Here's the letter we should prepare but not send:
Question the possibility of a better marriage. Regardless of our own emotions, this seems like the best deal we can find. Any other wife can only be useful in influencing her land-holding family and with unsure degrees of success. Marrying Fenya means direct access to another holding and we can call on her aid without issue.
Her family is also without enemies and is unlikely to make any due to her quasi-protected status by the king. Marrying someone else entitles a greater risk of being called even when it's greatly disadvantageous to us.
Just in case our father isn't convinced, we should write to ask about what potential wives he has in mind. That way, we can play towards convincing him of the usefulness in marrying Fenya while also keeping on his good side by being open to "listening to reason".
We should write to Fenya that our father has declined the marriage and feels that we're being too emotional. We plan to send him a letter listing the reasons why a marriage would be practical and in our favour for non-emotional reasons. If she can think of any reasons why it would be good to us from a purely practical perspective to marry her then we can include those reasons in our letter. Once we get a reply we can include it in our letter to father and sent it off to him. In the meantime it would be best if we stopped sending each-other love letters in case they end up being used against us to show that we're being too emotional about the situation. We hope she understands.
i didn't want to marry Fenya anyway so that is fine
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