Lesser Chaos God Writing Project
Times are tough in the grim, dark future of the 41st Millennium, and you might be forgiven for starting to think that maybe this whole Emperor and Imperium thing isn't quite all it's cracked up to be. I mean, you won't actually be forgiven for that. They'll fucking kill you for even thinking that. Seriously, Corpse-God worshipers are pretty ok at galaxy conquest (so long as all the work is done for them before losing their leader and becoming zealots) but there's pretty clearly not a lot going on up there.
What's a poor human like yourself to do in this situation? You wake up and get exploited by the Administratum, you go to church and get exploited by the Ecclesiarchy, you get beaten for the fifth time this week and get exploited by the Arbites, you go home but your family aren't there because there's been a servitor shortage and you get exploited by the Mechanicum...on and on until you eventually get killed and probably didn't completely deserve it. The guy who wrote "it is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable" wasn't kidding, the Imperium just plain sucks.
Really, there's only one other way for a human to survive in this modern galaxy of ours, and that's to
become an honored Gue'vesa of the enlightened and superior Tau Empire throw caution to the grox and grasp at the infinite power within the Eight-Point Star. That's right baby, I'm talking about Chaos. Not chaos, you aren't an edgy teenager, being edgy is illegal in the Imperium. Chaos, true Chaos, is a power all its own, a disorganized set that transcends time and space.
But while the power of Chaos is very real and can definitely grant you immortality and things beyond your wildest dreams, even that has a bunch of conformist mainstream posers who'd probably be exactly like the Imperium. I am, of course, talking about the Big Four and their weird fake-new age Undivided bullshit sideliners. Why would you want anything to do with that? Khorne straight up admits he's going to kill you unless you are a huge dick to everyone, all the time, every day, forever. Tzeentch is just made of anxiety and is exactly like that guy you know who thinks he's some genius protagonist when really he just ruins everything and embarrasses people with how obviously out of touch he is. But even that is better than Nurgle, who seriously has the most deluded evangelism strategy ever. "Let's all be covered in shit all the time, but it's alright because we're a family and all going to die." Just fucking what? As for Slaanesh...you probably should just go ahead and give the whole Tau thing another look if you think that's a good idea, much less eternal torment and at least a comparable amount of perversion.
If you're gonna rebel against the tyranny of the Corpse-God, you should at least pick a patron who isn't at best a little better for you in only the immediate short term. Fortunately, the realm of Chaos is infinite, and while the posers make up a great deal of it there are others available to consider. We're not just talking any planetary daemon cult here, we're talking about some full fledged warp deities, and not Malal, who is so irrelevant that even the first of the ten truly chaotic deities is better than him(?) at being your patron.
Which is saying something, because that guy is the god of not having a god.