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[Jopax]

Have a very short short story:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"A liberal muslim Jewish homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

'Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!'

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

'How old is this rock, pinhead?'

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied '4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian'
'Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now'
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the 'poor' (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named 'Small Government' flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi! Support the troops!"

[TheBiggerFish]

:face to the palm:

[GiglameshDespair]

How exactly do you smirk Jewishly?

[Jopax]

Only the Jews know that, same way that only Soviets can chuckle Sovietly obviously.

[Helgoland]

How exactly do you smirk Jewishly?

I'm guessing that the writer of that piece was going for 'below a big nose'.

[miauw62]

people havent heard about that?
it's basically the new navy seal copypasta :v

[Flying Dice]

"New"? That shit is older than the internet.

[GiglameshDespair]

Bagpipes have recently been played in space for the first time.

What a time to be alive.

[Akura]

Bagpipes have recently been played in space for the first time.

What a time to be alive.

Spoiler: The comments (click to show/hide)

I found this while uploading that.

[Helgoland]

The custom-fit door seems sensible, if slightly eccentric.

[TD1]

It's the proximity of the toilet to the door which is the design flaw, not the door itself.

[Reelya]

How exactly do you smirk Jewishly?

Of course, none of those people are actually Jewish to my knowledge.

Cartoons were never meant for children.

Those are fun tidbits, but anyone who freaks out about it is seriously over-reacting. Almost all of those sorts of jokes only make sense if you are able to decode the reference. If you e.g. hint at blowjobs or something, the kid has to already know about blowjobs to get it. In other words, kids aren't going to learn anything they don't already know about sex from those examples:

girl: "your fast, maybe too fast"
guy: "why thank y- ... heyyyyyy what's that supposed to mean!?"

Sure, we adults get what "he's too fast" means, but only because we already get the reference. Man, it would enlightening to see how a kid actually explains that line

[Cthulufaic]

How exactly do you smirk Jewishly?

Of course, none of those people are actually Jewish to my knowledge.
~snop~

As a jew, I can confirm that none of those people are included in our secret meetings Steven Colbert looks like if he couldn't decide if he wanted to fuck you or to throw up in your face.

[Reelya]

Read this today in a 4-koma manga (read panels/captions right-to-left, then down)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Aklyon]

This post.