Look for a door. Determine how big room is.
[5] You've located the door! It's in the north wall. The room's dimensions are 10x10x10 yards.
HELP COMMUNISM WIN COLD WAR
[3] You help them. The effects sadly seem to be negligible.
smash fist against time machine's control panel
[3] A smashed control panel: acquired!
Break out using tactical hitler.
[5] You've successfully used the tactical hitler on the box! Unfortunately, it seems to be impervious to tactical hitlers. Humanity of 52014 has some really advanced materials, it seems. You'd need to find another age, more receptive to time travelers.
inject 3 whole marijuanas into the bloodstream of the first goat to ever b
[5] You go back in time approximately 10 000 years and do that. The goat promptly flips it's shit and fall from the mountain, killing it. Do you feel like a hero yet?
Go forward 2 years and kidnap Einstein, replacing him with a volleyball wearing a wacky wig
[4] You try to do that, but you discover that the Einstein is guarded by time police.
[6] You replace the entire time police with volleyballs, kidnapping Einstein in the process. Unfortunately, it means that in the future, time travel will never be discovered. Also, now you have a time police car on your tail.
Steal the best pancakes to ever be made - and EAT them.
[5] Apparently these pancakes have some...
substances in them.
[1] You lose your mind from eating the best pancakes ever.
Tame the wild time machine as if it were a horse.
[5] You're now riding on top of the time machine. You feel very silly.
Remove this game from the timeline
[6] Welp.
...
The timeline is now experiencing technical difficulties due to meta-game paradoxes.