Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Stirk]

I have no clue what to do with only two contradictory orders! SGing is hard.

[~Neri]

Point at self with doe-eyed look. Look genuinely hurt by the accusation.

Possibly meow.

Stretch out on the ground to affirm innocence.

This.

[Prudent Viper]

Yep, I never gave an order. Kevak's action is your only option.

[Stirk]

Yep, I never gave an order. Kevak's action is your only option.

Really? I thought you did, and Kevak didn't. I'm confused an lost.

--------------

I point to myself, eyes watering with innocent tears as I do so.

"Meow? Nyan!" I reply, my voice full of hurt.

The maid looks momentary confused, quickly putting both guns back into the vast frills of her uniform.

"My mistake, Master Cat, but I jump to conclusions quickly before I have had my morning tea." She replies, while curtsying courteously.

Again I stretch out on the ground, yawning with my well practiced cat face.

"Yes, you are quite right. I should relax more. Good day, I am off to get my tea." she stated again, this time with a bow.

She then walks off to her room, and gently closes the door. 2.23 seconds later, the door burst open again, even harder, nearly knocking it off its hinges.

The maid's pale face is locked into a scowl, and she has a cup of tea that is splashing everywhere in one hand and a recently sent fax in the other, with your picture on it. How did they even get a picture of a vampire? The same way the mirrors work?

"YOU ARE THE TARGET I AM SENT TO KILL!" She shouts, throwing the teacup at you as she quick-draws her guns.

What do you do now?

[Harry Baldman]

Meow meaningfully, implying that we will volunteer to help her clean all this up later if she perhaps does not kill us just yet. Maybe we can even do her work for her, all free-like and whatnot, so she'll be able to do whatever with her time. After all, summer is coming, and she's bound to be a little short on dark hours to do whatever she likes to do when that happens.

If that doesn't work, use catlike reflexes to throw teacup at her face in an offended manner and escape in the confusion.

[Funk]

Meow meaningfully, implying that we will volunteer to help her clean all this up later if she perhaps does not kill us just yet. Maybe we can even do her work for her, all free-like and whatnot, so she'll be able to do whatever with her time. After all, summer is coming, and she's bound to be a little short on dark hours to do whatever she likes to do when that happens.

If that doesn't work, use catlike reflexes to throw teacup at her face in an offended manner and escape in the confusion.

+1

Escape using blinding power of nyan cat to cove us

[Worldmaster27]

Meow meaningfully, implying that we will volunteer to help her clean all this up later if she perhaps does not kill us just yet. Maybe we can even do her work for her, all free-like and whatnot, so she'll be able to do whatever with her time. After all, summer is coming, and she's bound to be a little short on dark hours to do whatever she likes to do when that happens.

If that doesn't work, use catlike reflexes to throw teacup at her face in an offended manner and escape in the confusion.

+1

Escape using blinding power of nyan cat to cove us

+1 then shoot her with whatever.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Meow meaningfully, implying that we will volunteer to help her clean all this up later if she perhaps does not kill us just yet. Maybe we can even do her work for her, all free-like and whatnot, so she'll be able to do whatever with her time. After all, summer is coming, and she's bound to be a little short on dark hours to do whatever she likes to do when that happens.

If that doesn't work, use catlike reflexes to throw teacup at her face in an offended manner and escape in the confusion.

+1

Escape using blinding power of nyan cat to cove us

+1 then shoot her with whatever.

This comes with my recommendation +1

[Stirk]

Meow meaningfully, implying that we will volunteer to help her clean all this up later if she perhaps does not kill us just yet. Maybe we can even do her work for her, all free-like and whatnot, so she'll be able to do whatever with her time. After all, summer is coming, and she's bound to be a little short on dark hours to do whatever she likes to do when that happens.

If that doesn't work, use catlike reflexes to throw teacup at her face in an offended manner and escape in the confusion.

((It would be rather difficult to shoot her after escaping, and I have no blinding powers that I know of))

"Meo-OWWW" I start to make a logical argument begging for my survival, but the teacup hits me square in the forehead with enough force to shatter the cup and throw me several feet backwards. Noticeably, the cup is empty. Supposedly vampire's can't drink tea, after all. What did she even use the cup for?

As I lie on the floor, both guns went off, slamming a bullet on either side of my body, both narrowly missing. Lucky break.

[Harry Baldman]

Well!

Hm!

Wait, aren't vampires mostly immune to small arms?

Hm!

Well, don't try to find out. Run on all fours for your unlife! Possibly screech as only a cat with its dignity and good intentions gravely wounded can.

[Stirk]

((A normal box? Shoot it. A wall? Shoot it. Locked out? Hit it. Why do we always take the violent option only when it wouldn't be logical?))

[Comrade Shamrock]

(Let me inject a small note of sanity)
Kneecap the maid and shoot any weapons out of her hand. Capture her and let's use her as a blood bag.

[Harry Baldman]

(Let me inject a small note of sanity)
Kneecap the maid and shoot any weapons out of her hand. Capture her and let's use her as a blood bag.

I think the problem is that we have <no guns>, and we can't have <guns> and <no guns> until we sufficiently level up our intelligence. Although kneecapping her with a headbutt would be pretty funny, I'm not sure it's going to work exactly, at least not before we're leaking like a sieve.

Although we could try the giant petrel route and just vomit the guns out of her hands, though there the problem is that we'll probably run out of internal fluids before we can achieve this.

[Stirk]

"I walk up to the pistol wrack, grabbing a SIG P239 and Walther PP in armpit holsters, and an m1911 government model and a Skorpion in belt holsters. At least one of those guns has a higher rate of fire then the black powder artillery piece I picked up."

I would NEVER let the protagonist of one of my games go anywhere without at least two guns nearby. And someone gave me a suggestion to get some pistols, so we did. On the first page.

[Harry Baldman]

"I walk up to the pistol wrack, grabbing a SIG P239 and Walther PP in armpit holsters, and an m1911 government model and a Skorpion in belt holsters. At least one of those guns has a higher rate of fire then the black powder artillery piece I picked up."

I would NEVER let the protagonist of one of my games go anywhere without at least two guns nearby. And someone gave me a suggestion to get some pistols, so we did. On the first page.

Ah! This necessitates a change of plans!

Throw the Skorpion at her face, and a SIG P239 at her kneecap (dual-wielding like a master, naturally), then disarm her with our very sharp nails. If that doesn't work, throw packing peanuts (wisely grabbed beforehand) at her to additionally disorient and discombobulate, then disarm!

(Let me inject a small note of sanity)
Kneecap the maid and shoot any weapons out of her hand. Capture her and let's use her as a blood bag.

I'm going to have to -1 that regardless, though. Shouldn't get used to good vampire blood, as it makes us less likely to enjoy the regular stuff. Blood bonds and all that, man!