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Author Topic: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée  (Read 1569740 times)

smjjames

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11955 on: February 17, 2016, 03:11:46 pm »

Whether Carson goes by Super Tuesday kind of also depends on how Nevada and SC go, or he could just be stubborn (and if his cash holds out), keep going into Super Tuesday.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11956 on: February 17, 2016, 03:17:59 pm »

What would happen if Sanders won SC?

Like I realize asking that is akin to asking "What if the sun just suddenly turned into a pumpkin the size of Texas?" but humour me.
Rodham paced back and forth across the floor of the campaign doomcastle's Executive Loft.

How could this have happened? She had been concerned, momentarily, by the failure of the electorate in Illinois. She had won, but only just, and that wasn't how things were supposed to go. Thankfully the Cult of Superdelegate had ensured she would keep the lead in almost any scenario, but now "almost" was coming to town. That sexy tart had always had a shot at Nevada, and while the heads of many treacherous campaign interns had rolled after that, it was nothing compared to the horrid reality that South Carolina was lost.

Did the American people just not understand? She's the President, she's supposed to win. It hadn't made any sense. Even having deployed the crown of dominion over the black vote, it seemed that Americans still lived day in and day out with nothing but the hatred of women on their minds, and had ultimately handed away the nomination to....him. It seemed that the world wasn't quite Ready For Hillary after all. If Bill had learned to keep it in his pants twenty years ago, maybe things would have been different now. Maybe they never would have had to leave their White House at all.

After the results of South Carolina came in, she was twice betrayed by the defection of the Cult of Superdelegate, who had once sworn their blood and ballots to her name. She had everyone on board, once. She had Goldman Sachs, she had the UN Commission on Electoral Legitimacy, she even had maniac from the popular discussion platform www.bay12forums.com. But in the end it hadn't been enough, and Sanders' seductive message of socialism had finally destroyed America.

It wasn't all bad, necessarily. At least Jeb and his fellows had all been swept away by the tide of screeching weebs that followed Trump's streak of victories on the Republican side, all crushed under the weight of a million empty Mountain Dew cans and trash waifu merchandise. Only Rand had escaped this fate, by withdrawing from the nomination and turning the tide to his favor through a new era of cryptocurrency based on a Good Boy Point exchange and simultaneous revival of the gold standard.

As for her? She had called a meeting of her entire campaign apparatus and invited them to a nice strychnine fundraiser dinner. Those who suspected or did not arrive were fed to the legion of Bill-bots, who even now stalked the blood soaked halls making corny jokes and playing saxophones fashioned from bone. The real Bill lay on the bed of the Executive Loft, now short a few gallons. She had lured him in by saying she needed his personal comfort after the nomination. Heh. Men never change.

There was only one thing left to do now. The Bill-bots would take the campaign doomcastle and lay siege to America's nuclear arms facilities, except for a detour to Washington to get even with Barry. It was all set now, but seeing the results had proven a bad strategy in the past.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, the 45th President of the United States, climbed onto the balcony ledge, gazed upon the fiery horizon of a morning in America, and took flight.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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Flying Dice

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11957 on: February 17, 2016, 03:22:04 pm »

What would happen if Sanders won SC?

Like I realize asking that is akin to asking "What if the sun just suddenly turned into a pumpkin the size of Texas?" but humour me.
Rodham paced back and forth across the floor of the campaign doomcastle's Executive Loft.

How could this have happened? She had been concerned, momentarily, by the failure of the electorate in Illinois. She had won, but only just, and that wasn't how things were supposed to go. Thankfully the Cult of Superdelegate had ensured she would keep the lead in almost any scenario, but now "almost" was coming to town. That sexy tart had always had a shot at Nevada, and while the heads of many treacherous campaign interns had rolled after that, it was nothing compared to the horrid reality that South Carolina was lost.

Did the American people just not understand? She's the President, she's supposed to win. It hadn't made any sense. Even having deployed the crown of dominion over the black vote, it seemed that Americans still lived day in and day out with nothing but the hatred of women on their minds, and had ultimately handed away the nomination to....him. It seemed that the world wasn't quite Ready For Hillary after all. If Bill had learned to keep it in his pants twenty years ago, maybe things would have been different now. Maybe they never would have had to leave their White House at all.

After the results of South Carolina came in, she was twice betrayed by the defection of the Cult of Superdelegate, who had once sworn their blood and ballots to her name. She had everyone on board, once. She had Goldman Sachs, she had the UN Commission on Electoral Legitimacy, she even had maniac from the popular discussion platform www.bay12forums.com. But in the end it hadn't been enough, and Sanders' seductive message of socialism had finally destroyed America.

It wasn't all bad, necessarily. At least Jeb and his fellows had all been swept away by the tide of screeching weebs that followed Trump's streak of victories on the Republican side, all crushed under the weight of a million empty Mountain Dew cans and trash waifu merchandise. Only Rand had escaped this fate, by withdrawing from the nomination and turning the tide to his favor through a new era of cryptocurrency based on a Good Boy Point exchange and simultaneous revival of the gold standard.

As for her? She had called a meeting of her entire campaign apparatus and invited them to a nice strychnine fundraiser dinner. Those who suspected or did not arrive were fed to the legion of Bill-bots, who even now stalked the blood soaked halls making corny jokes and playing saxophones fashioned from bone. The real Bill lay on the bed of the Executive Loft, now short a few gallons. She had lured him in by saying she needed his personal comfort after the nomination. Heh. Men never change.

There was only one thing left to do now. The Bill-bots would take the campaign doomcastle and lay siege to America's nuclear arms facilities, except for a detour to Washington to get even with Barry. It was all set now, but seeing the results had proven a bad strategy in the past.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, the 45th President of the United States, climbed onto the balcony ledge, gazed upon the fiery horizon of a morning in America, and took flight.

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smirk

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11958 on: February 17, 2016, 03:25:05 pm »

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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

smjjames

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smirk

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11960 on: February 17, 2016, 03:33:58 pm »

I'll never understand that meme, to be honest. When taken out of context, sure, it's a guy clapping intensely. In context, it's a guy forcibly applauding a horrible performance by a romantic interest who everyone else only applauded sarcastically or with jeers and laughter. It's the exact opposite of what the meme wants to be.
Well, yeah, but how many people actually watch Citizen Kane these days? Especially among the young, hip, free-wheelin', meme-slingin' crowd.
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11961 on: February 17, 2016, 03:50:54 pm »

http://www.politico.com/blogs/south-carolina-primary-2016-live-updates-and-results/2016/02/ben-carson-campaign-nevada-219380 Pretty sure he has vowed before to continue to the convention.

Pretty sure all candidates vow that. Until they don't. Nobody says "Ehhh, I'm probably only going to run until Super Tuesday. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky!" even though that is pretty much the electoral strategy of most of the field.

Quote
Oh hey, Carson got his first congressional endorsement. Harris is also a doctor.
And he just happens to represent the district where Johns Hopkins is located. Sure that had nothing to do with it...


Oh, and this made my day.

EDIT: Apparently, Nikki Haley endorsed Rubio instead of Bush. From all accounts, he's not taking it well.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2016, 04:25:50 pm by RedKing »
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smjjames

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11962 on: February 17, 2016, 04:01:25 pm »

Well, Andy Harris did work at John Hopkins for years and as the article implies, he may very well have worked with Carson at some point.
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mainiac

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11963 on: February 17, 2016, 04:25:31 pm »

And my congressman once again proves the rule that he is only in the news when he is being a tool.  I remember when the maryland 1st had nice things...

What would happen if Sanders won SC?

He would be the favorite to win the nomination.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2016, 04:28:14 pm by mainiac »
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11964 on: February 17, 2016, 04:34:51 pm »

What would happen if Sanders won SC?

He would be the favorite to win the nomination.
Indeed. And then Hillary would be caught on tape in a drunken Scarlet Overkill-style rant.

Actually, if Hillary dressed up as Scarlet Overkill for Halloween, I might actually freakin' vote for her.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

mainiac

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11965 on: February 17, 2016, 04:38:47 pm »

I will notify headquarters immediately.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

sluissa

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11966 on: February 17, 2016, 05:49:19 pm »

What would happen if Sanders won SC?

He would be the favorite to win the nomination.
Indeed. And then Hillary would be caught on tape in a drunken Scarlet Overkill-style rant.

Actually, if Hillary dressed up as Scarlet Overkill for Halloween, I might actually freakin' vote for her.

Only if she can get Bill and Chelsea to dress up as minions.
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Frumple

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11967 on: February 17, 2016, 06:54:34 pm »

Chelsea, maybe. If you're going to go that route, Bill has to dress as Scarlet, too. Then they can have a catfight over wearing the same dress to the convention and there can be hair pulling and clothing malfunctions and just the whole nine yards. It'd be the best thing to happen this election cycle.
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What your country can hump for you.
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What you can hump for your country.

Amperzand

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11968 on: February 17, 2016, 07:27:43 pm »

Short of basically every high-conservative politician dropping dead, yes.
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Baffler

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #11969 on: February 17, 2016, 08:03:14 pm »

Short of basically every high-conservative politician dropping dead, yes.

Why just the conservatives? It's not like the democrats are any less self-serving and corrupt.
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