Okay, I think I understand better. Thanks!
When I spoke of churches, I was speaking of those that put people into a room with nothing to do but listen to a preacher. Providing constant distraction with loud memetic music, and maybe constantly distracting people's thoughts by having them stand up and sit down.
That scenario is an optimal indoctrination situation. Community pressure, sensory deprivation, confusion, and very loud repetitive claims from an authority figure.
But that's just my experience from Baptist church. Maybe other churches or denominations don't do that?
I *think* they do, but I don't really know.
That wasn't all my church did, to be fair. There were Bible studies as well. They took place on Wednesdays, AFTER church, at people's houses instead of church. Those were fun, rational discussions. Even though nobody questioned the book (openly), there was still disagreement and actual discussion. It was nothing like the preaching, which was simply literally indoctrination.
And that preaching was terrifying to me, then and now. As terrifying as if I was in 1984 being forced to participate in 2 Minute Hate, except it lasts an hour. I don't want to be brainwashed, and I don't think I'm immune.
In case this isn't clear, I think I would have been an excellent Mormon, Muslim, Catholic, or Puritan... I simply got lucky and had parents who (despite both being Christian!) let me grow up without indoctrination.
I feel drawn to such doctrines, like something's missing. It's very scary. Particularly since I'm not drawn to any particular one. That's why I'm sure it's just a weakness, one I'm especially vulnerable to.
Edit: And that's largely why I feel the need to argue against them, rationally. I shouldn't need reasons not to adopt these doctrines, but it helps to have reasons.
Edit2: I say "lucky" but I'm convinced I would be happier serving a doctrine. It's just how I am. I satisfy it with my work and my fucked up family, instead.