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Author Topic: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - Revenge of the meta  (Read 46394 times)

Nunzillor

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #30 on: March 26, 2015, 10:59:33 pm »

CRAM PINEAPPLE DOWN HEAD ORIFICE
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #31 on: March 26, 2015, 11:11:41 pm »

Found The Church of Paul and defend him from the heretics!

Aslandus

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2015, 11:14:11 pm »

Worship Paul and inspire others to do the same.
[3] You create the Church of Paul and convince some people to join, but others are skeptical. Paul doesn't notice because he's so huge, but he would probably be happy with having more friends.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ponder why the GM said the game ended when it clearly hasn't while worshipping our great lord and savior Paul
[3] You successfully ponder about it and come to the conclusion that it was one of three things:
1) We're in an alternate timeline where the nuke wasn't blown up/we reloaded a save without the nuke
2) The nuke did go off and we're all now having the same dying dream in our final moments, which seem to be stretching on
3) The GM doesn't want the game to end but also doesn't want to tell people they can't do things, so willfully ignores technicalities like "the game ending" or "Paul being dead" if the dice decide not to cooperate by failing actions that would be potentially game-ending
Alas, you cannot come to a solid conclusion on which is correct, or maybe all three are correct somehow, or maybe no definite answer exists, but you're sure some sort of answer exists.

Worship Paul and inspire others to do the same.
Assist in this man's efforts by constructing an evil fortress a temple or similar place of worship.
[3] It's not very big, but it serves it's purpose. Paul has taken notice of the Church of Paul now, and seems very pleased.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

One of the macdaddys of minimalist RTDs. It was glorious, yet cataclysmic.
Also I'm too busy for one right now and I don't really wanna.
Thanks

NOW USE MY REAL ESTATE KNOWLAGE TO SELL THE GIANT PINEAPPLE AS A HOUSE FOR MILLIONS FOR A CERTAIN YELLOW VERY POPULAR CARTOON SPONGE
[1] You accidentally sell Spongefred a regular house next to Paul. They become friends. Spongefred's boss doesn't pay him much, so you only get two buttons and a quarter for your trouble.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

CRAM PINEAPPLE DOWN HEAD ORIFICE
[2] You can't manage to get past the foul smell to eat giant Paul. On the bright side, you think that pizza has cooled down a little now.

Found The Church of Paul and defend him from the heretics!
[1] The Church of Paul already exists and they don't like you trying to steal their brand. Still, they can't deny more people defending their lord and savior Paul the Pineapple from people trying to eat him and/or sell him to sponges as housing. Paul also sneezes on you, covering you in acidic pineapple goo. It kinda burns. Ow.

Lyeos

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2015, 11:24:28 pm »

Build a factory that produces - through mysterious and vaguely explained means - mechanical Inquisitors followers for Paul, whose sole purpose is to purge the heretics spread awareness of his glory.
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Take a closer look at this text!

poketwo

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2015, 11:53:40 pm »

OK, SELL PAUL THE PINEAPPLE AS A NEW BASE ABOVEGROUND FOR XANTALOS YDTH-KLVAK(SEARCH ELDRITCH THEME SONG)
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Yoink

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #35 on: March 27, 2015, 02:12:21 am »

Build myself a house next to Paul, so that I might bask in His divine joy.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Generally me

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #36 on: March 27, 2015, 02:46:50 am »

become one with paul
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Sl4cker

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #37 on: March 27, 2015, 03:34:09 am »

Calmly and politely ask Paul to take a bath, as he is stinking up the place and the high pope of Paulism is coming today
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Quote from: Empiricist
I mean no one wants dead whales and abortion clinics juxtaposed with each other, but it's just something that happens! Like false vacuum decay!
carrot cakeu

Andres

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #38 on: March 27, 2015, 04:39:21 am »

Use my psychic powers to turn Paul into the God-Emperor of Pineapplekind because I really want to see a pineapple that kinda looks like Jesus in ludicrously ornate gold armour.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

blazing glory

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #39 on: March 27, 2015, 04:49:45 am »

Shove Paul.
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4maskwolf

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #40 on: March 27, 2015, 08:07:50 am »

Worship and praise the great Paul to grant him godlike powers

The Froggy Ninja

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #41 on: March 27, 2015, 08:46:48 am »

Build a wall around our lord and savior Paul.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 10:04:18 am by The Froggy Ninja »
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Ardent Debater

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #42 on: March 27, 2015, 09:49:52 am »

Start a Bananna Cult to fight the Pineapple Cultists!
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Aslandus

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #43 on: March 27, 2015, 10:32:29 am »

Build a factory that produces - through mysterious and vaguely explained means - mechanical Inquisitors followers for Paul, whose sole purpose is to purge the heretics spread awareness of his glory.
[5] You forge a mighty manufactory which builds robots/templars that hunt down and eliminate those who would hurt the mighty Paul.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

OK, SELL PAUL THE PINEAPPLE AS A NEW BASE ABOVEGROUND FOR XANTALOS YDTH-KLVAK(SEARCH ELDRITCH THEME SONG)
[2] You can't get a contract with those eldritch horrors, for some reason they don't want to make pacts with mortals anymore, something about being double-crossed too many times...

Build myself a house next to Paul, so that I might bask in His divine joy.
[3] Well, in a loose definition of "house" you have a house next to him... though it looks more like a hollow pile of sticks...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

become one with paul
[4] You give Paul a big hug and are absorbed into his essence. The acidic pineapple juice dissolves your body and your mind merges with Paul's. He's happy to be closer to you
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Calmly and politely ask Paul to take a bath, as he is stinking up the place and the high pope of Paulism is coming today
[1] You are unable to ask Paul to take a bath, in fact when you get close a bunch of stink gets onto you, and now everyone thinks your the one that's stinking up the place.

Use my psychic powers to turn Paul into the God-Emperor of Pineapplekind because I really want to see a pineapple that kinda looks like Jesus in ludicrously ornate gold armour.
[3] Well, you get him in a romanesque costume at least...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shove Paul.
[2] His immense size intimidates you and you decide not to shove him like a big jerk.

Worship and praise the great Paul to grant him godlike powers
[3] Praise be to Paul, and his average giant pineapple powers!

Build a wall around our lord and savior Paul.
[4] You build that wall and build it strong. If anyone wants to get at him they'll have to get through there to do it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Start a Bananna Cult to fight the Pineapple Cultists!
[1] Why would anyone worship bananas? That's just silly, everyone is laughing at your silliness. Right, Paul the Pineapple?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nidilap

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Re: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD
« Reply #44 on: March 27, 2015, 10:59:45 am »

Hire Apples to protect Paul.
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.
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