Me: give morale-boosting speech to my cultists, compliment their loyalty to me.
200 normal cultists: recruit more people to join my cult.
160 normal cultists, 100 trained cultists: guard me from enemies.
8 high places cultists, 10 wealthy cultists: begin a campaign to become the next american president(choose one of the high places cultists for this, another for vice president). Focus on beating Rabe's campaign and damaging their PR in the process.
Journalist minions: Aid in the campaign, damage Rabe's PR in the process! I want humanity to detest Rabe! Detest!
All hallucinating cultists: work it off.
10 other wealthy cultists: fund Rabe's inquisitors, activate them if not already activated!
10 infiltrator cultists: find weak points in Rabe's base!
Puff Puff: devise a powder that causes a human inflicted with it to become hostile to all sentient beings. If successful, apply to Rabe's heavily armed cultists.
Weren't you in Russia? No wait, I'm getting you confused with Koshu again...
Speech: [6] You come out of hiding to give a rousing speech to your followers. Most of them can't understand a word you say, but they love the enthusiasm! (cultists excited, no longer hiding)
recruit: [3] They get some people to join you. Not as many as you wanted, but better than you had before. (+100 cultists)
guard: [1] They decide they don't want to die for you today and some of them even quit. Jeez, for cultists they're really loose on their commitment to the cause. (-80 cultists)
Campaign: [1] Your cultists spelled "running" wrong and now everyone thinks you're planning to kill the president. (now hated by humanity)
Libel: [4] They make Rabe look like a huge jerkface, pointing out his lack of safety protocols for their dangerous equipment and his links to the nefarious TROG and CARP. (Rabe now has mixed PR)
Work it: [5] They sprint around until they sweat the dust off. Actually they were running from flaming hyenas, but it has the same effect. (no longer hallucinating)
Inquisitorial aid: [3] They send a letter to the inquisitors telling them that Rabe's planning something. (Rabe's inquisitors activated)
Subterfuge: [3] The sneaky bastards find the switch to open the front gates to Rabe's base. You'll still have to fight guards, but you shouldn't have to smash your face against a concrete wall if they help. (can open gate to Rabe's base)
Puff puff: [6] Puff puff doesn't understand what you are asking and just floats over to spread hallucinogen onto Rabe's cultists. He gets dispersed by the old man. (Puff puff dispersed, old cultist hallucinating)
Inquisitors: Hit him while he's exposed!
[1] Bluh, fighting is getting stale. A bunch of the inquisitors leave before the battle begins and the rest don't bother to go (-50 inquisitors).
Edited!
500 cultists: Research and build anti-cloud weaponry.
400 heavily armed cultists: Attack Unescargot, ask the inquisitors for directions if you can't find him(don't attack his cultists unless they attack you, we want to recrute them.)
100 heavily armed cultists: Train then help guard the base when you're done.
200 cultists and all of the hallucinating ones(exsept for 10 of the non contagious ones): Go work for the carp, at least stop his whining.
10 non contagious hallucinating cultists: speak loudly at puff-puff.
100 cultists: Ask misatonic university to inspect the book I sent them then ask the 100 specified cultists to get materials.
200 cultists: RECROOO... no, as much as I would like to find out what happens above 3000 I shant risk it (it would be out of character). Get dragons blood instead.
the rest and me: recrute Unescargot's cultists away from him.(I won't go there in person, I'm not that stupid)
Anticloud wepins: [1] They look up clouds and determine that the best weapons to use against them are humidifiers. The less stupid cultists tell you that would probably just make the clouds bigger and more rain-y. (humidifiers gained)
Attack: [5] They notice Unescargot is walking around amongst his cultists shouting some nonsense in an eldritch tongue, and then the cultists disperse to carry out orders. Your heavily armed troops ambush him and blast him with their explosives and guns until he is bleeding from every hole in his body. He bleeds water ,it appears. They leave him for dead instead of administering a finishing blow. (Unescargot mortally wounded)
Train: [4] They practice using their rocket launchers and heavy machine guns for a few hours until they can hit things fairly reliably. This uses the entire turn and they are too tired to take watch. (100 heavily armed cultists now trained)
help CARP: [2] They don't want to. They think you need to learn to deal with his whining instead of just placating him.
Yell at puff puff: [5] They tell puff puff to go elsewhere. Puff puff, being dissipated, doesn't react in any way except by floating back to Unescargot's base in a faint cloud of dust. (Puff puff base at Unescargot's base)
Research: [3] The university investigates the ritual and tells your cultists which items to get to prepare it. The message gets delayed though, so your cultists don't get the stuff. (M. Univ. knows power swap ritual, your cultists are still lazy schlubs)
Dragon blood: [5] They find a bunch of dragon blood, enough to kill an army. (acquired dragon blood, 100 cultists become assassins)
Stealin' cultists(I think that's 600 or so cultists): [5] Since you are too scurred to go there yourself, and you can't break his mindlock, you don't really contribute anything. However, your cultists manage to bribe, seduce, and/or kidnap many of Unescargot's cultists. (steal 300 cultists from Unescargot)
Inquisitors: Set up your own base, and make it much cooler than Rabe's shitty bunker!
[5] They set up an ornate mansion with a fountain in the front and a hedge of thorn bushes around the perimeter. You're super jealous of their snazzy base. (Inquisitors have ornate mansion base)
i remembered a quote "a predictable enemy is second best to a reliable ally" paraphrased from sam starfall of the free fall comic
Me: I've run out of ideas so just RECRUIT RECRUIT RECRUIT
any recruited cultists: say i dunno... koshu is my ally subtly remind humanity he has lots of easily sabotage-able rocket parts say something like "i allied with koshu please don't sabotage his rocket parts (between you and me those deliveries don'y look very secure)
i'm really good at convincing people that i'm dumb 
Recruit: [2] The dice god has deemed that you will not now nor shall you ever have any followers. Perhaps you should just go on psi-net yourself and start trash talking everyone, it would probably be more effective than what you're doing now.
Hint-hint, nudge-nudge: [irrelevant] They don't get the message out because nobody is helping you. You know in your heart that it wouldn't matter anyway, humanity thinks Koshu is a pretty alright guy.
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Topic: RTD horrors (Read 232368 times)