(I will assume that I just stood there with a deadpan look on my face throughout that entire sequence. And no legal guardian description? Worldbuildings feelin' kinda empty there. Maybe drawn would have gone better. Meh.)
(Post was rushed, sorry. Literally, I had be be gone 5 minutes before I posted if I wanted to not have an hour wait. Turns out my cough is normal, it's lingering onto day 9 because this cough usually lasts 10-14 days, so I'm doing OK as far as this cough is concerned)
(Elephant Parade)
-===> Lurk on FORUMS. Open PESTERCHUM since 6 birthdays is reason enough to bother.You open up your WEB BROWSER, Thor, and quickly navigate to your favorite FORUM, the LITERATURE DISCUSSION BOARD. You're technically a MODERATOR, and have responsibilities, but usually ignore them. Oh, look, about 40 REQUESTS to BAN-HAMMER some people. You decide to ignore them for now and open PESTERCHUM. Looks like all your friends have PESTERCHUM running right now, but only one is actually ON. You decide to PESTER her.
--elephantParade began pestering amphibiousAssassin at 9:41 AM 01/08/2034--
EP: [Hey, happy birthday.]
(The Froggy Ninja)
-===> Request a WRITTEN REPORT on the PROGRESS so far as well as COPIES of all COMPLETED or IN PROGRESS FILES for PROJECT INFRASTRUCTURE. Open PESTERCHUM.You already have PESTERCHUM open! It's the quickest and easiest way to contact your EMPLOYEES without going through the OFFICIAL RED TAPE. You will have to UNRAVEL some RED TAPE to get the WRITTEN REPORT and FILE COPIES, but that shouldn't take long. You open up your WEB BROWSER, Norn, and type up an OFFICIAL REQUEST.
Once done, you switch back to PESTERCHUM and see that one of your friends has come ON.
--elephantParade began pestering amphibiousAssassin at 9:41 AM 01/08/2034--
EP: [Hey, happy birthday.]
(Tiruin)
-===> Acquire MATERIAL GOODS from MAILMAN. RECIPROCATE with THANKFUL VERBAL GESTURES and wish him a NICE DAY (Along with anything else that needs doing). Go back to ROOM and call SIS. Bring both PARCEL and LETTER.The MAILMAN does not require a SIGNATURE for your LETTER. He does ASK for one for your SIS'S PARCEL. You EXCHANGE VERBAL GESTURES with him, and he walks away whistling a HAPPY TUNE.
Returning to your ROOM, you find your SIS has REDECORATED, turning your WALLS into BRIGHT BIRTHDAY COLORS. You can CHANGE THEM BACK by adjusting the ROOM-O-MATIC device, but decide to leave them for now. Dropping your SIS'S PARCEL onto a CHAIR, it BLURS AND VANISHES. Your SIS must be FAST as ever. You open the letter to find BETA KEYS for that GAME your friends keep PESTERING you about.
(Dermonster)
-===> INSTALLATION!You open up your WEB BROWSER of choice, Yaldabaoth, navigate to the SWURB website, type the BETA KEY CODE into the PROMPT, and start INSTALLATION of the SERVER PROGRAM. It takes a few HOURS, and while waiting, you think about PESTERING a FRIEND.
You also notice your LEGAL GUARDIAN trying to STEALTH into your ROOM and clean up your HORROR NOVELS. She is wearing her FLORAL DRESS again, and her hands are DIRTY from working in her GARDEN. Her hair is a MESS, reminiscent of some characters from your HORROR NOVELS that she is getting DIRT on.
(NAV)
-===> Put the COMPUTER on my DESK and PLUG it in. UPLOAD my PHOTOGRAPHS to the INTERNET.The computer is lightweight enough to hall it up the STAIRS to your ROOM, where you put it on your DESK. You note that it TURNS ON as soon as you PLUG it in, and CONNECTS to a MYSTERIOUS NETWORK somewhere nearby. You plug your CAMERA into the COMPUTER and start UPLOADING it's contents to the WEB. One of your LOYAL FANS immediately comments on how you must not have found the RARE PINK TIGER MOTH, and another COMPLIMENTS your NEW BUILD. For lack of a CHAIR, you drag a CHEST over to your DESK and sit on it.
(Jack A T)
-===> Open the PRESENT my MOTHER left.It's a... TOQUE. Yeah. Some sort of HAT for COLD WEATHER. You throw it on the PILE with the JACKETS and SCARVES you've already got from her today. Next she will probably bring you MITTENS. Or GLOVES.