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[mate888]

!!ULTRA SUPER MEGA DOUBLE POST!! (please read page 22 first)
18 of Granite
I don't know why there was not any craftsdwarf around to engrave the slabs, but now Kol, an angry ghostly woodcutter is yelling at poor old Taupe. I feel bad for him, but at least he's not me...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damn, the creepy bastard is sticking his face out of a wall! I mean, it's a wall in a blocked and inaccessible area, but Taupe is frightened nontheless. Why couldn't the asshole haunt the vampire?

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Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, the people went out to grab the wood, but they were foolish enough as to share the same planet with a pack of crundles. Sooo... Yeah. EVERYBODY GET INSIDE!!!

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The engraver decided to finally prove his usefulness and finally put Kol to rest.
Or Salemuk II, even though he's not a ghost and I prioritized Kol. Okay.

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Well, there's nothing else to report, nobody died and the crundles are having hard times navigating trough the caverns. Maybe they are not native to this area? If so, who introduced them? They have to feel hate towards the dwarves, and also be good enough with animals to tame those little assholes, but who--
It was so obvious, yet not I neither the residents of Doomforests noticed until now.

An elf spy comes to the fort, disguised as a trader despite coming alone with only three animal friends. And he just looks at us trough the woodlands, like waiting for something, some reason to attack us.
We kill some underground trees and mushrooms, and instantly, out of nowhere, a packof crundles arrives, making us go inside with the wood we can collect and lock the doors as a safety measure. But we don't get attacked, because the crundles are not familiarized with this caves, to wich the elves had just introduced them.
The spy is now waiting for us to go outside and kill a surface tree, giving him an excuse to attack. Then, they will destroy our fortress and eat us all. I will not let this happen, I will strike first. But not yet, I don't have enough proof to my theories, and my fellow dwarves don't think that attacking and killing our only non-infected trade partners is a wise idea. But if I find the smallest piece of evidence, I will show these tree huggers fear. When they invade, Ushrir will do the rest or die trying. So, either way we will win.
I just need to find more evidence... Or... I could make evidence... _{For the good of the Fort... I must kill... Doomforests shall not fall.}

[StupidElves]

Kill the elves!

[mate888]

Kill the elves!

I like your point.

[SkaiaMechanic]

I like the idea that he's trying to save the fort by inciting a war. As you mentioned, they're the last known friendly trading race we have.

Then again, we could deal with the goblins in our fort by sending elves to attack them, and in turn getting the goblins to attack the elves! It's foolproof!

...or a proof of a fool. Right now, the vampire is one of our only enemies that doesn't try to kill Dwarves on sight while following reasonable orders.  You could take advantage of the opportunity. Of course, if an army were to invade while the connecting wall is down, you could doom the fort. But what are the chances of that?

[mate888]

I like the idea that he's trying to save the fort by inciting a war. As you mentioned, they're the last known friendly trading race we have.

Then again, we could deal with the goblins in our fort by sending elves to attack them, and in turn getting the goblins to attack the elves! It's foolproof!

...or a proof of a fool. Right now, the vampire is one of our only enemies that doesn't try to kill Dwarves on sight while following reasonable orders.  You could take advantage of the opportunity. Of course, if an army were to invade while the connecting wall is down, you could doom the fort. But what are the chances of that?

Use enemies to kill enemies.
That has to be the motto of the fort.

[maxcat61]

I like the idea that he's trying to save the fort by inciting a war. As you mentioned, they're the last known friendly trading race we have.

Then again, we could deal with the goblins in our fort by sending elves to attack them, and in turn getting the goblins to attack the elves! It's foolproof!

...or a proof of a fool. Right now, the vampire is one of our only enemies that doesn't try to kill Dwarves on sight while following reasonable orders.  You could take advantage of the opportunity. Of course, if an army were to invade while the connecting wall is down, you could doom the fort. But what are the chances of that?

Use enemies to kill enemies.
That has to be the motto of the fort.

I second this. Why let dwarves fight and die when we can make other do it for us? The only conclusion that is most evil pointless logical thing would be to use our worst foe/best friend, magma, to kill our foes. If there isn't a pimp stack by the time I am overseer, I will make one!
Blood and Death for Armok!!!

[mate888]

"When we get overrun by wereantelopes, we use forgotten beasts to get rid of them. Then we get overrun by forgotten beasts, so we use goblins and trolls to get rid of them. Then we get overrun by trolls and goblins, so we use a badass vampire and several useless monsters to get rid of them. Then a badass vampire takes over half of the fort, so we use elves to get rid of him. Then we will get overrun by elves, but we'll use troglodytes to get rid of them. Then we may get overrun by troglodytes but we may aswell not, so the plan is infalible!"
-Famous last words

[PsychoAngel]

Things are going just swimmingly, I see.

Happy new year my friends!

[mate888]

Things are going just swimmingly, I see.

Happy new year my friends!

I wish a great and soapy 2015 to all of Bay12!

[mate888]

15 20 of Granite, Doomforests, outside of Smuntsu's office
-Citizens of Doomforests! You know what my opinion is about the way we should resopnd to the elven menace. But this fort is a democracy, and as such, we need the people to vote. So, I reunited you here, the most important nobles and ministers of the fort and a representative of the commoners to vote for this resolution. So, Minister Smuntsu, are you in favor of a hostile attack to the elves?
-Glaaargh witchiglyliy wiggly caarchuim crlaadontdoityouwilldoomthefort glaargh!
-Okay, one in favor. Minister of health?
-Gggggh...
-Two in favor. Minister of youth?
-Gu... gu...
-Three in favor. Heir to the throne?
-Pa... Pa...
-Four in favor. Now, for the final vote, the representative of the common people, you, very stressed fisherdwarf whose name I can't recall? What is your vote?
-The crundles... They were everywere... Oh, Armok the crundles... They came out of nowhere, with those devilish eyes... Oh gods, oh gods...
-Okay... I'll count that as an abstention. So, yeah! 4 votes at favor and one abstention. It's solved then! The fortress has voted and it's solved! We will attack the elves!
-Fuck you, this is not democracy, this is a dictatorship!
-SHUT UP URIST YOU WERE NOT IN THIS VOTATION AND YOU'LL CHARGE IN THE FRONT LINES FOR THAT!

[SkaiaMechanic]

Wait, did you go back in time a few days?

[mate888]

Wait, did you go back in time a few days?

Oops, I meant 20 of Granite

-----------------------------------------------

20 of Granite
Well, nobody wants to memoralize Kol, so his ghost is still haunting the countryside. I feel a bit recluctant about leaving the fort now, even if it is for killing an elvish spy. I think we could just open the drawbridge to the evil half of the fort and let Ushrir go and feed himself with some fresh elven blood. The doors to our half of the fort are locked so I think we may aswell try to send him to fight.
But... No. That would be bad for us.
I... See them in the trees. Birds, little birds from the woodland. Elves speak with the birds, and if the birds tell the elves that a crazy-ass vampire went and destroyed the trader, they may send warbeasts with them instead of what they would send if the kllers were unorganized militiamen.
We will lure them into the depot and murder them there.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Also, in a different kind of revelation, I went close to Smuntsu's office when I heard, through the other wall, noises. Ushrir was eating a dead troll on  particularily noisy manner.
The minister started screaming "Osp! Osp! Ggrrrrrrh! Osp!"
Who the hell is Osp?
Oh.
Ushrir is not actually Ushrir.
I know his real name now. I may find a use to that.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Woodcut (actually Mrs. Woodcut) is going to pull the lever to open the bridge. Her daughter Dastot died fighting Supergoat, another of the beasts that the elves introduced to our caverns. She is determined to avange her daughter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

24 of Granite, 1 day before full moon
The dwarves are preraping for the ambush.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

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25 of Granite
Taupe just ran away screaming of a room. Apparently the ghostly lumberjack (who was his best friend in life) disguised as an engraving and screamed at him when he got closer. Damn.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In other Taupe-releted news, his wife died. Yeah. Poor man. But let's stop grieving the dead when we can avange them by killing the elves!
It's time to take revange!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, Ushrir, or Osp, or whatever his name is has proven to be incredibly efficient at cleaning the blood, mostly by drinking it all up.
((OOC: I am very, VERY sorry about this, but I used the DF Hack command of "clean" to clean off all the contaminants, because the FPS drops made the fort literally unplayable. Otherwise I would have never done this, but it was impossible to do anything without pausing.))

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, come into the newly cleaned fort, elves. Come to the trap.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The elves are unloading their stuff. We first we will take all of their stuff. Then, we will make them know that we know what their kings did. That we know who placed those forgotten beasts in those caves. They will be slaughtered like the animals they are.
I see that mule looking at us trought the drawbrige. He will tell the birds. And the birds will tell that to the elvish druids.
They will come and enter trought the wrong entrance. And Ushrir will do the rest.
Unless... Oh, no. That donkey. That donkey saw the real entrance. He knows. He will tell the elves where to enter from. You can call me paranoid and crazy, but that creature is not going to risk our entire fort.
That donkey has to die.
We will eat meat tonight.

-----------------------------------------------

26 of Granite
The elves are in, the donkey is being cooked and the bridges are closed.
Now is the moment. Attack!
Nope, let's wait till they unload their stuff.

----------------------------------------------

My son just came out of the farms crying. Apparently, nobody cared about the poor Lokum, so they left his mangled skeleton inside of a barrel.
I'll put him on a grave.

----------------------------------------------

I'm not a patient dwarf, waiting for the elves to unload their shit is not my strong point.
CHAAAAARGE! FOR DOOMFORESTS, AND THE ENTIRETY OF DWARFKIND!

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The battle was brief and bloody. All the elves and one horse were beheaded. Hm. I tought there were more elves in the fort...
Oh that bitch.
The trader who calls herself Romimi Alieora knew there was something wrong inside and decided to stay outside. She saw everything. She knows we discovered them. And even worst. She knows were the real entrance is.
-Stakud. Pull the lever. The lower one.
-What? But that lever...
-I know what that lever does. There is no time for us to anything else! Let Ushrir taste some elvish blood!
-But...
-DO AS I COMMAND, STAKUD!
-Yes... Sir.

---------------------------------------------------

Apparently Urshir is crying, wich is weird because he is a sociopath that has no feelings nor soul.
Maybe it's because of the burning stench of the miasma, but it's still kind of disturbing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The bridge is raised and the vampire is grabbing his weapons. Shortly, the last trader will be killed, and the first part of my plan will be over.
Wait.
Before the fight, Ushrir, or Osp, gave a prayer to the human goddess Nifih for victory.
I investigated, and not only I noticed that that goddess is the one who made the first wereantelope out of a human, but also it showed me Ushrir's true name: Osp Shockedroom.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I know your name, Osp. Your false name shall no longer be pronounced in this fort.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

3 of Slate, 1056
Osp dashes trought the woodlands. With sword and shield in hand, the demon runs with a grace that could only be paralelled by elves, and with much more evil in his black hearth.
When he reaches the opposite side of the mountain, Romimi menaces him with a staff. Then she sees the white hair and the fangs, but it's alredy too late to flee. She screams, and tries to escape. But nobody leaves Doomforests alive.
Osp charges and cuts the elf's foot almost immediatly, as the yak bull yells desperately. Romimi is now unable to stand up, and is now at Osp's mercy. And vampires don't know mercy.
The vampire quickly murders the elf, but takes his time with the poor yak.
When he looks at the corpse stockpile to his left and the dead elves inside of the main fort trought the closed bridge, we see horror on his face.
Did... Did we just scared a vampire?!
What the hell ARE WE?!
But... Wait... The vampire looks at us before returning quietly to his half of the fort, and his expression turns into a smile. He knows were to enter from now.
-You'll have to exit the fort some day! And I'll be waiting! I can wait. I have a whole eternity for that! And when I get there, overseer, your son will be first! Your HEIR will be first!

I'll order Romimi to be memorialized, and I go pray for the elvish invasion to be soon.
Armok, what have I done?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Well, with this I end the first month, and it's alredy less deadly than Taupe's! Stay tuned, I have a feeling that this year will be one to remember.
PS: Sorry for clearing the guts with DFHack, it's only because that lagged me a lot and caused the game to crash. When the elves come, I promise you, the halls of Doomforests will be bloody again.
Nobody leaves Doomforests alive. _Nobody.

[Taupe]

http://9gag.com/gag/ae3yX6O

Not sure if the river is still frozen, may want to link the mysterious lever to a bridge crossing the river.

Think the reason the elf isnt moving is that his wagon cannot reach the depot, its probably sealed by the walls or the bridges.

Use enemies to kill enemies.
That has to be the motto of the fort.

Why, yes, we have very limited ressources, can't let them go to waste, even if said ressource register under the ''invader'' tab.

As for the tears of Ushrir, or osp, keep in mind that his millenia-old companion probably died about a week ago, murdered by 40 trolls. I guess they grew attached to each other over the years.

*    *    *

Diary of Dr Taupe

Well, it is done. I have forsaken the title of overseer. It seems that the cousin of our late baron showed up, and he quickly took over the mantle of leadership and nobility by having himself crowned mayor. Surprisingly, he decided to keep minister Smunstu around, which led to the discovery of the vampire's real name: Ost. Cursed by a forgotten deity, responsible for all the wrongs in this fortress, it would seem. Who is she?

Finding the truth about Nifih may bring answers, or possibly salvation, to this forsaken place. When the next dwarven caravan arrives, I will ask our broker Skaia to secure a few books for me. I must find out more about Nifih, and the fabled place spoken of in the most dreadful legends: DateTatooed, an eldritch location known for its ancient ritual and forgotten curses. Whatever was going on over there, maybe someone figured out a way to keep all that evil at bay. an item, a prayer, maybe a ritual.

Whatever the next years allow me to uncover about this world and the horrors it spawned will have to wait, I'm afraid. Ghosts of the past haunts my days just as they have plagued my night. Asleep or awake, it makes no difference, the memories of the dead follow my every step. I asked the masons, but nobody will touch that corpse in a barrel, nor engrave the right slabs. How can I save Doomforests from the forces of evil when I can't even keep shades of my past at bay?

I'm told the elves may be allied to Nifih in some manner. They were slaughtered in our hall, and I heard the voice of Ost resonate in the halls. He seeks to get in. He seeks our blood. The death of his companion will not go unpunished. I hope Mate the 888th knows what he is dealing with here. Otherwise...

But hey, at least for once we get to eat meat?

[mate888]

Yes, Taupe, we will eat delicious cat and donkey.
Also, weirdly enough, Nifih is the goddes pof pregnancy, fertility and love.

[mate888]

   

• mate888
• Salmeuk

*gasp* Lies!