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[Mathel]

Granted. You now own a XX Blue Asbestos Shirt XX.

I wish to have a TARDIS.

[hops]

Granted. Its interior is infinite and you fall into the void, lost forever.

I wish for a can of tuna.

[KittyTac]

Granted. You get a can of tuna that is flying at 1 km/s into your head. Your head explodes from the collision.

I wish for a stationary can of tuna.

[Rose]

Granted, you get a decorative tuna-can paperweight. It contains no actual tuna.

I wish for a lasagna.

[hops]

Granted. Garfielf steals your lasaga and vores your house.

I wish for a tuna of can.

[King Zultan]

Granted, the can of tuna has been teleported to you, but the teleportation process messed up and the can was placed inside your head, you now have major brain damage.

I wish for tuna to not exist.

[Dunamisdeos]

No longer able to differentiate between tuna and the human brain, wish genie simply removes both from existence.

I wish for my brain back, sans-tuna.

[Mathel]

Granted. You now have a brain containing an empty can.

I wish for a can of Rumpelstilskins brain to appear on my table.

[CABL]

Granted. You get a can of Rumpelstilskin's brain in it. Two years later, one of your neighbors, who believes in a conspiracy that Rumpelstilskin was involved in JFK assassination, decides to steal the brain in the can and burn it. You have never learned who stole the brain, or its potential location.

I wish someone could rip my manboobs off without any of my other body parts suffering from it. I also want to survive the pain shock.

[KittyTac]

Granted. The manboobs are chainsawed off. You die from blood loss.

I wish for a kitten.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. Turns out it's actually a tiger cub. Later that afternoon, the mother uses a claw to scrape your flesh from between her teeth.

I wish to be on top of the world!

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. The rest frame of the universe is reoriented so that your position is the objective topmost in the entire world at all times. It is impossible to observe this change scientifically, except by very subtle evidence of violations of relativity.

I wish that I didn't have to sleep, but could if I wanted to with no harmful effects.

[Arcvasti]

Granted. As a side effect, you start dreaming about things while still awake. Not knowing what's real and what's imaginary, you go mad.

I wish that I had the ability to turn things into any type of cheese I wanted.

[King Zultan]

Granted, now everything you touch turns in to any type of cheese you desire, this ability can't be turned off.

I wish it would rain potatoes.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but only at your very location. You die under a hail of tubers

I wish to be the Wishmaster!