the causeway another thirty feet. The fact that any civilization, let alone an ancient one, could have built such a thing boggles your mind.

You remember the ranger's warning about border patrols. After checking to see if the coast is clear, you hurry along the road towards your destination.

At the edge of the bridge, no sign of border patrols yet. A third of the way across, still no dwarves. You glance out over the valley and wow, are you high over the ground. You carefully avoid thinking about what would happen if you somehow fell off the edge. Halfway across, everything's -

"Be still, elf-kin! The territories of Nirborh are sealed to the barbarians of the lowlands. What business have you trespassing upon the works of the ancient dwarven kings?"

At the far end of the bridge, you see four dwarves leveling crossbows at you while a fifth calls out in a booming voice. You freeze in place.

This could be very bad, depending on how trigger-happy the commander is. Dwarves, for the most part, have no love for men or elves. At the best of times, they trade their crafts and metal with an air of clinical detachment - at the worst of times, they conquer without remorse. The humans have numbers and the elves have wizard-lords, but the dwarves have superior weaponry, ancient magics, and efficient, highly trained legions.

If the commander is a peaceful sort, you might be able to talk your way through this; if he's not, you might be able to avoid the first volley of bolts and escape before they can reload.

Something seemed off about how he spoke, though. He sounded tense, stressed, almost angry. You look closely at the patrol. Your elf eyes see their armor is dented, the paint scraped off in some areas. One seems injured, a bloodstained bandage wrapped tightly around his arm. Their quivers are almost empty, only a couple bolts each.

What do you do?



GEOMETRIST
+1 and +1 to the bridge of Khalad-Tal.
+1 to geometrist
+1 & PTW
GEOMETRIST
Yay! Now I dont have to change my suggestions so we arent just some ole wizard!
+1!

You are a geometrist! Your magic allows you to create powerful runes, perform incredible rituals, and calculate the hypotenuse of a triangle.

Runes are magically charged symbols. You can carve, paint, sculpt, or otherwise write them on practically any object. Runes can be either spirit runes or rift runes. Spirit runes can be used to create the effects of spiritual magic, but have a limited supply of energy. Once they run out of energy, they become inert and must be recreated. Rift runes draw upon the rift to perform mentalist magic, but have a small chance of going inconveniently haywire at a plot-critical time.

The object a rune is inscribed upon determines how strong the rune can be, and often has different strengths for different effects! (For example, stone makes for good warding runes, while silver makes rift runes less likely to explode.) As a general rule of thumb, the more expensive and/or thematically appropriate the material is, the safer/more efficient/stronger/better it is. Similarly, the larger and more inconvenient to create a rune is, the stronger it is.

Rituals are... rituals. It's pretty self-explanatory. By doing a mystic chant/burning a specific type of shrub/tearing out the heart of a small animal while shouting 'ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn' you can cast extremely powerful (and equally specific) spells! Need to summon a rainstorm? There's a ritual for that! Need to bind a demon? There's a ritual for that! Need to destroy a small town? There's a ritual for that! However, rituals take both time and very specific resources. You could try substituting reagents and cutting corners to make the ritual more feasible, but you might not like the effects.

Since no self-respecting mage would leave his/her tower without some mystic shenanigans up their sleeves, you made sure to bring a few spells on the road with you! You have...

- One small silver disc
- Two palm-sized marble tablets
- Three palm-sized wooden tablets
- Five one-use pieces of parchment

What spells do you have engraved/written on them? Use your imagination, but be specific. I reserve the right to veto horrendously overpowered suggestions.

In addition, you have a set of tools that will let you carve certain stones (sandstone, alabaster, soapstone, etc.) and wood, as well as pens and ink to write with.

Spell Rules
-Rift magic cannot be 'still' (no barriers, healing, etc.). It is chaotic and usually destructive, but can also be temporary (for example, opening a door in a wall that warps back to normal once the spell ends). Basically, reality is a suggestion to the rift.
-Healing is limited. You can fully heal minor wounds or stop blood from gushing out of that gaping hole in your chest, but don't expect to be back in the fight immediately.
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #36 on: March 31, 2015, 09:08:18 pm »

"I wish passage through the mountains. Might I earn my way through by dealing with whatever seems to be harassing you?"

Parchment - Creates maps of the local area with a static zoom option for each piece of paper. Topography and terrain is recorded as well.

Wood - Restoration or familiar-summoning, I guess, because wood is life? Other suggestions please.
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flame99

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #37 on: March 31, 2015, 09:19:03 pm »

"I wish passage through the mountains. Might I earn my way through by attempting to aid with whatever seems to be harassing you?"

Parchment - Creates maps of the local area with a static zoom option for each piece of paper. Topography and terrain is recorded as well.
Reworded to seem somewhat more humble. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't need to piss them off any further. +1 to the parchment suggestion.

Wood - A symbol warding against evil and magic, carved into holly (For those not seeing the thematic link, holly wood was seen as being pure and holy)
Marble - A symbol to heal our wounds and ails when activated; not extremely powerful, but enough to pull us from the brink of death, if we have time to use it.

Not sure what to do with the silver.
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Mlamlah

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #38 on: March 31, 2015, 09:42:17 pm »

Perhaps we could subtly put the emphasis on their harassement rather than our need to cross. For example.

"You and your kinsmen are known for your skill in crafts, and yet i see that your equipment has suffered from the wear of battle, something i doubt such a proud folk would tolerate if there wasn't need to stay vigilant. I intended to cross, but perhaps your needs are greater than my own? I would be pleased to offer what help i may, to show my good faith."
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #39 on: March 31, 2015, 09:43:48 pm »

With the silver I'm thinking that maybe we can use it to teleport somewhere on one of our maps? Not exploding would be very useful in that regard.

"I wish passage through the mountains. Might I earn my way through by aiding with whatever seems to be harassing you?"
Reworded to seem somewhat more humble. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't need to piss them off any further.
Reworded to seem somewhat more competent. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't want to seem worthless to them. ;)

EDIT:
Perhaps we could subtly put the emphasis on their harassement rather than our need to cross. For example.

"You and your kinsmen are known for your skill in crafts, and yet i see that your equipment has suffered from the wear of battle, something i doubt such a proud folk would tolerate if there wasn't need to stay vigilant. I intended to cross, but perhaps your needs are greater than my own? I would be pleased to offer what help i may, to show my good faith."
Too verbose. These are dwarves, after all, and on-edge dwarves who probably don't take kindly to deception, at that.
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flame99

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #40 on: March 31, 2015, 09:58:27 pm »

"I wish passage through the mountains. Might I earn my way through by aiding with whatever seems to be harassing you?"
Reworded to seem somewhat more humble. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't need to piss them off any further.
Reworded to seem somewhat more competent. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't want to seem worthless to them. ;)
Keep in mind, we also don't want to seem like we're insulting them by claiming we could do better than them. While that may or may not be true, we don't want them to think we're just some barbarian who's gotten too full of themselves.
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #41 on: March 31, 2015, 10:12:24 pm »

"I wish passage through the mountains. Might I earn my way through by aiding with whatever seems to be harassing you?"
Reworded to seem somewhat more humble. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't need to piss them off any further.
Reworded to seem somewhat more competent. After all, these guys seem trigger-happy, and we don't want to seem worthless to them. ;)
Keep in mind, we also don't want to seem like we're insulting them by claiming we could do better than them. While that may or may not be true, we don't want them to think we're just some barbarian who's gotten too full of themselves.
That's why we're offering to aid them - to help them fix the problem rather than solve it ourselves.
...
We really should've paid attention in Dwarven Culture class.
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Fallatus

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #42 on: April 01, 2015, 02:23:56 am »

Wood tablets:
Animate Wood - Causes the nearest piece(s) of wood, Dead or alive, To temporarily become a wooden golem. Animates anything from twigs and logs to still living trees. can only make golems up to a certain size, Golems usually manifests vaguely as animals (wolfs, Fish, Birds, Humans, Ect).
Purify Water - When placed in water it will cleanse it of impurity's and disease, Effects may wary on highly polluted water. Effects not guaranteed when used on anything other than water.

Marble tablets: Might of Stone - Makes an object as immovable and strong as stone itself.

Parchments:
Impart Wisdom - Allows you to transfer knowledge (something you know) of your choosing to or from a target of your choosing. Knowledge can be memory, experience, wisdom, perspective, intent, ect. N.B. Not powerful enough to transfer a lifetime of knowledge.
Eagle's vision - Gives you the ability to sense your surroundings with great accuracy and detail.
Blessing of Icarus - Forces wings to grow out of your back, Just as painful as it sounds. Number of wings not guaranteed to be in single pairs or feathery, Only functional. Burns off after a while, This is also painful.

Silver disc:
Summon rift - Opens a portal directly to the rift energies, Wrecking havoc on everything around it. Only to be used in dire circumstances or an absolute emergency.
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Andres

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #43 on: April 01, 2015, 03:50:25 am »

Wood tablets:
Animate Wood - Causes the nearest piece(s) of wood, Dead or alive, To temporarily become a wooden golem. Animates anything from twigs and logs to still living trees. can only make golems up to a certain size, Golems usually manifests vaguely as animals (wolfs, Fish, Birds, Humans, Ect).
Purify Water - When placed in water it will cleanse it of impurity's and disease, Effects may wary on highly polluted water. Effects not guaranteed when used on anything other than water.
+1

Marble tablets: Might of Stone - Makes an object as immovable and strong as stone itself.
-1. Stoneskin - Makes a person's skin as strong as stone itself without inhibiting movement.
Not to be used: Stoneflesh - Gives a person the strength and durability of stone but inhibits movement.

Parchments:
Impart Wisdom - Allows you to transfer knowledge (something you know) of your choosing to or from a target of your choosing. Knowledge can be memory, experience, wisdom, perspective, intent, ect. N.B. Not powerful enough to transfer a lifetime of knowledge.
Eagle's vision - Gives you the ability to sense your surroundings with great accuracy and detail.
Blessing of Icarus - Forces wings to grow out of your back, Just as painful as it sounds. Number of wings not guaranteed to be in single pairs or feathery, Only functional. Burns off after a while, This is also painful.
+1. The last two can be used for the maps I mentioned.

Silver disc:
Summon rift - Opens a portal directly to the rift energies, Wrecking havoc on everything around it. Only to be used in dire circumstances or an absolute emergency.
-1. Rift beam - A beam of pure rift energy capable of great destruction in the direction it's pointed in. Care must be taken to make sure the disc is facing the right way. (If someone steals it and uses it against us, there'll be a 50/50 chance they'll kill themselves instead.)
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Araph

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Re: [ISG] Teovanth
« Reply #44 on: April 01, 2015, 11:46:41 am »

Parchment - Creates maps of the local area with a static zoom option for each piece of paper. Topography and terrain is recorded as well.

Wood - Restoration or familiar-summoning, I guess, because wood is life? Other suggestions please.
+1 to the parchment suggestion.
Wood - A symbol warding against evil and magic, carved into holly (For those not seeing the thematic link, holly wood was seen as being pure and holy)
Marble - A symbol to heal our wounds and ails when activated; not extremely powerful, but enough to pull us from the brink of death, if we have time to use it.
With the silver I'm thinking that maybe we can use it to teleport somewhere on one of our maps? Not exploding would be very useful in that regard.
Wood tablets:
Animate Wood - Causes the nearest piece(s) of wood, Dead or alive, To temporarily become a wooden golem. Animates anything from twigs and logs to still living trees. can only make golems up to a certain size, Golems usually manifests vaguely as animals (wolfs, Fish, Birds, Humans, Ect).
Purify Water - When placed in water it will cleanse it of impurity's and disease, Effects may wary on highly polluted water. Effects not guaranteed when used on anything other than water.
+1

Marble tablets: Might of Stone - Makes an object as immovable and strong as stone itself.
-1. Stoneskin - Makes a person's skin as strong as stone itself without inhibiting movement.
Not to be used: Stoneflesh - Gives a person the strength and durability of stone but inhibits movement.

Parchments:
Impart Wisdom - Allows you to transfer knowledge (something you know) of your choosing to or from a target of your choosing. Knowledge can be memory, experience, wisdom, perspective, intent, ect. N.B. Not powerful enough to transfer a lifetime of knowledge.
Eagle's vision - Gives you the ability to sense your surroundings with great accuracy and detail.
Blessing of Icarus - Forces wings to grow out of your back, Just as painful as it sounds. Number of wings not guaranteed to be in single pairs or feathery, Only functional. Burns off after a while, This is also painful.
+1. The last two can be used for the maps I mentioned.

Silver disc:
Summon rift - Opens a portal directly to the rift energies, Wrecking havoc on everything around it. Only to be used in dire circumstances or an absolute emergency.
-1. Rift beam - A beam of pure rift energy capable of great destruction in the direction it's pointed in. Care must be taken to make sure the disc is facing the right way. (If someone steals it and uses it against us, there'll be a 50/50 chance they'll kill themselves instead.)

So far you have:
Silver Disc: Undetermined (Summon Rift, Rift Beam, and Teleport were suggested)
Marble Tablets: Undetermined (Might of Stone and Stoneskin were suggested)
Wood Tablets:
- Animate Wood
- Purify Water
- Undetermined (Warding against evil was suggested)
Parchment:
- Create Local Map
- Impart Wisdom
- Eagle's Vision
- Blessing of Icarus
- Undetermined (possibly a second Create Local Map)

I've only just started drawing the next update, so you still have some time, but it'd be great if someone could cast a deciding vote (or suggest another option) for the silver disc, marble tablets, the last wood tablet, and the last piece of parchment. Otherwise there'll be one marble tablet of Stoneskin, one of Might of Stone, and I'll choose the others out of the suggestions.
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