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[Comrade P.]

((Hey, you rolled 1 on update frequency, remember?))
Granted.

I wish for Avis-Mergulus to update Trailblazers.

[jaxy15]

Granted. He updates it with a message saying "No more updates ever."

I wish for ice cream.

[JackOSpades]

Granted the Ice cream is artificial Lute-fish flavored with real ghost pepper bits.

I wish I could think of an even more horrible Ice cream flavor but that might not even be possible.

[fractalman]

Granted.  You think of it. now...now you can never unthink it.  and furthermore, you are compelled to actually make it.  And then eat it. even though it tastes awfull.
For all eternity.


I wish I had 100 dollars for purchasing games. 

[SOLDIER First]

Granted.
You spend it on Call of Duty games exclusively.

I wish I had a little fish
a fish upon a little dish
'tis what I want, with my wish.

[wer6]

Granted upon thee,
A little fish
on A dish
is you!
You is next to bear!
you yum yum!

I wish i was better at rhyming.

[WhitiusOpus]

Granted. You can make delicious Rhy bread... Wait...

I wish I has the stamina to update my RtD threads from a mobile device...

[Erils]

Granted. You has the stamina to updates your RtD threads from a mobile device. The police arrests you later for stealings the phone.

I wish that I was better at granting wishes, but not a genie.

[Lenglon]

I wish that I was better at granting wishes, but not a genie.

Granted, You're now a djinn.

I wish I knew how to be a better GM

[WhitiusOpus]

Granted, you always roll 6's.

I wish for the next three wishes to involve fishes, and to rhyme to help pass the time.

[tahujdt]

Granted, you always roll 6's.

I wish for the next three wishes to involve fishes, and to rhyme to help pass the time.

Rhyming rhyme with time is a crime unsublime, and wishes for fishes are worse than a mime.
Since you called forth this horrid curse prime,
I wish that you'll be fishedphished by syndicate crime.

[pisskop]

Granterd, the Dons now crapflood the internets with scams and ransom software that the unwary download legally.

I wish for science.

[sackhead]

I wish for science.

granted the science is used to make horrible weapons of mass destruction

i wish i was the sun god

[WillowLuman]

Granted, you must sacrifice your life every day to bring life and light to the world. Poetic, but painful.

I wish for an exploding cigar.

[Lenglon]

Granted, it explodes in your face. No, not the comedic way, the realistic way. There is blood pouring out of where your eyes used to be, even with a skin graft your facial structure itself has reshaped enough to make you cause people to wince at the sight of you. Not to mention the ear damage, leaving you with severe tinnitus that never, ever, fully fades away in addition to making you have trouble hearing the people around you. Your sense of taste has been almost completely lost, and you have to use a vocalizer to speak, due to your lack of a tongue. And finally there is the pain, and the hospital bills, and sense of loss. Your crippling injuries cost you your job, and after several years of living off of wellfare and whatever temp job you can hold, eventually budget cuts cost you your disability check. You are thrown out on the street, and end up a lost, homeless cripple, and two years later, you die of exposure during a particularly harsh winter storm.

I wish I had 23,000 balloons.