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[nomoetoe]

Granted, here's a grandfather clock *throws at you*

I wish I may I wish I might have just one little thing, oh would you please finally bring me that tiny glass of WATER!!?!?!?!?!?

[Lyeos]

Granted, it's so tiny that there is but a single drop!

I wish I knew what a certain someone's aversion to normal firearms is when he's perfectly okay with magic ones. >_>

[nomoetoe]

Its cause this certain someone finds magical weapons to be sexy.

I wish for a fresh pressed hanky if I sneeze.

[blazing glory]

Granted,it's a fresh pressed hanky covered in mucous.

I wish for a decent movie.

[Shoruke]

Granted, you even get to be the star of it! But the producer and all your co-stars are assholes and the pressure on you is immense and the pay sucks.

I wish for a good night's sleep.

[blazing glory]

Granted,you sleep through the fire burning down you home.

I wish I wasn't the star of a decent nor a un-decent movie.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
you are the star of an terrible movie.

 I wish that dark matter (the dark matter from the Kirby games) successfully took over earth and shroud the universe in darkness and make it a place where no one can be happy
(this wish is so bad that it Corrupts itself, I somebody to make sure is Corrupted)

[JackOSpades]

 Granted but because this isn't the kirby universe it causes masochists to be exceptionally happy, the inherent logical paradox causes the dark matter to implode.

I wish I didn't have to basically corrupt that same wish twice now.

[Tawa]

Granted. To pay off the wish, you pay the XP penalty for Wish and become Level Zero.

I wish I was a Master Mind Flayer a la NetHack.

[blazing glory]

Granted,but a Cockatrice turns you into a statue.

I wish I had a entertaining game that scratched that "itch" I've been having for a while that I can't identify.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
in fact, The game rips out your flesh.

I wish for an pet Koopa Paratroopa.

[HissinhWalnuts]

Granted but it throws a tantrum and gouges out your eyeballs.

Gimmie a banana!

[Shoruke]

GRANTED, BITCH! *chucks a banana at HissinhWalnuts' face, and banana-paste gets all over him.

I wish for a pet pegasus.

[Lyeos]

Granted, as you ride it one day a particularly strong gust of wind knocks you off. You plummet to the earth, but don't die - No! You break both of your legs, your only ways out are climbing a cliff or traveling through a jungle, you have no compass, and only three days worth of food. As an added bonus, on the second day, you're going to get severely ill.

I wish I knew whether to play Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead or not.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Go for it and let the horror begin.

I wish for a vacuum cleaner.