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[Lyeos]

Granted, guess what? It's dead, because you ate it.

I wish for candy.

[Tawa]

Granted. The police are ready to hear it, as you have been arrested.

I wish I knew what Tawarochir's joke was.

Carry on.

Also, granted. You release the clowns.

I wish for M&Ms. Only the red ones.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You irresponsibly leave them out, where bees are attracted by the color. Soon, all the beekeepers discover dark red honey in their hives and freak out, causing a massive panic that leads to the purposeful extinction of the world's remaining bees.

I wish for a less expensive laundromat.

[Shoruke]

Granted, here's a tsunami.

I wish for a gentle rain.

[Tawa]

Granted. However, before the wish is granted, a level 42 hurricane arrives for the split second your wish is granted, making the coming level 11 hurricane (which is also off the charts) look like child's play by comparison.

I wish for a free Call of Cthulhu rulebook.

[~Neri]

Granted, it comes with a real Cthulhu.

I wish for a bag of potato holding.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. The vast depths of your imagination literally absorb you like a singularity.

I wish this would update.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you double post and propose a stat system. With rolls.

I wish we were faster completing the new system for a reboot of a game that failed.

[Tawa]

Granted. Unfortunately, the game's running is taken over by various dark horrors from the depths of the universe, among forgotten beasts and salt titans.

Granted. Unfortunately, the game's running is taken over by various dark horrors from the depths of the universe, among forgotten beasts and salt titans. The system is also horrible and rushed.

I wish I was a salt titan.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, say hello to this cavern lake of distilled water.

I wish the Dark Souls II DLC wasn't so damn expensive.

[Lyeos]

Granted, you can't wish either. You could never wish, actually. So, you never actually made that wish.

I wish I knew where my controller was so I could play Dark Souls II.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. The dye bomb in the money sack explodes, and swat finds you immediately.

I wish I had a potato.

[Lyeos]

Granted. Potato strike inbound.

I wish my blood tasted like... Really good ice cream. Yeah. That would be nice.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, every night I come to collect some of your blood, not enough to kill you and you can never wake up to stop me. mmm glorious blood.

I wish to be an expert at cooking so the world may enjoy my delicious meals of GLORIOUS AWESOMENESS!!!!! >:O!!!!!!

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. You are now an expert on sapient meat dishes, having read the book "To Serve Man"

I wish for DDA references.