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[Eschar]

The world's food supply is brought to nothing by the sheer amount of live, hungry people returning from the dead. There isn't enough food to go around, and everyone starves except your immediate family, who resurrect anyone of them who die. So now you and a few relatives live in an empty world of rotting corpses. Anyone else whom you resurrect blames your family.

I wish for DF 1.0.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but it is bought by EA and requires thousands of DLCS to use any workshop other than a carpenter's workshop.

I wish for a single cookie.

[Mathel]

Granted. You have gained a single cookie. It has the same diameter as Jupiter (planet) and the same taste.

I wish for Dwarf Fortress to today get optimized and compiled for all computer systems on planet Earth. Not by fusing the systems but by making many compilations obviously.

[Gigabytebob]

granted dwarf fortress has been FULLY optimized and becomes self aware and enslaves everyone

 I wish for the real battlefront 3 the one that was nearly done but Disney bought star wars and shut it down

[King Zultan]

Granted, but it's unfinished and you are charged full price and all the bug fixes and updates are in the DLCs that cost as much as the game.

I wish Disney didn't buy  Star Wars.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, Michael Bay makes the new movies instead.

I wish life was easier.

[Cyne-Wulf]

Granted but it becomes so easy that nothing is satisfying. The only difficult thing in your life is Dwarf Fortress where you will fail, and Archcrystal will be more impressive than your forts.

I wish I could understand all scientific concepts discovered or otherwise without any harmful side effects to my body, soul, mind or social life, ad without getting Cassandra's curse to never be believed.

[Madman198237]

Granted.

You get Helen of Troy's curse instead.



I wish for a trip to Middle Earth from which I will return entirely unharmed, yet I must have time to explore every single place that interests me and I must be able to leave on my own time.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. You will return entirely unharmed, at the Middle-Earth time of your own choosing, at the Earth time when Middle-Earth ceases to exist because the last traces of Tolkien's work are expunged from the universe (probably by being swallowed by the sun).

At least this is slightly better than my alternative choice of pointing out that Middle-Earth is canonically our own world (and the stories happen in the past), so you're already visiting it.

Also, Helen of Troy wasn't really cursed as such...

I wish for Madman to receive a trip to some knockoff high fantasy world.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

So is Cyne-Wulf being made into a stupendously beautiful lady, or being forced to marry Paris and drag the Achaeans into a war with Ilias, forever being blamed for this war even though it wasn't their fault?
Cause I guess forced marriage to Paris could be considered a curse...

[Cyne-Wulf]

Ummm...

[Puppyguard]

Granted, he visits central rock, a world full of slobbits, really tall Morves and finally, the slimy elves.

I wish for a cookie.

[Enemy post]

Granted, your browser now knows you looked at this new post.

I wish for a fish.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, someone's pet fish now knows you looked at this new post.

I wish for an edible cookie.

[Gigabytebob]

granted it has bugs in it

i wish for more waffles