The first of the Minor Deities was made manifest 5,000 years ago. When the Goddess of Destruction, Ori, had a son with Darus, God of Earth.
Darus insisted the child's name be Durus, and he became the first of the Minor Gods. Mortals to this day are still in debate over whether Durus is actually just a misspelling of Darus. In any case, he became the God of Land Battles.
The second Minor God did not come about until nearly 2,500 years later, when Enthros, God of Seas, and Juno, Goddess of Balance, had a child named Yu. The exact gender of Yu is unknown, as its form shifts between a chaotic turmoil of boiling water, and a humanoid form of the stillest spring water, with small river fish swimming through the deity's body. They became the Deity of Hurricanes and Calm Waters.
Nearly 2,000 years later, a mere 643 years ago, Juno again had a child, this time with Althax, God of Skies. A God with a large beak instead of a mouth, and a feathered body, he became the God of Winged Creatures. Nobody is exactly sure of the god's name, as everything he says sounds like wild bird calls.
555 years ago, Ori and Darus again had a son, giving Durus a brother in the form of Turon, God of Earthquakes.
222 years after the birth of Turon, Ori had another son, this time with Althax. The God of Sparks, Inforny, had been born as a twisting mass of flames.
4 years after the birth of Inforny, Darus and Juno had a son named Tieríco, and he became the God of Politics.
175 years ago, Juno had another child, again with Althax, this time a girl. The first Goddess to be born because the Goddess of Breakfast, Emer, sister to the God of Winged Creatures.
54 years after that, Tieríco was given a brother in the form of Porcinius, God of Pigs and Wallowing and Cloven Creatures. A stark contrast to the God of Politics, indeed.
Another 52 years past, and Enya, Goddess of Creation, had her first son with Darus. He was Dave David Davidson XXI, the God of Golems. Mortal scholars have had many bloody conflicts over the name of this God, insisting that there is no possible way a God would have such a silly name. If only they knew.
33 years later, Enya gave birth to Dave's sister, Samina, Goddess of Medicinal Herbs.
A paltry 9 years ago, Althax and Ori had another son, creating Inforny's brother, Torphus The Stormbringer, God of Lightning.
And the youngest of the gods, and a pitiful 4 years old, born of Enthros and Ori, was Cortza, God of Booze.
Mortal scholars take interest in the fact that the Goddess of Creation actually created the fewest of the Minor Gods, and was also the only one to stay faithful to a single partner.
Seated at the circular marble table that lay in the center of the grotto, Porcinius, the Winged God, and Dave David Davidson XXI were engaged in a strategic board game, using multitudes of pigs, birds, and golems as board pieces.
Porcinius' brother Tieríco offered him strategic advice, Emer interpreted her brother's wild calls to the rest, so they could understand him, and Samina kept track of her brother's units' statistics.
Durus and Turon sat on the sidelines, complaining over the poor strategic decisions of the others, while being fed alcoholic beverages by Cortza, who was yelling at Yu for knocking over some wine glasses.
Suddenly, Inforny kicked open the front door, dislodging it from one of the hinges, and leaving it barely hanging in place.
"Torphus' Hammer has gone missing!"
Torphus The Stormbringer then kicked the mangled door, sending it flying from the frame, over Inforny's head, and sliding across the floor until it slammed into the marble table, sending birds, pigs, and small golems flying in every direction, before walking into the room and letting out a blood-curdling roar of rage!
You are all standing in the grotto.
The front door has been utterly destroyed.
There are broken wine glasses on the floor.
Wild animals and golems are everywhere.
Torphus' hammer is missing.
What do you do?