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[Eric Blank]

Granted. You have medicine to deal with symptoms you don't have.

I wish for electricity to run my computer...

[Audioworm333]

Granted. You get much more than needed. It fries your computer.

I wish I was better at writing.

[Stirk]

Granted. You now write perfect Klingon.

I wish nothing could harm me in any way.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, you are sealed in a magical bubble which prevents all things harming you. Sadly it prevents you from performing any task as you might hurt yourself. It also prevents you from having a social life to prevent emotional damage. You eventually go insane. But, hey at least you can't be hurt.

I wish for a 40 metre tall robot.

[Lyeos]

Granted. As you climb up to turn it on, you slip off the ladder and land on your head.

I wish for all the volcanoes in on the planet to erupt.

[Stirk]

Granted. The planet is Jupiter, which is geologically dead.

I wish that we could colonize Jupiter.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, if only for a very, very brief time.

I wish for hydrogen.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Opening granted .exe
ERROR: COMMAND_NOT_VALID
"in on" INCORRECT
RETRY Y/N

Dammit Stirk

  I am not a happy camper.

Granted, if only for a very, very brief time.

I wish for hydrogen.

Granted, it replaces your oxygen. Sadly when you try to expel it someone lights a match and you combust.

I wish for spontaneous combustion.

[Karkov]

Granted, however it happens to your Grandmother.  We're sorry for your loss.

I wish I could force myself to sit down and either update my game or start writing a book.

[Stirk]

Granted. You go back and time and hold yourself at gunpoint, forcing yourself to write. The quality suffers, because few people write well with a gun in their face.

I wish I could focus on studying for the exam in three hours....

[Tawa]

Granted. Toady bans you. Bay12 won't distract you now!

I wish for a collection of hats rivaling Team Fortress 2.

[Lyeos]

Granted, the weight of all those hats crushes you, your family, and all that you hold dear.

I wish I had fully erased the original sentence for my previous wish, thus avoiding that embarrassing mistake.

[Stirk]

Granted, but everyone can see the *Edit* you did.

I wish for the power to turn my enemies into an Oscar Myer wiener!

[Tawa]

Granted. The price for it is your youth.

I wish WotC hadn't sent DnDtools a cease-and-desist.

[Stirk]

Granted. They instead sent a Mafia Hit squad that erased everything about it.

I wish that everyone in the world would use the same language.