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[Aslandus]

Russians: Get Bears to Ride!
gravekeepers: Salmon me in Again!
Cultists: Get an actual Orb of Stalwart!
I: Cheerfully Grab up Suicidal and otherwise depressed people!

Get bears: [1] Seems the bears got them instead... Luckily, several of them are experienced enough in bear-wrangling to know when to run away. (-50 russian cultists)
Salmoning!: [5] They summon something that looks sort of like you from the aquasphere. In fact, it seems like it's almost as competent as you... You quietly hope your cult doesn't decide to make it the new faction lord and abandon you... (summoned Thun Carpa)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Thun Carpa

Abilities:
Twist life: turns dead things into undead monsters
Expunge: turns innards to outards
Go away: makes things run away from it
Fish: takes damage if not in water

Appearance: a carp covered in oily black scales with a mouth full of shark teeth and three red eyes
Homeworld: a reef on the aquatic world where the sun never shines, forcing the fish to turn to necromancy to keep the nutrient cycle alive

Skills:
Presence: 0
Mindlock: 1
Power: 2
Physique: 0
Appeal: 0

Orb: [1] They wander off and never come back (-25 cultists)
Recruit: [3] You convince a few suicidally depressed people that dying for you is dying for good. The believe you, for some reason. (+25 suicidal cultists)

Vol-Kriit+50 cultists:recruit
80 cultists in base:build an entrance
50 cultists:bring orb of stalwart 4 back to base
50 cultists:find dragons blood

Recruit: [2] You get a bunch of nothing to join you. Your cultists are not very impressed.
Entrance: [6] They tear a big hole in the front of the base. A bunch of rubble falls on some of the cultists, so you tell them to go home, writing them off as a loss. (-40 cultists, base no longer locked)
Haul it back: [6] They bring the orb back to the base through sheer effort. Some of them don't like the backbreaking work and refuse to help any more. (-25 cultists, Orb of Stalwart 4 acquired)
Find dragon blood: [3] They find a bit of dragon blood, but the area seems to have run dry of the stuff. They'll have to search elsewhere next time. (partially gathered dragon blood)

Archon, advised by disaster averter 1: recruit.
1 cultist, advised over the phone by leader 1 and disaster averter 2: Tell Happy that we're not such bad people.
5 beasts: find an orb of storms.
5 hecklers: Follow in the footsteps of our esper and get psychic powers.
5 hecklers: REPEAT THE SALMONING.

Recruit: [2] You don't manage to get anyone to help you, even with your manager helping
Diplomacy: [6] HEY THERE KIDDO! WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU EAR? (-1 cultist)
Orb of Storms: [2] They find nothing but air and disappointment.
Psychic: [1] They try to become psychics and fail. They quit the cult in shame. (-5 hecklers)
Salmoning: [1] They pry open a rift and get sucked in. You never hear from them again. (-5 hecklers)

Happy the clown: Recruit
[4] Happy does a silly dance and people flock to watch. Then they get sucked into the rhythm. (Happy gains 75 cultists)

5 cultists: Destroy the OoS we just used.
Govt. Cultists: Recruit more govt. cultists.
Marksmen: Find a secure area in backwoods Virginia we can build a new base on.
All else plus Hon: Recruit.

Destroy orb: [5] The orb shatters and the pieces float off into the wind. The unsummoned horrors feel their hold on the planet grow weaker, and if the rest of the orbs are destroyed before they get summoned, they'll lose the ability to be summoned. (Orb of Stalwart 1 destroyed)
Recruit: [3] Your government workers manage to get another statesman on their side, and you and your cult get more people to help you. The state you got the support of is Florida, so maybe this "Florida man" you've heard so much about will help you. (gained support of Florida, +45 cultists)
New base: [1] They wander off and get eaten by mountain lions. At least that's what the letter that the party sent said, but it was written on the back of a postcard from Hawaii, so you think they might be lying. (-20 marksmen)

[Dustan Hache]

Leader 1 and 20 cultists: defend the orb, and speedoman from attack.
Leader 2 and 30: discover the fate of saragon. attempt to find a resurrection ritual so that he can apologize for leader 4.
leader 3 and 50 cultists: practice craftsmanship so that we can make nice things for the community, and armor for ourselves.
Leader 4 and all marksman: help defend speedoman, but also get some care for those bad backs.
Leader 5, banana hammock, and remaining cultists: continue searching for cults who have not summoned their horrors as of yet. the favor potential is well worth it!

[FallacyofUrist]

100 scholar cultists: Use logical arguments to convince the dudes who stole Orb of Stalwart 3 to give it back to us.
Quarken: Recruit more scholars to join your cult!

[Aslandus]

Leader 1 and 20 cultists: defend the orb, and speedoman from attack.
Leader 2 and 30: discover the fate of saragon. attempt to find a resurrection ritual so that he can apologize for leader 4.
leader 3 and 50 cultists: practice craftsmanship so that we can make nice things for the community, and armor for ourselves.
Leader 4 and all marksman: help defend speedoman, but also get some care for those bad backs.
Leader 5, banana hammock, and remaining cultists: continue searching for cults who have not summoned their horrors as of yet. the favor potential is well worth it!

Guard: [6] They get to work and guard so hard that you and the Orb aren't able to do anything until their guard shifts end. Leader 1 seems to be encouraging them. (20 cultists guarding, Speedo and Orb of Stalwart locked down, Leader 1 paranoid [50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard rolls])
Investigate: [6] They find the corpse, or more precisely the pile of needles stacked up. The bullets seem to have broken a chord inside the spire which caused the entire thing to collapse into a big heap. They could probably repair the chord, but whatever spark kept Saragon alive is gone. The cultists catch a nasty disease from rooting through the needles, Leader 2 estimates they'll be dead in 5 turns without treatment. (30 cultists catch Mercury plague [5])
Craft: [1] They end up cutting their hands up on their tools. Ouch, those are gonna need some stitches. Leader 3  (50 cultists injured)
Chiropractor: [1] Their backs get broken! Leader 4 sends them home and tells them not to come back until they feel better... If they feel better... (-50 marksmen)
Search: [1] They refuse to leave and end up trolling the web for a few hours. Seems your cult has become less popular overnight because of them. (PR down)

100 scholar cultists: Use logical arguments to convince the dudes who stole Orb of Stalwart 3 to give it back to us.
Quarken: Recruit more scholars to join your cult!

LOGIC!: [6] They speak of all the reasons it makes sense for the Orb of Stalwart 3 to be in your possession instead of BOF's, but accidentally let it slip that you plan to destroy it as you use it. They definitely aren't going to let you have it now. (Cannot Logic OoS3 anymore, relationship with BOF worsened)
Recruit: [1] You seem to have offended them. Apparently these people don't think widespread destruction via explosives is as awesome as you do. (+25 scholarly inquisitors)

[Dustan Hache]

Leader 1 and 20 cultists: defend the orb, and speedoman from attack.
Leader 2 and 30: discover the fate of saragon. attempt to find a resurrection ritual so that he can apologize for leader 4.
leader 3 and 50 cultists: practice craftsmanship so that we can make nice things for the community, and armor for ourselves.
Leader 4 and all marksman: help defend speedoman, but also get some care for those bad backs.
Leader 5, banana hammock, and remaining cultists: continue searching for cults who have not summoned their horrors as of yet. the favor potential is well worth it!

Guard: [6] They get to work and guard so hard that you and the Orb aren't able to do anything until their guard shifts end. Leader 1 seems to be encouraging them. (20 cultists guarding, Speedo and Orb of Stalwart locked down, Leader 1 paranoid [50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard rolls])
Investigate: [6] They find the corpse, or more precisely the pile of needles stacked up. The bullets seem to have broken a chord inside the spire which caused the entire thing to collapse into a big heap. They could probably repair the chord, but whatever spark kept Saragon alive is gone. The cultists catch a nasty disease from rooting through the needles, Leader 2 estimates they'll be dead in 5 turns without treatment. (30 cultists catch Mercury plague [5])
Craft: [1] They end up cutting their hands up on their tools. Ouch, those are gonna need some stitches. Leader 3  (50 cultists injured)
Chiropractor: [1] Their backs get broken! Leader 4 sends them home and tells them not to come back until they feel better... If they feel better... (-50 marksmen)
Search: [1] They refuse to leave and end up trolling the web for a few hours. Seems your cult has become less popular overnight because of them. (PR down)

(I said find a resurrection ritual, not investigate the corpse! Also, what the hell are you using for these rolls? there's no conceiveable way I could get 2 6s in a row, followed by 3 1s in a row!)

[Aslandus]

Leader 1 and 20 cultists: defend the orb, and speedoman from attack.
Leader 2 and 30: discover the fate of saragon. attempt to find a resurrection ritual so that he can apologize for leader 4.
leader 3 and 50 cultists: practice craftsmanship so that we can make nice things for the community, and armor for ourselves.
Leader 4 and all marksman: help defend speedoman, but also get some care for those bad backs.
Leader 5, banana hammock, and remaining cultists: continue searching for cults who have not summoned their horrors as of yet. the favor potential is well worth it!

Guard: [6] They get to work and guard so hard that you and the Orb aren't able to do anything until their guard shifts end. Leader 1 seems to be encouraging them. (20 cultists guarding, Speedo and Orb of Stalwart locked down, Leader 1 paranoid [50% chance of turning 5 into 6 on guard rolls])
Investigate: [6] They find the corpse, or more precisely the pile of needles stacked up. The bullets seem to have broken a chord inside the spire which caused the entire thing to collapse into a big heap. They could probably repair the chord, but whatever spark kept Saragon alive is gone. The cultists catch a nasty disease from rooting through the needles, Leader 2 estimates they'll be dead in 5 turns without treatment. (30 cultists catch Mercury plague [5])
Craft: [1] They end up cutting their hands up on their tools. Ouch, those are gonna need some stitches. Leader 3  (50 cultists injured)
Chiropractor: [1] Their backs get broken! Leader 4 sends them home and tells them not to come back until they feel better... If they feel better... (-50 marksmen)
Search: [1] They refuse to leave and end up trolling the web for a few hours. Seems your cult has become less popular overnight because of them. (PR down)

(I said find a resurrection ritual, not investigate the corpse! Also, what the hell are you using for these rolls? there's no conceiveable way I could get 2 6s in a row, followed by 3 1s in a row!)

Random number generator on my phone, it can seem a bit fiddly but RNG is like that sometimes... I actually rolled a few more numbers afterward to make sure the thing wasn't broken, and it rolled a 4, 5, and 2, so you just got unlucky, like how Volkriit critically failed on recruiting four turns in a row.

Also you gave multiple commands at once, so I just went with the first thing. Then immediately made a hypocrite of myself by using the second command 2 lines later, but that was more so it would be a separate roll instead of just shoving them into the guard group. There's a method to the madness, but it's still madness all the same. Be more specific in the future if you want specific outcomes.

[SaberToothTiger]

I don't have a status no more

Me: Recruit.
Kult: Get Orb 4. out of the ground and into the base.

[fillipk]

B.O.F. + Eco cultists improve our PR especially in the environmental area.

Everyone else get dragon blood and try not to die.

[Aslandus]

I don't have a status no more

Me: Recruit.
Kult: Get Orb 4. out of the ground and into the base.

((Yeah, kinda using those to keep track of who I've already recorded while making the scorecard, and who missed the turn...))
Recruit: [1] You try to impress people with your divine majesty, but end up starting a witch hunt instead. Whoops. (+25 inquisitors)
Orb 4: [6] It's not in the ground, but your cultists track it down and steal it from Volk's base. Nobody is actively guarding, but a few thrown rocks from the cultists nearby find their mark and not all your cultists make it back. (-100 cultists, acquired Orb of Stalwart 4)

B.O.F. + Eco cultists improve our PR especially in the environmental area.

Everyone else get dragon blood and try not to die.

PR: [3] You and your cult work to improve relations with the world and spread word of your abilities. You don't get much following, but at least those who see the presentations come away with a good opinion. (PR up slightly)
Dragonblood: [3] They dig out some dragon blood, finding just enough to fill their bottles, but not enough for a ritual. Should've brought more bottles. (partially gathered dragon blood)

Inquisitors: Destroy Orb of Stalwart 3 while it's unguarded!
[4] They rush your stockpile and shove the orb off a hill and onto a rock, and it shatters to dust. Your cult gets back just in time to chase them away, even knocking out a few of them, but you feel your grip on the Earth growing more tenuous. (-25 inquisitors, Orb of Stalwart 3 destroyed)

[FallacyofUrist]

((I don't often nitpick(actually, I really don't), but a 6 is an overshoot, not an epic fail.))

[Aslandus]

((I don't often nitpick(actually, I really don't), but a 6 is an overshoot, not an epic fail.))

((I know, but the results of overshoots tend to vary depending on what an "overshoot" would entail for the action. It's usually supposed to be bad in RTD terms, but for common actions like attacking and recruiting I tend to be more merciful and give a positive outcome along with the negative. In your case, an epic fail would have been your cultists insulting BOF's mother instead of using any real argument and getting clubbed to death, or something along those lines, so a little diplomatic hit isn't so bad.))

[Sl4cker]

Me: Oh look, a little eldritch fishie. Hook it and roast it.
All warriors: Host a party at the parasite's place! A murder party.
150: Just raise our PR.
120: Recruit more.
120: Reason with our inquisitors. We are not going to be doing anything to Earth after all the other horrors are roasted and eaten. I'm practically the good guy in this situation!

[Aslandus]

Me: Oh look, a little eldritch fishie. Hook it and roast it.
All warriors: Host a party at the parasite's place! A murder party.
150: Just raise our PR.
120: Recruit more.
120: Reason with our inquisitors. We are not going to be doing anything to Earth after all the other horrors are roasted and eaten. I'm practically the good guy in this situation!

Fishie fishie: [6] You hook Count Trout and give him a boot to the head. You miss on the first kick and sprain your ankle, but hit him with the second strike. (Count Trout heavily injured, Fisherman moderately injured)
MUDER PARTY FUN TIME: [1] They get caught in he acid bog and many of them aren't able to escape. (-75 warriors)
PR: [2] They spend the day staring at the water instead.
Recruit: [5] They find additional people to assist your cause. (+240 cultists)
reason: [4] They convince the Inquisitors that you're not actually evil and most of them leave you alone. (-60 inquisitors)

[Humaan]

Seed: Absorb Biomass from now-covered forest.
Daragon: Use some biomass to make a Biomass-generator so the Seed doesn't starve itself after the forest runs out of biomass to eat.

[Aslandus]

Seed: Absorb Biomass from now-covered forest.
Daragon: Use some biomass to make a Biomass-generator so the Seed doesn't starve itself after the forest runs out of biomass to eat.

EAT: [6] The seed absorbs a bunch of mass around it, unfortunately you were a little too close so part of your mass is now in the seedling. (seed 1 now only slightly hungry, Daragon moderately wounded)
MAKE FOOD: [5] You use some of your biomass to make photosynthetic leaves on your vines. Now you'll gain satiation each turn as long as you can see the sun, and the leaves aren't chopped or burned off and you can grow food to feed your little seedlings. (Gained leaves [reduce hunger passively])
Regenerate: [3] Your vines fill in some of the gaping holes in your body and harden until the wound is nearly healed, but there are a few gaps left open. (Now lightly wounded) ((Sorry, I keep forgetting you can regenerate))