Russians: Get Bears to Ride!
gravekeepers: Salmon me in Again!
Cultists: Get an actual Orb of Stalwart!
I: Cheerfully Grab up Suicidal and otherwise depressed people!
Get bears: [1] Seems the bears got them instead... Luckily, several of them are experienced enough in bear-wrangling to know when to run away. (-50 russian cultists)
Salmoning!: [5] They summon something that looks sort of like you from the aquasphere. In fact, it seems like it's almost as competent as you... You quietly hope your cult doesn't decide to make it the new faction lord and abandon you... (summoned Thun Carpa)
Name: Thun Carpa
Abilities:
Twist life: turns dead things into undead monsters
Expunge: turns innards to outards
Go away: makes things run away from it
Fish: takes damage if not in water
Appearance: a carp covered in oily black scales with a mouth full of shark teeth and three red eyes
Homeworld: a reef on the aquatic world where the sun never shines, forcing the fish to turn to necromancy to keep the nutrient cycle alive
Skills:
Presence: 0
Mindlock: 1
Power: 2
Physique: 0
Appeal: 0
Orb: [1] They wander off and never come back (-25 cultists)
Recruit: [3] You convince a few suicidally depressed people that dying for you is dying for good. The believe you, for some reason. (+25 suicidal cultists)
Vol-Kriit+50 cultists:recruit
80 cultists in base:build an entrance
50 cultists:bring orb of stalwart 4 back to base
50 cultists:find dragons blood
Recruit: [2] You get a bunch of nothing to join you. Your cultists are not very impressed.
Entrance: [6] They tear a big hole in the front of the base. A bunch of rubble falls on some of the cultists, so you tell them to go home, writing them off as a loss. (-40 cultists, base no longer locked)
Haul it back: [6] They bring the orb back to the base through sheer effort. Some of them don't like the backbreaking work and refuse to help any more. (-25 cultists, Orb of Stalwart 4 acquired)
Find dragon blood: [3] They find a bit of dragon blood, but the area seems to have run dry of the stuff. They'll have to search elsewhere next time. (partially gathered dragon blood)
Archon, advised by disaster averter 1: recruit.
1 cultist, advised over the phone by leader 1 and disaster averter 2: Tell Happy that we're not such bad people.
5 beasts: find an orb of storms.
5 hecklers: Follow in the footsteps of our esper and get psychic powers.
5 hecklers: REPEAT THE SALMONING.
Recruit: [2] You don't manage to get anyone to help you, even with your manager helping
Diplomacy: [6]
HEY THERE KIDDO! WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU EAR? (-1 cultist)
Orb of Storms: [2] They find nothing but air and disappointment.
Psychic: [1] They try to become psychics and fail. They quit the cult in shame. (-5 hecklers)
Salmoning: [1] They pry open a rift and get sucked in. You never hear from them again. (-5 hecklers)
Happy the clown: Recruit
[4] Happy does a silly dance and people flock to watch. Then they get sucked into the rhythm. (Happy gains 75 cultists)
5 cultists: Destroy the OoS we just used.
Govt. Cultists: Recruit more govt. cultists.
Marksmen: Find a secure area in backwoods Virginia we can build a new base on.
All else plus Hon: Recruit.
Destroy orb: [5] The orb shatters and the pieces float off into the wind. The unsummoned horrors feel their hold on the planet grow weaker, and if the rest of the orbs are destroyed before they get summoned, they'll lose the ability to be summoned. (Orb of Stalwart 1 destroyed)
Recruit: [3] Your government workers manage to get another statesman on their side, and you and your cult get more people to help you. The state you got the support of is Florida, so maybe this "Florida man" you've heard so much about will help you. (gained support of Florida, +45 cultists)
New base: [1] They wander off and get eaten by mountain lions. At least that's what the letter that the party sent said, but it was written on the back of a postcard from Hawaii, so you think they might be lying. (-20 marksmen)