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[Rolepgeek]

Use a tiny MC. Escher painting, and give it a face.

[Cheesecake]

You could use Hieronymus Bosch's demons as inspiration for Malal daemons. In my opinion, it looks like a Khorne daemon like Tack said (with the scales, the horns and the big sword).

Maybe Malal daemons?

Maybe use a Great Unclean One, paint it black and white, and have corpses of other daemons strewn around its mouth.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Lesser Chaos God Writing Project

Times are tough in the grim, dark future of the 41st Millennium, and you might be forgiven for starting to think that maybe this whole Emperor and Imperium thing isn't quite all it's cracked up to be. I mean, you won't actually be forgiven for that. They'll fucking kill you for even thinking that. Seriously, Corpse-God worshipers are pretty ok at galaxy conquest (so long as all the work is done for them before losing their leader and becoming zealots) but there's pretty clearly not a lot going on up there.

What's a poor human like yourself to do in this situation? You wake up and get exploited by the Administratum, you go to church and get exploited by the Ecclesiarchy, you get beaten for the fifth time this week and get exploited by the Arbites, you go home but your family aren't there because there's been a servitor shortage and you get exploited by the Mechanicum...on and on until you eventually get killed and probably didn't completely deserve it. The guy who wrote "it is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable" wasn't kidding, the Imperium just plain sucks.

Really, there's only one other way for a human to survive in this modern galaxy of ours, and that's to become an honored Gue'vesa of the enlightened and superior Tau Empire throw caution to the grox and grasp at the infinite power within the Eight-Point Star. That's right baby, I'm talking about Chaos. Not chaos, you aren't an edgy teenager, being edgy is illegal in the Imperium. Chaos, true Chaos, is a power all its own, a disorganized set that transcends time and space.

But while the power of Chaos is very real and can definitely grant you immortality and things beyond your wildest dreams, even that has a bunch of conformist mainstream posers who'd probably be exactly like the Imperium. I am, of course, talking about the Big Four and their weird fake-new age Undivided bullshit sideliners. Why would you want anything to do with that? Khorne straight up admits he's going to kill you unless you are a huge dick to everyone, all the time, every day, forever. Tzeentch is just made of anxiety and is exactly like that guy you know who thinks he's some genius protagonist when really he just ruins everything and embarrasses people with how obviously out of touch he is. But even that is better than Nurgle, who seriously has the most deluded evangelism strategy ever. "Let's all be covered in shit all the time, but it's alright because we're a family and all going to die." Just fucking what? As for Slaanesh...you probably should just go ahead and give the whole Tau thing another look if you think that's a good idea, much less eternal torment and at least a comparable amount of perversion.

If you're gonna rebel against the tyranny of the Corpse-God, you should at least pick a patron who isn't at best a little better for you in only the immediate short term. Fortunately, the realm of Chaos is infinite, and while the posers make up a great deal of it there are others available to consider. We're not just talking any planetary daemon cult here, we're talking about some full fledged warp deities, and not Malal, who is so irrelevant that even the first of the ten truly chaotic deities is better than him(?) at being your patron.

Which is saying something, because that guy is the god of not having a god.

[Xantalos]

Necoho for the win, obviously.

[Cheesecake]

Lesser Chaos God: Tziintch the God of Second Thoughts.

He was originally a greater daemon of Tzeentch, but on second thought decided to become his own Chaos God. His low fanbase cult numbers can be attributed to the fact that most of them change their mind at the last second and serve the other Gods.

[TempAcc]

Wasn't there some sort of really old and discontinued model for Malal daemons for Warhammer Fantasy? You can prob find some around on the internet. And anyway, there was a bit of lore around about the daemons that follow the sons of malice around just being normal daemons from the regular chaos gods given a black and white colour scheme and some minor features, like having chains attached to them or whatnot. GW probably just went "shit, we don't want to bring all that old malal material back, that stuff was whack, so we'll just throw this in and give those malal dweebs a reason to buy more normal daemons".

[Grim Portent]

Wasn't there some sort of really old and discontinued model for Malal daemons for Warhammer Fantasy? You can prob find some around on the internet. And anyway, there was a bit of lore around about the daemons that follow the sons of malice around just being normal daemons from the regular chaos gods given a black and white colour scheme and some minor features, like having chains attached to them or whatnot. GW probably just went "shit, we don't want to bring all that old malal material back, that stuff was whack, so we'll just throw this in and give those malal dweebs a reason to buy more normal daemons".

The only GW model dedicated to Malal that I know of was a Chaos Ogre character from the 80s.

[Kot]

What's a poor human like yourself to do in this situation? You wake up and get exploited by the Administratum, you go to church and get exploited by the Ecclesiarchy, you get beaten for the fifth time this week and get exploited by the Arbites, you go home but your family aren't there because there's been a servitor shortage and you get exploited by the Mechanicum...on and on until you eventually get killed and probably didn't completely deserve it. The guy who wrote "it is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable" wasn't kidding, the Imperium just plain sucks.

All of this is pure bullshiiiit, maybe except that getting killed part and the Ecclesiarchy, but it's still vastly better than it was during Goge Vandire reign and a lot depends on your local Ecclesiarch sanity and his Temple Tendency. Administratum doesn't actually deal in anything a regular person could be concerned with, they gather tithes off the planetary government and don't give a shit about your existence as long as the whole planet pays taxes to them. Ecclesiarchy doesn't even have much to exploit you for, and Arbites don't even work this way, since they're basically space FBI, so unless you did something really nasty or got their attention in any other way, they would not even look at you. And they don't beat people for no reason (though, to be honest, they require very little reason to do so), and I'm not exactly sure how they would be supposed to exploit you. Mechanicus tend to not kidnap people for servitors, as much as people suspect them of it, mainly because people suspect them of it, and a lot of other organizations (including mentioned Administratum (because Governor goes to them crying that Mechanicus kill his taxpayers which means no taxes and that means IMPERIAL GUARD TO THE RESCUE!), Ecclesiarchy (THIS DOESN'T BENEFIT US AT ALL, AND IS ALSO PRETTY HERETICAL FOR SURE), Arbites (They're allowed to only servitor fucking CRIMINALS, and if they do it with anyone else, they're fucking CRIMINALS, TIME FOR SOME EMP "RIOT CONTROL" WEAPONS) and the Mechanicus itself (FUCKING HELL NOT THIS "MECHANICUS KIDNAPPING CHILDREN WITH CANDY VANS" SHIT AGAIN, NOBODY TRUSTS US ANYWAY BECAUSE OF ALL THE TENTACLES)) would get really angry. And if you finally get killed, it's proably either you totally deserved it for heretical thoughts or actually didin't deserve it but it's not really Imperium fault, after all, they did everything to protect you from the xeno/heretic/whatever invasion.

Really, there's only one other way for a human to survive in this modern galaxy of ours, and that's to remain loyal citzen of Imperium.

FTFY. Tau lobotomize you in a way that is only slightly better than becoming a servitor (or maybe even worse, since it leaves the memories) and they exploit you even more than anything in Imperium simply because you're human, not Tau. And Chaos is... Chaos. Seriously, to think that it's better, you have to be vastly delusional, I mean, Chaos either requires you to go on murder rampages or become edgy nerd or makes you get all kinds of space-aids or casually rapes you in all holes with barbed tentacles.  And the rest of them don't even actually exist or hold no power at all. Of course, if that's you thing, feel free, but don't convice people it's better because you WILL get shot. Actually, it's too late for you, *BLAM*!

As for the Malal deamon thigns going on...
1d4Chan for the inspiration rescue, as always. Check the gallery on bottom.

[Cheesecake]

I always believed life in the Imperium doesn't suck as much as it's made out to be. Unless you live in an underhive, a death world, or are conscripted into the Guard.

Most worlds have auspexes, so medical issues are probably pretty easy to solve. Probably really painful, but you'll live. Plus cybernetics everywhere.

Grox are the best foodsource available: they can thrive with literally rocks and soil, and are super nutritious. (They are super violent though, but they probably use servitors or such to handle them)

The low level of education is probably a mercy to the everyday human. Bad for morale to know which of the hundred sex toys torture tools a Dark Eldar would use, or how the daemons will tear apart your soul and feast on it after your death.

Of course, if you're one of the unfortunate humans who lives in the cruelest and bloodiest regime imaginable, you won't be living in that regime for long

[Kot]

I'm not sure what the exact life expectancy is in Imperium, since it's surely dragged down by military and the underhives and poorest of the poorest and whatnot, but you can easily live to hundred years or even few hundred if you're especially useful or rich, so someone either funds you cybernetics and whatnot or you buy them yourself. In other words - if you're not a worthless piece of lazy shit, you could actually find life in Imperium not that really bad, and you would surely live quite a long time, of course unless you get stabbed by heretics or something.

[Grim Portent]

Grox are the best foodsource available: they can thrive with literally rocks and soil, and are super nutritious. (They are super violent though, but they probably use servitors or such to handle them)

They lobotomise them, except the breeding males, so they become placid and manageable. Was mentioned in Dark Heresy or something, been a while since I read it and I don't have a copy handy.

[TempAcc]

Rich nobles likely live several hundred years with the right implants and cybernetics. The best chance a non rich 40k person has of living beyond the normal human lifespan is by either becoming a techpriest or being on a space marine recruiting world and surviving the training. The only other way would be working with chaos and somehow making the chaos gods like you enough to gift you with something that would allow you to live longer than normal humans, and daemonhood, altough lately that only seems availiable to renegade space marines, since it takes literal ages of service to chaos (or being a primarch) to become worthy of daemonhood.
Has any normal human ever ascended to daemonhood? I mean, normal in the biological sense? The only one I can thnk of is Doombreed, who  is implied to have been Ghengis Khan.

And yea, Grox are pretty much super cattle. They can survive on the harshest environments and their meat remains both nutritious and delicious, and their leather makes pretty decent armor.

[Kot]

Rich nobles likely live several hundred years with the right implants and cybernetics. The best chance a non rich 40k person has of living beyond the normal human lifespan is by either becoming a techpriest or being on a space marine recruiting world and surviving the training. The only other way would be working with chaos and somehow making the chaos gods like you enough to gift you with something that would allow you to live longer than normal humans, and daemonhood, altough lately that only seems availiable to renegade space marines, since it takes literal ages of service to chaos (or being a primarch) to become worthy of daemonhood.

It is mentioned that you can have your lifespan extended if you're useful. I'm not exactly sure, but I think at least bunch of the Imperial Guard higher-ups and more popular Comissars and Inquisitors totally have lived for looong, long time. I vaguely remember that there was Administratum clerk who was so good at managing the paperwork of certain planet that they made him live few hundred years simply because it was cheaper than trying to make someone else do it.
Also, you can totally become rich in Wh40k during one lifespan, so there's that.

[Dorsidwarf]

What's a poor human like yourself to do in this situation? You wake up and get exploited by the Administratum, you go to church and get exploited by the Ecclesiarchy, you get beaten for the fifth time this week and get exploited by the Arbites, you go home but your family aren't there because there's been a servitor shortage and you get exploited by the Mechanicum...on and on until you eventually get killed and probably didn't completely deserve it. The guy who wrote "it is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable" wasn't kidding, the Imperium just plain sucks.

All of this is pure bullshiiiit, maybe except that getting killed part and the Ecclesiarchy, but it's still vastly better than it was during Goge Vandire reign and a lot depends on your local Ecclesiarch sanity and his Temple Tendency. Administratum doesn't actually deal in anything a regular person could be concerned with, they gather tithes off the planetary government and don't give a shit about your existence as long as the whole planet pays taxes to them. Ecclesiarchy doesn't even have much to exploit you for, and Arbites don't even work this way, since they're basically space FBI, so unless you did something really nasty or got their attention in any other way, they would not even look at you. And they don't beat people for no reason (though, to be honest, they require very little reason to do so), and I'm not exactly sure how they would be supposed to exploit you. Mechanicus tend to not kidnap people for servitors, as much as people suspect them of it, mainly because people suspect them of it, and a lot of other organizations (including mentioned Administratum (because Governor goes to them crying that Mechanicus kill his taxpayers which means no taxes and that means IMPERIAL GUARD TO THE RESCUE!), Ecclesiarchy (THIS DOESN'T BENEFIT US AT ALL, AND IS ALSO PRETTY HERETICAL FOR SURE), Arbites (They're allowed to only servitor fucking CRIMINALS, and if they do it with anyone else, they're fucking CRIMINALS, TIME FOR SOME EMP "RIOT CONTROL" WEAPONS) and the Mechanicus itself (FUCKING HELL NOT THIS "MECHANICUS KIDNAPPING CHILDREN WITH CANDY VANS" SHIT AGAIN, NOBODY TRUSTS US ANYWAY BECAUSE OF ALL THE TENTACLES)) would get really angry. And if you finally get killed, it's proably either you totally deserved it for heretical thoughts or actually didin't deserve it but it's not really Imperium fault, after all, they did everything to protect you from the xeno/heretic/whatever invasion.

Really, there's only one other way for a human to survive in this modern galaxy of ours, and that's to remain loyal citzen of Imperium.

FTFY. Tau lobotomize you in a way that is only slightly better than becoming a servitor (or maybe even worse, since it leaves the memories) and they exploit you even more than anything in Imperium simply because you're human, not Tau. And Chaos is... Chaos. Seriously, to think that it's better, you have to be vastly delusional, I mean, Chaos either requires you to go on murder rampages or become edgy nerd or makes you get all kinds of space-aids or casually rapes you in all holes with barbed tentacles.  And the rest of them don't even actually exist or hold no power at all. Of course, if that's you thing, feel free, but don't convice people it's better because you WILL get shot. Actually, it's too late for you, *BLAM*!

As for the Malal deamon thigns going on...
1d4Chan for the inspiration rescue, as always. Check the gallery on bottom.

Smells like noblebright to me

[sprinkled chariot]

I certainly remember one story incuding the arbites breaking into bar, beating everyone with shock maces and then : woo, you have won adeptus mechanicus lottery, you won right to serve as slave-workers to fuel ark mechanicus ship, yay!
It is not something I would like to happen, when I go to bar.
Also  in imperium even  inquisitors( or whole fucking ordos of inquisition, primarchs and space marine legions) have tendency of dissapearing without trace. It does not seem that much of a problem for mechanicus to abduct people without leaving that much evidence.