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Author Topic: ROLL TO PIZZA  (Read 20178 times)

wer6

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #45 on: January 29, 2015, 11:51:45 am »

shit on plate, make shit circular, call pizza, feed to the unsuspecting masses, while Achmed buy's explosives.
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Zormod

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #46 on: January 29, 2015, 04:50:47 pm »

Try to regain consciousness, hope he left the pizza.
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Ama

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #47 on: January 29, 2015, 04:57:35 pm »

BE THE LAST PIECE OF PIZZA HIDING IN THE CORNER.
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LuckyKobold

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #48 on: January 29, 2015, 05:56:44 pm »

SEARCH THE CORNER FOR PIZZA!

Lyeos

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #49 on: January 29, 2015, 06:08:06 pm »

Ordered pizza? Fuck no! Send him away just to irritate the others!
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Ama

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #50 on: January 29, 2015, 06:14:43 pm »

GROW PIZZA HANDS TO BEAT THIS KOBOLD FOOL!
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Yoink

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #51 on: February 03, 2015, 11:01:39 pm »

EXCUSE ME, BUT THE KIND THAT ALLOWS THIS:

http://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/consuming-direct-control-tyranid-quest.10328/

NOW WAIT PATIANTLY FOR REPLY FROM GM
[2] YOU WAIT... AND WAIT... AND WAIT...

HAPPILY OFFER DEMON MAN SOME DEEP CHRIST PIZZA TO DEMON MAN. ALSO, SACRIFICE THOSE FUCKIN WEEBS TO DEMON MAN AS PAYMENT... TOO... Huh.
[3] YOU THRUST OPEN BOX OF JESUS PIZZA TOWARDS DEMON MAN
HE JUMPS BACK IN FRIGHT, HIS EYEBROWS SIZZLING AS THE SCENT OF  HOLY PIZZA WAFTS IN HIS DIRECTION
"AAAAGH! KEEP THAT SHIT THE HEAVEN AWAY FROM ME, YOU LUNATIC!"

Eat rest of Orange Wizard and, by extension, eat what he ate of me.

Eat rest of Orange Wizard and, by extension, eat what he ate of me.
[4] YOU EAT OFF LARGE PATCHES OF HIS SKIN... SOMEHOW
EAT THE BLOOD SO THE BLOOD CAN'T EAT ME
[3] YOU FEEL BURNING SENSATION AND LOOK DOWN TO SEE YOUR SKIN BEING EATEN OFF BEFORE YOUR EYES! AAAAGH!

Become pizza wizard. Conjure pizza golems.
[1] YOU ARE IN A DARK PLACE. YOU CANNOT MOVE. YOU SENSE MOVEMENT AROUND YOU, THOUGH, ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU WERE IN A BOAT OR PLANE...

Hope that a plane flying overhead is carrying either pizzas or ingredients for them, and conveniently drops a crate right in front of me. If successful, go get a crowbar from somewhere.
[6] HOORAY! A PLANE FLYING OVERHEAD DROPS A LARGE WOODEN CRATE WITH "PIZZA INGREDIENTS" FROM THE SKY!
YOU CHEER AND JUMP FOR JOY!

IT LANDS DIRECTLY ON TOP OF YOU.

Item Lost: Life!

(Five nights at Freddys reference)
Seeing the scary pizza man I call out a casual greeting then yell "WHO ORDERED A LARGE MARGHERITA PIZZA WITH A LARGE PEPSI"

then start gathering equipment to rob a pizzeria like a blanket, crowbar and gun

[5] YOU ALERT EVERYONE TO THE ARRIVAL OF THE DEMON PIZZA AND PEPSI

THEN GO INTO THE LAUNDRY, OPEN A CUPBOARD AND GRAB OUT A BLANKET... HUH, WHY WAS THERE A PINCH-BAR AND A SNUB-NOSED REVOLVER HIDDEN UNDER THERE?

Item Gained: Blanket!
Item Gained: Pinch-bar!
Item Gained: Snub-nosed revolver!


I ORDERED THAT PIZZA.
YOU STEP UP TO THE FRONT DOOR TO ACCEPT YOUR PIZZA, JUST AS IT LOOKS LIKE SOME OTHER GUY IS ABOUT TO SCARE OFF THE DELIVERY MAN

[3] "UH, YEAH," HE SAYS, SOMEWHAT NERVOUSLY, "WITH OUR CURRENT SPECIALS, THAT'LL BE... 1.5 IMMORTAL SOULS. WILL YOU NEED A RECEIPT?"

SUMMON A PIZZA NUKE
IN OTHER WORDS, A NUKE THAT MAKES THE ENTIRE AREA PIZZA

[4] YOU HAVE A GRENADE IN YOUR POCKET

IS COATED WITH GREASE, CHEESE AND OTHER PIZZA TOPPINGS

CLOSE ENOUGH?

Go Rob The Pizzeria Myself!
Also Snort Meth! Ask the Others if they want some.
Wait, Who's house is this? DEMAND THAT THE OWNER FEED US PIZZA!
SEARCH THE CORNER FOR PIZZA!

JESUS CHRIST MAKE UP YOUR MIND
[2] YOU SNORT A FEW CUBES OF THE METH IN THE KITCHEN AND START BABBLING ABOUT HOW "THEY" OWE YOU SOME GODDAMN PIZZA, WHOEVER THEY MAY BE, AND THEN YOU STUMBLE INTO THE CORNER OF THE LOUNGE ROOM... HEY! THERE'S STILL A SLICE LEFT! YOU TRY TO GRAB IT WITH AN EXCITED SQUEAL BUT SUDDENLY IT PUNCHES YOU IN THE CHIN AND EVERYTHING GOES BLACK

Item Consumed: Meth X4!
State Gained: High!
Item Lost: Consciousness!

HORAKTY IS EGYPTIAN, JACKASS

REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS

[4] ISN'T IT FROM THAT YU-GI-OH BULLSHIT THAT WAS POPULAR FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES IN PRIMARY SCHOOL?
THAT'S WHAT GOOGLE TELLS ME, ANYWAY

YOU WAKE UP. HEAD HURTS. OUCH.

Item Gained: Consciousness!

shit on plate, make shit circular, call pizza, feed to the unsuspecting masses, while Achmed buy's explosives.
[5] YOU SNEAK A PLATE INTO THE BATHROOM, SHIT ON IT, SQUISH THE RESULTS INTO A FLAT CIRCLE, THEN PLACE IT ON TABLE IN LOUNGE ROOM FOR YOUR VICTIMS

ACHMED TEXTS YOU TO SAY HE MANAGED TO GET A CARLOAD OF EXPLOSIVES AT A GOOD PRICE, SHOULD HE HEAD OVER TO YOUR PLACE NOW?

Item Gained: Shit Pizza!

Try to regain consciousness, hope he left the pizza.
[1] (I ACTUALLY GAVE YOU A RE-ROLL OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART, BUT YOU ROLL ANOTHER 1 *SADFACE*)

YOU SLOWLY COME TO WITH INTENSE PAIN IN HEAD, EVERYTHING'S PRETTY BLURRY
YOU SEEM TO BE IN SOME SORT OF BED, BUMPING AROUND IN A VEHICLE OF SOME SORT?

AS THINGS GRADUALLY COME INTO FOCUS YOU SEE STERN-LOOKING COP SITTING NEXT TO YOU
YOU'RE IN THE BACK OF AN AMBULANCE
YOUR HAND IS CUFFED TO THE GURNEY

SHIT

BE THE LAST PIECE OF PIZZA HIDING IN THE CORNER.
GROW PIZZA HANDS TO BEAT THIS KOBOLD FOOL!
[6] YOU ARE MUTATED PIZZA MONSTER FILLED WITH EXISTENTIAL RAGE AND A GENERAL HATRED FOR YOUR HUMAN OPPRESSORS

SOME STRUNG-OUT GUY TRIES TO EAT YOU AND YOU KNOCK HIM ON HIS ASS WITH A PIZZ-UPPERCUT
RAAAAGHHH

Ordered pizza? Fuck no! Send him away just to irritate the others!

WOW WHAT A DICK
[4] "PIZZA? NAH MAN NOT HERE, YOU GOT THE WRONG PLACE" YOU SAY TO WEIRD DEMON-GUY

HE NOT HAPPY
"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU GUYS WASTING MY TIME?"
HE PEERS AT THE OTHER TWO, THEN BACK AT YOU. HE IS STARTING TO SOUND ANNOYED.


> ?
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Elephant Parade

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #52 on: February 03, 2015, 11:20:29 pm »

Use magical powers to teleport to a pizza place.
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IcyTea31

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #53 on: February 04, 2015, 12:02:09 am »

Turn this accident around into a superhero origin story: A man tragically lost his life in a freak accident. However, his death was not the end. The pizza ingredients flowed in, replacing skin with crust, flesh with cheese, blood with tomato sauce. Some mystical force pulled him back to life, as the first PIZZA-VAMPIRE! Now he prowls the night in search for more and more pizza to stay undead, while those who would eat him hunt him.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #54 on: February 04, 2015, 12:12:24 am »

DEVOUR NUNZILLOR THROUGH THE HOLES IN MY SKIN
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darkpaladin109

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #55 on: February 04, 2015, 05:07:55 am »

Yes, it's good enough. Throw grenade into largest cluster of people I can find!
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killerhellhound

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #56 on: February 04, 2015, 05:16:24 am »

Turn this accident around into a superhero origin story: A man tragically lost his life in a freak accident. However, his death was not the end. The pizza ingredients flowed in, replacing skin with crust, flesh with cheese, blood with tomato sauce. Some mystical force pulled him back to life, as the first PIZZA-VAMPIRE! Now he prowls the night in search for more and more pizza to stay undead, while those who would eat him hunt him.
If this works grab a piece of Jesus pizza and shoot him then throw the pizza at him

other wise go hunt the punching pizza monster.


(If there are going to be unholy abominations I will become a hunter of the dark, except for that pizza delivery demon he seems cool)
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poketwo

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #57 on: February 04, 2015, 06:43:41 am »

"TIME TO CREATE HIVE I GUESS"

NOW GO AND EAT SOME HUMANS
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #58 on: February 04, 2015, 07:14:22 am »

"Don't listen to that shithead, this pizza was ordered by me and he has nothing to do with it. And he sucks. I would like a receipt, please."
Pay him dem souls.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2015, 10:18:43 am by SaberToothTiger »
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Nidilap

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Re: ROLL TO PIZZA
« Reply #59 on: February 04, 2015, 09:56:27 am »

GIVE THE DEMON MAN THE WEEB SOUKS AS PAYMENT. INDULGE IN MARAGARITA PIZZA
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

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