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[Gentlefish]

Granted. It's a golden statue of Teddy giving you the finger.

I wish that I could survive in space and on earth and earth-like planets.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but you must regularly revisit an Earth-like planet, and they're few and far between.

I wish I was no longer in Lenglon's gut, and to leave in a non-gross way, because seriously, ew.

[Erils]

(I am having trouble thinking of a non-gross way so how about a compromise. I won't make you get covered in vomit or poop.)
Granted. You erupt from Lenglon's stomach screeching at everyone around the poor fox. Somehow, tearing through the fox's stomach didn't leave any blood, stomach acid or any body fluids at all lying around or on you. Still sparkly clean, you dash off into the ventilation systems and plot the gruesome demise of your next victim.

I wish I was a cat again, not a plant.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted.


I wish for my very own higgs-boson particle.

[birdy51]

Granted, although you quickly lose said particle and don't have the proof that it ever existed in the first place. Back to the drawing board with ye.

I. Wish. For. More. Punctuation!

[Tawa]

G:(_##r($/!a%>¥|%n»}«%t_=:6*]||e°[\<>»^d..............

I wish for a huuuuuuuuuuge piece of paper.

[Lenglon]

Granted, you get a single-sheet copy of every bill that has ever been passed by the U.S. Congress, double-sided, in very fine print.
It still, predictably, crushes you.

OWWWWWWW! @ person jumping out of my stomach.

I wish I could heal injuries by brushing them with my tail.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted- they're transferred to you. Best be careful with that tail now.

I wish for a lightbulb.

[Tawa]

Granted. In Spanish, "lightbulb" is "bombilla", which means little bomb. Enjoy your little bomb.

I wish for a larger pickup rate.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. A giant pneumatic arcade claw picks you up 1000 times per minute.

I wish for an Adventure Line^TM to lead me to Adventure.

[nomoetoe]

Granted, however the adventure line is menacing with spikes of adamantine, covered in acid, full of invulnerable giant fire ants, has 2 giant desert scorpions, the angry ghost of billy mays, a toaster and me on steroids in acid proof body armour armed with a minigun that shoots magma.

I wish for a balrog of morgoth.

[Erils]

Granted, but it gets lost and leads you to confusion instead. Ninja'd

Granted but it falls down a chasm before it does anything cool.

I wish that I was able to predict other people's wishes.

[Tawa]

Granted. You also gain X-ray vision you can't turn off.

I wish for X-ray vision I can turn off by clapping thrice and snapping once.

[Fluoman]

Granted, but it is so insanely powerful that it gives cancer to everyone you look at.

I wish for a cup of tea.

[nomoetoe]

granted, you drink it and its extremely hot your insides are burned.

I wish for an undead army.