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[~Neri]

Shoot her wrists!

[AoshimaMichio]

"I walk up to the pistol wrack, grabbing a SIG P239 and Walther PP in armpit holsters, and an m1911 government model and a Skorpion in belt holsters. At least one of those guns has a higher rate of fire then the black powder artillery piece I picked up."

I would NEVER let the protagonist of one of my games go anywhere without at least two guns nearby. And someone gave me a suggestion to get some pistols, so we did. On the first page.

Ah! This necessitates a change of plans!

Throw the Skorpion at her face, and a SIG P239 at her kneecap (dual-wielding like a master, naturally), then disarm her with our very sharp nails. If that doesn't work, throw packing peanuts (wisely grabbed beforehand) at her to additionally disorient and discombobulate, then disarm!

+1 for this. I probably shouldn't be reading these at midnight, too much fun.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

"I walk up to the pistol wrack, grabbing a SIG P239 and Walther PP in armpit holsters, and an m1911 government model and a Skorpion in belt holsters. At least one of those guns has a higher rate of fire then the black powder artillery piece I picked up."

I would NEVER let the protagonist of one of my games go anywhere without at least two guns nearby. And someone gave me a suggestion to get some pistols, so we did. On the first page.

Ah! This necessitates a change of plans!

Throw the Skorpion at her face, and a SIG P239 at her kneecap (dual-wielding like a master, naturally), then disarm her with our very sharp nails. If that doesn't work, throw packing peanuts (wisely grabbed beforehand) at her to additionally disorient and discombobulate, then disarm!

+1 for this. I probably shouldn't be reading these at midnight, too much fun.

Ha, okay. +1
We should make gunchucks at some point...

[Stirk]

Throw the Skorpion at her face, and a SIG P239 at her kneecap (dual-wielding like a master, naturally), then disarm her with our very sharp nails. If that doesn't work, throw packing peanuts (wisely grabbed beforehand) at her to additionally disorient and discombobulate, then disarm!

*Sigh**SIEGH*
---------
While still on the ground, I decide to pull my weapons out for self defense. I take my Sig out from under my armpit using my left hand, while pulling out my Skorpion machine pistol from my belt with my right.

I point both of this guns at the maid, preparing to fire. I then realize I never reloaded them-just packed along the magazines. Silly me.

With catlike reflexes, I spin the guns around my fingers, trowing them each from that position, the Scorpion spinning towards her face and the Sig twirling towards her kneecap.

With maidlike reflexes, she perfectly blocks my expert attack. She grabs the scorpion with her teeth, her head moving backwards to better take the force as her leg rises, the practical shoes falling off as she catches the Sig with her black painted toes. She then stands back up, one leg raising the skirt slightly as it points towards me. Her sharp yet moe canines where showing over the wooden grip of the Skorpion, which she is now pointing at me, her tongue on the trigger.

She then flicks the safeties off simultaneously, using her tongue and pinky toe, preparing my totally loaded in reality pistols. I have amnesia, never trust my memory. I should have just fired them.

Still on the ground, I pull the packing peanuts from my shirt pocket, trowing them towards the maid like angry peanuts. She is temporarily distracted as she shoots them all out of the air using the Sig, five shots going off in a quick burst that decimate all of them to join the Styrofoam Remanent already on the floor.

[~Neri]

Throw a box at her!

[Comrade Shamrock]

Shoot her in the head with the walther PP while yelling ''heart'' to throw her off.

[Worldmaster27]

Initiate Dodging-by-Dance sequence

[Harry Baldman]

Shoot the Skorpion in her mouth with the Walther PP to provide her with a pleasant ringing sensation throughout the skull (plus, you know, broken teeth and stuff), and then hurl the Walther PP at her skull like a tomahawk to increase the impression. We can't actually shoot people directly, obviously. That's not what true cat vampire heroes do!

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

Shoot the Skorpion in her mouth with the Walther PP to provide her with a pleasant ringing sensation throughout the skull (plus, you know, broken teeth and stuff), and then hurl the Walther PP at her skull like a tomahawk to increase the impression. We can't actually shoot people directly, obviously. That's not what true cat vampire heroes do!

+1
And open another box and check what's inside.

[Prophet]

((I don't know which suggestion to add my +1 to so i'll wait till the next update to join in on this awesome cat stuffs!))

[Stirk]

((I don't know which suggestion to add my +1 to so i'll wait till the next update to join in on this awesome cat stuffs!))

This game was serious, for two posts.........*Sighs**SEIGH*SEAGH*SIG*

-----------------

Shoot the Skorpion in her mouth with the Walther PP to provide her with a pleasant ringing sensation throughout the skull (plus, you know, broken teeth and stuff), and then hurl the Walther PP at her skull like a tomahawk to increase the impression. We can't actually shoot people directly, obviously. That's not what true cat vampire heroes do!

If I showed you three cat vampire heroes shooting people, would you believe that you are a liar?

-------------

I instinctively quick draw my Walther from below my armpit with my right hand and let forth an expert shot, straight toward the Skorpion in her mouth, hardly feeling the .380 ACP bullets recoil through my enhanced strength. Of course, I yell "Heart!" in an attempt to divert her dodging. The enemy gun goes off with a quick flick of her tongue at the same time.

There is a spark in the air, and two fused bullets fall to the carpet.

I should have just shot her. She saw it coming a mile away...

Instantly following that, I throw my perfectly good, loaded weapon so the enemy can have another gun. I pull back and throw it like a baseball, straight towards her face. She, of course, ducks under it. Casually, at that. Still standing on one leg. Didn't work at all.

Now serious, she aims all four guns at me, somehow, putting them in Double Macedonian firing position. As if in slow motion, four bullets fly at me. Two fast moving, small .223s. The larger but slower 9mm from her foot Sig. And the .380 from the Skorpion in her teeth.

I have a flashback, briefly, words flying through my mind.

"The battlefield...."

The bullets inch closer, drilling the air toward me.

"Is your stage."

The sound barrier is broken, all three bullets cracking like a whip.

"You are a bullet.

Lead is your body and fire is your soul.
You dance across the battlefield
Following your routine.
The song of death follows you
The crack of air."

Is my life flashing before my eyes? Why must the last thing I hear be bad poetry?

"You find a partner and hold on tight
For dear life and dear death.
Embracing forever.
You are not the first
Nor the last
dancer on this stage
But in your brief existence
You create and destroy worlds.

For good or for evil,
For better or worse,
The world will forever dance
The..."

The bullets are several feet away from me now, and I finally understand.

Brisé. I leap through the air to my left, just as the bullets reach the spot I once was. My flowing black hair, trailing behind me, catches the two .223s in flight. A few strands leave with the bullets, but otherwise I am unharmed.

Two more bullets follow close by, my body still in their path.

Chaînés. I spin, 360 degrees like a bullet. The 9mm passes inches from my stomach, the .380 flying under my right arm.

"Bullet ballet..." I finish the badly worded poem that was in my head, whispering to myself.
--------------------

Initiate Dodging-by-Dance sequence

I stretched that to mean Ballet dance sequence! Showed you. And I made it overly dramatic, just to teach you all a lesson! THAT IS HOW YOU DODGE A BOOLET FOOLS.

Now I think I got them all except one...

-----------------

Finishing my dodging move, I immediately leap into action. I pull an unopened box from a nearby door, feeling how light it is, I then throw it at her, continuing my spinning motion for extra momentum. It flies at her, and explodes mid-air as she shoots it, throwing up a smoke cloud of white Styrofoam.

[Comrade Shamrock]

I think we have one gun left.
Shoot her in the head with the m1911.

In case this doesn't work where is the mitrailleuse? Let's see her catch that with her tongue.

[Harry Baldman]

I think we have one gun left.
Shoot her in the head with the m1911.

In case this doesn't work where is the mitrailleuse? Let's see her catch that with her tongue.

She can dodge bullets as well, it should be noted, so the whole shooting thing is highly unlikely to work.

If I showed you three cat vampire heroes shooting people, would you believe that you are a liar?

They wouldn't be true cat vampire heroes in that case, would they?

Tear off a nearby door and use it as a tower shield, barreling into the maid with it held forward and pushing her to the ground.

If there are no nearby doors to be torn off, use a nearby lamp as a deadly weapon against her (preferably a standing lamp, but if there are only wall or ceiling lamps, tear those out of a wall).

[AoshimaMichio]

Meow and bow. Use the cloud of styrofoam as cover and wall/ceiling run next to her and invite her to dance. Should it fail there's always another option:

I think we have one gun left.
Shoot her in the head with the m1911.

In case this doesn't work where is the mitrailleuse? Let's see her catch that with her tongue.

[Harry Baldman]

Meow and bow. Use the cloud of styrofoam as cover and wall/ceiling run next to her and invite her to dance.

Also a good option! +1!