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[Elephant Parade]

BECOME THE INTERNET

(6)YOU BECOME THE INTERNET. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU ARE PREVENTED FROM DOING ANYTHING BY INTERNET PROTOCOL.

Dammit, Lyeos, we need nervousness and productivity to be both shite!
START RECORDING AND RELEASING VIDEOS ABOUT HOW HUMANITY SHOULD BE UNITED TOWARDS THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS. FOR MY TERRORIST GROUP THIS IS CODE FOR "RELEASE A GAS THAT MAKES EVERYONE EXTREMELY HAPPY BUT LAZY"

(4)THE GAS ENTERS THE ATMOSPHERE.

HUMANITY'S PRODUCTIVITY DROPPED SLIGHTLY.
HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS DROPPED SLIGHTLY.

CHANGE! YES WE CAN!

ADVISE OBAMA THAT THE US SHOULD INVADE MEXICO AND SOLVE THE BORDER ISSUE BY ELIMINATING BORDERS

(5)OBAMA AGREES. NORTH AMERICA TURNS INTO UNITED NORTH AMERICA. UNFORTUNATELY, WARFARE HAS BROKEN OUT BETWEEN OLD AMERICA AND CANAMERICA. AMERICO IS NEUTRAL.

HAVE DEMONS SUBTLY SABOTAGE HUMAN RESOURCE-GATHERING PLACES.
Hey, blame the overshoot, not me.
I was trying to decrease nervousness, at least.

(5)MANY MACHINES BREAK DOWN. MOST MINES SEEM TO HAVE RUN DRY.

HUMANITY'S PRODUCTIVITY DROPPED SIGNIFICANTLY.

+1 AAP

ORGANISE THE PRISONERS INTO AN ARMY AND TAKE OVER THE PRISONS, ALL THE PRISONS

How many times am I going to go to prison?

(4)YOU TAKE OVER ALL PRISONS IN CENTRAL OLD AMERICA.

+5 AAP

MORE DESTRUCTION! AND KILL THOSE PESKY SOLDIERS.

(5)YOU CALL DOWN LASERS FROM ORBITAL ATTACK SATELLITES

LARGE PORTIONS OF THE WORLD ARE ANNIHILATED

HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS INCREASED MASSIVELY
HUMANITY'S PRODUCTIVITY DECREASED SIGNIFICANTLY

+10 AAP

ASK PUTIN WHY HE SENT ONLY ONE NUKE TO THE UK

(2)HE DOESN'T LIKE QUESTIONS

BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE TO CAUSE OVERPOPULATION

(3)YOU BRING BACK A FEW HISTORICAL FIGURES

THE WORLD'S POPULATION IS NOT SIGNIFICANTLY AFFECTED

+1 AAP

STEAL SODA FROM FRIENDS, DRINK SODA AND MAKE A NEW ECONOMY WITH THE 3 BOTTLE CAPS.

(2)YOUR FRIENDS DON'T HAVE ANY SODA

MAKE DEAL WITH SATAN.  PROMISE TO BE HIS AGENT OF DESTRUCTION IF HE GIVES MY CHARACTER A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE.  AND A FUNCTIONAL GPS.

(6)HE MANAGES TO GET YOUR SOUL OUT OF THE BARGAIN TOO

HE'S A HARD BARGAINER

+3 DEMON AAP
ALL GAINED AAP WILL NOW BE TRANSFERRED TO DEMONPOCALYPSE
GOT GPS

DEPLOY GIANT ROBOTS

(1)THEY DECIDE TO DEFEND HUMANITY INSTEAD OF ATTACK IT

+1 TO ALL ROLLS BAHAHAHAHA

(6)WHAT

WHAT WAS THIS ACTION SUPPOSED TO DO

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

+5 AAP TO CONFUSIONPOCALYPSE

OFFER 5 BUCKS TO ANYONE WILLING TO BE INJECTED WITH LAST TURN'S HAPPY RELAXED DISEASE.

(3)INFLATION HAS BEEN PRETTY SEVERE RECENTLY

5 BUCKS ISN'T MUCH

A FEW PEOPLE VOLUNTEER, THOUGH

HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS DECREASED SLIGHTLY

MAKE EVERY KNOWN THREAD IN THE CLOTHING INDUSTRY SENTIENT AND ABLE TO MORPH WITH OTHER THREAD FIBERS INTO MAKING GIANT BEASTS WITH GUNS!!!!

(2)NO

arise as sentient blob of magma travel across the sea to japan begin covering japan finding more lava to increase my body mass as i go

(2)YOU ARISE AS A NORMAL PERSON

[5V2]THE NEW ROBOTS INFLICT SEVERE DAMAGE ON THE ANTI-HUMANITY ROBOT

[2]THE DEMON IS STILL CONFUSED

Spoiler: APOCALYPSE STATUS (click to show/hide)

OBAMACULT: 4
NATURAL DISASTER: 5
SENTIENT CLOTHING: 2
DEMONS: 21 / PORTAL
MAGIC CORRUPTION: -1
KILLER PLANTS: 0
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: -5
TERRORISTS: 5
GIANT ROBOTS: 18
DRUGS: 3
PRISONER REBELLION: 5
OVERPOPULATION: 1
CONFUSION: 5

Spoiler: HUMANITY STATUS (click to show/hide)

HUMANITY NERVOUSNESS: TERRIFIED
HUMANITY PRODUCTIVITY: BELOW-AVERAGE

OKAY HUMANITY IS PRETTY SCARED NOW

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STOP TRYING TO TERRIFY PEOPLE

ALSO, WE ARE NOW ON TURN 8 (OR 9, I'M NOT SURE)

THIS MEANS THAT IT'S TIME TO VOTE ON WHETHER WE'RE GOING TO EXTEND THE GAME BY FIVE TURNS

SO YEAH, GO VOTE

[Lyeos]

Right.
BEGIN OPENING MORE PORTALS IN RELATIVELY UNSETTLED AREAS! AND BY RELATIVELY I MEAN BASICALLY COMPLETELY, AKA UNDERGROUND CAVERNS AND WHATNOT SO AS TO NOT INCREASE NERVOUSNESS.

[Lightningfalcon]

WITH THIS GPS NO LOCATIONS ARE OUT OF MY REACH! RELEASE CTHULHU USING THE POWERS OF THE GLOBAL POSITIONING SYSTEM IN THE NAME OF MY NEW MASTER

[TamerVirus]

LAUNCH NUKES AT EVERYTHING! FOR THE OBAMACULT!

[okjoe1]

START YELLING AT PEOPLE THAT BANANAS IS THE UNIVERSAL CURRENCY NOW

[Hawk132]

EXPLODE THE PRO-HUMANITY ROBOTS. HOPEFULLY WITH LARGE AMOUNTS OF COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

ALSO, WELCOME TO THE FORUMS OKJOE.

[tuypo1]

create nanites to control the magma

[poketwo]

Launch nukes at everything! For the Obamacult

HELP HIM WITH NUCLEAR WAR BY ALSO LAUNCHING NUKES AT MOTHER RUSSIA'S ENEMIES
ALSO, EXTEND THE APOCALYPSE BY 5 TURNS

[Comrade Shamrock]

Fly to Europe to take over prisons there.

[aattss]

pump cannabis into the atmosphere

[Lyeos]

IF HUMANITY'S NERVOUSNESS REACHES MAXIMUM, HUMANITY WILL TURN ON ITSELF; THE ONLY SURVIVORS WILL TAKE SHELTER. APOCALYPSES WILL CLAIM NO VICTIMS, AND EVERYONE WILL LOSE.

IF HUMANITY'S PRODUCTIVITY REACHES MAXIMUM, HUMANITY WILL DISCOVER WAYS TO AVERT ALL APOCALYPSES; EVERYONE WILL DOUBLE LOSE.

I hate all of you.
Except for a few of you.

[Salsacookies]

cause everyone to sleep eternally

[Dutrius]

CONSTRUCT A PORTAL GUN

[Nunzillor]

MAKE HAPPY, RELAXING DANCING COMPULSORY UNDER PAIN OF DEATH.

[Fniff]

COMBINE LYEOS, COMRADE SHAMROCK, POKETO, AND MY AAP INTO ONE TO CREATE THE ULTRAMEGAAPOCAYLSPSE! WE WON'T GET THIS APOCALYSE ON THE ROAD IF WE CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW, DAMN THE NERVOUSNESS!