WARLOCK Late Winter of 3414th Obsidian, 34
So, here I am. A once-free spirit now shanghaied into ordering these dicks around for a whole year. Apparently the last Overseer-equivalent in this miserable "tower" went back to meditating or whatever the fuck, so they magicked up a new one.
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. These guys are completely fucked.
Also, apparently my kind is basically money to them. So, isn't that just fantastic?
15th Obsidian, 34
I can't even find the Craftsman's Workshop anywhere, so I ordered one built. My first use of power. Hooray?
... Oh, come on, I just fucking got here. Who the hell is it anyway?
Gnomes? What did we do to piss them off - oh, wait, we're evil aren't we?
Okay, let's see, who looks the most badass here?
Hmm. This "Overlord" guy looks good.
17th Obsidian, 34
What do you mean, "you can't get to him"!?!? He's right there!
Right. Fuck you, Overlord, time to call in the other guys.
"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE, THERE ARE GNOMES EVERYWHERE, SOMEONE KILL THESE WHILE THE OVERLORD BRAVELY CAMPS OUT ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN INSTEAD OF DOING HIS JOB!!!"
Fuck you, little man, fuck you.
Pictured: A single dude approaches the dozen or so gnome soldiers while everyone else bravely runs away instead of pulling the lever for the bridge like they're supposed to.
18th Obsidian, 34
The Crypt Lord rips into the gnomes, but then their war bobcat rips his shoe off and starts savaging him. Hopefully this is buying time for all of the military people to get up to the surface through the convoluted stair network (seriously, didn't the last guy hear about central planning?)
And then, a vaguely competent person saves the day!
At literally the last second, the bridge raises, blocking the gnomes from entering the "tower".
At this point the battle begins to turn in our favor. The Crypt Lord slices the bobcat in the ribs, gets up, and goes for the nearest gnome. The Lady of Bones becomes a whirlwind of death with that whip of hers, and the Overlord apparently fucked off so hard that he whipped back around and actually started killing things.
Only one gnome escapes to tell the tale. The rest are slaughtered.
Aren't I supposed to butcher these or something? Where the hell is that workshop?
...
Oh, THAT'S where the Craftsman's Workshops are... Well, now there's a new one on the surface, assuming someone actually did something I asked without cancelling at least twice.
Also... why do we have two center libraries?
20th Obsidian, 34
Okay, now that that's over, it's time to begin some new construction on the tower. I was thinking of maybe putting Graveyards on the actual tower instead of outside of it. If I give them enough souls, they won't need me.
With that in mind, I also ordered the construction of some new hourglasses down in the Craftsman's workshop. Or at least, I think that's what I ordered. Maybe I should check back on that...
22nd Obsidian, 34
Yeah, no, that wasn't what I had in mind at all.
I want them to just make hourglasses, but the closest thing is a general "Crafts" order. I tried to order them to just make hourglasses anyway, but they said that I was restricting their creative process and went back to what they were doing. I told them that they were zombies and didn't have creative processes, but all that got me was the finger.
Assholes.
28th Obsidian, 34
I have ordered the construction of many walls on the first floor of the "tower". The open-concept design must be sacrificed if the ridiculous risk of falling into the river is to be conquered. There are some areas of the first floor where it will still be a risk, but one can hardly be expected to wall off ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING...
1st Granite, 35
A new year dawns, and I find myself contemplating my situation. What the hell am I doing here? How long will I prevent my inevitable second death?
Pressing questions. Questions that I don't really have the answers to.