Journal of Mate the 888th, Overseer of DoomforestsWell, after some planning, I finally prepared the palace for the queen and the liaison. If only they had told us that they were going to come here before they got here asking for a house...
Oh well. Now I'll have to see to the magma crab problem. The metal intern has beaten one to death and the other is hiding in a corner, being ignored by everyone else. Maybe they are not that bad after all--
Oh... I... Forgot that magma crabs were able to... Spit magma on their victims... Now she's on fire...
This is bad.
And the marksdwarves aren't even halfway there yet!
Nevermind, they are here! Or, one of them, at least. Also a brave glassmaker decided to charge into combar, dodging the glob of molten rock and--DROKLES WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Well, he dodged it too. That was a close one.
The glassmaker sidesteps, dodging another glob while Drokles II jumps at the crab!
Perfectly synched! Too bad Drokles only has one leg now and he's on fire and stuff...
Even though one of his legs is on fire, Drokles still manages to jump away from the magma, avoiding certain death while the marksdwarf charges at the crab because he forgot to bring bolts down here!
While the glassmaker retreats and Drokles quietly sits there, melting, the marksdwarf dodges every glob of magma the black crab spits at him, still advancing!
No! The flying magma has striken the poor bastard in the chest!
But wait...
He's not burning! His
steel mail shirt faith in Armok stopped the magma! It's a miracle!
Another marksdwarf showed up! Also without bolts! What the fuck were they expecting to do!?
A brewer charges at the crab from behind! He dodges the magma spit and starts brutally stabbing it with a spear!
Finally, with a mighty bash, the marksdwarf crushes the crab!
Well, this ended up better than expected. Only two burning dwarves, and the army prooved not hilariously incompetent for a change!
Drokles is not unconcious, but he's still not moving. His burns are bleeding heavily and his lower body is melted. Meanwhile, the planter is running upstairs through the old depot stairway. Maybe the snow and water will stop the flames--
No, wait, the Queen is outside! If the first thing she sees is a burning planter, she will get really mad, and what is worse, she'll blame ME!
Oh Armok no!
Oh, well, it seems the fire faded out while she was desperately running upstairs, and only the fat of her lower body melted. So, good on you, Äs! You had a bad time, but in exchange you got a thinner body! And extreme pain, and difficulty to move your legs
and a flatter arse... Well, okay, it was still a terrible experience.
Now back to digging the palace.
Heh. Our trader just traded a bucket a set of elven boots, a bunch of clay and two roosters. Granted, it was a pretty nice bucket, but still, come on! This stupid elves overestimate iron.
As I walk down the farms, I see a trail of blood, leading to the entrance of the back tower. Senshuken VII was standing near the door, a somber look on his face. I ran upstairs. There he laid. Ognet Unalthikut, the marksdwarf, he who bravely fought the magma crab, dodging most of his spits. I guess the steel shirt stopped the magma, but the sheer force of the impact broke his ribs and cutted his heart. He was mortally wounded even before he started fighting, and he still won. He still killed the crab.
Maybe if he had brought some fucking bolts with him... *sigh*. I guess it's time to build this fort's 825th coffin. Yes, I counted them. A furnance operator was quick on stripping him of his belongings and carrying him naked to his coffin. He was a brave warrior, his body rests with his kin and his soul is now getting absolutely shitfaced in Armok's Halls...
Heh. Lucky bastard.
Also, on a separate note, Drokles is also fine, right now, the magma only removing his fat, making him a thin, if also horribly disfigured dwarf. So, in theory, Ognet was the most unlucky of them all, as his armor actually hurted him more than the crab's spit.
Why this kind of shit only happens to our soldiers?
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Topic: The Hastening of Doomforests (Read 452739 times)