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[Kagus]

Homoerotic Manbaby 1: "Do you hear that?"

*Bird chirps in background

Homoerotic Manbaby 2: *Holds wirecutters seductively "...no? I don't hear anything."

*Bird chirps in background

HMB1: "Exactly. There's nothing. That's what got me spooked earlier."

*Bird chirps in background

HMB1: "No animals, no birds, no insects- nothing."

*Bird chirps in background


EDIT:

HMB3: "It makes sense! Extraterrestrials would engage in countermeasures!"


EDIT2:

HMB1 looks like some sort of Value brand fusion of Tom Cruise and Ben Affleck. There is something extremely unsettling about how little his facial features want to be near each other.

HMB2, AKA Cardbeard the SEALpirate, continues making statements that would get Freud's nipples to harden within milliseconds.

HMB3 seems perpetually terrified of everything, except how poorly he's rolled his sleeves up (which if he were a real soldier, he would be scared of)

HMB4 is token black man and I would bet multiple articles of clothing in strip-filmcritique on him being the first to die... If we were playing strip-filmcritique. He's also doing a terrible job of being the token black person who is black, as he made it painfully clear that he can't even follow the beat of some simple elevator music.


First important non-HMB character has just been introduced as token attractive woman. Like any scientist working full-time in an underground lab, she has fantastic hair.

EDIT3: Everyone has really really loud feet.


EDIT4: ...no. No. NO. NO NO NO. NO.

NO.

EDIT5:

Token Attractive Woman (who is a scientist): "Evolution is linear, it moves in a straight line"

HMB3: "Yeah, she's right! It's not surprising that they're bipedal!"

[McTraveller]

Just watched Ready or Not.  I was hoping for a better twist at the end, but it was fun enough.

"What happened to you!?"
"In-laws."

[delphonso]

Token Attractive Woman (who is a scientist): "Evolution is linear, it moves in a straight line"

HMB3: "Yeah, she's right! It's not surprising that they're bipedal!"

Well I'm sold.

[King Zultan]

Just started watching "Alien Warfare" (2019) on Netflix.

The more I hear about this movie the more I need to see if its as bad as you say it is.

[Yoink]

I really wanna re-watch Apocalypse Now but it is no longer on Netflix.   
Same goes for Restrepo, a war documentary I watched the start of once and never got around to finishing. Darn.   

[Kagus]

"Alien Warfare" (2019)

Every time I thought I'd seen all that this beautiful disaster had to offer, it turned around and caught me off-guard once again.

The occasional interjections of "comic relief" that were shoved in on top of something already so absurd that these moments catapulted themselves into the realm of self-satire.

The "Faraday suit" (which is actually a thing {just not that thing})

HMB1: "Dammit I'm a Navy SEAL, not a janitor!

HMB1: "..."

HMB1: "Wait, I'm a Navy SEAL!"

The fact that HMB3 apparently never came down from that obviously bad trip he was experiencing throughout all the scenes where he was supposed to show any kind of urgency.

TAW: [excitedly] "Fibonacci sequence!"

HMB3: [excitedly] "Fibonacci sequence!!"

The fact that nobody in this movie understands doors.

The super high-tech helmets that were made out of windscreen sealant and mosquito netting, with the visors in the wrong place.

The Matrix homage where someone lifts their hand up and stops a bunch of bullets in mid-air, except the effect is slightly ruined by him wearing a cozy snowsuit mitten.

Also the hand gesture was entirely unnecessary, because the bullet shield is just permanently active anyways.

HMB1: [watching security cam footage of hostiles leisurely walking around in some grass and twirling a couple sticks]

HMB1: [nodding] "Tactical. Definitely military."

The way HMB1 sensually rubs his nipple to communicate with the rest of the team while wearing the Faraday suit^TM.

The way three highly-trained SEALs effortlessly handled every side of breaching an unknown double-door with a window in the middle: Left side, right side, and inside.

The brothers who unironically constantly refer to each other as "bro".

[Yoink]

Dang, dude. That's starting to sound like it could almost rival the absolute glory of Rock and Roll Space Patrol.   

[Iduno]

"Alien Warfare" (2019)

Ok, at this point, you've got enough quotes to just do the toss all of your thoughts in a spoiler (a live play?) like I did with Ready Player One, except it sounds like a better movie.


Edit: And have I mentioned There is No Authority But Yourself here? It's a Dutch documentary about a British band, so you might want subtitles even if you nominally speak the same language, but it was intentionally released for free.

Edit2: It's a 2009 documentary, and I can't find a link to any English subtitled versions or subtitle files (VLC player can add subtitle files to the video easily)? Let us know if someone can find one.

[Kagus]

"Alien Warfare" (2019)

Ok, at this point, you've got enough quotes to just do the toss all of your thoughts in a spoiler (a live play?) like I did with Ready Player One, except it sounds like a better movie.

Oh no. That's not all of it. There's so much more, things that I don't even have the words to describe. I can't.



I also watched Hungerford, which is also on Netflix. But that's just your bog-standard bad. The kind of bad that's so bad it's bad, not the kind that's so bad it becomes magnificent.

I'm convinced Hungerford only exists so that the Director/Writer/Producer/Star could have not one, but two(!) girls say that they loved him. ...and, honestly, the fact that one of them managed to actually sound convincing when she said it just goes to prove that she's far too good of an actor to have any business being stuck in a movie like Hungerford.

[Yoink]

Just watched Catch Me If You Can. First time I've seen it, somehow.
Definitely a great film, but good gods that ending was depressing.

[Reelya]

Well, it turns out they can catch him. But think about this, there are probably better con artists out there, but they didn't get caught, so they don't have a movie about those guys. So, no shit the con-artist they made a movie about does get caught. Of course he does otherwise they wouldn't know his story for the movie.

Same thing goes for serial killers. Just about every movie/doco going into the "mind of a serial killer" does in fact suffer from selection bias: it's only looking into common traits of serial killers who got caught. Most serial killers who leave an obvious trail of bloody destruction behind them end up getting caught, but there are a lot more missing people every year than that.

[Yoink]

That wasn't the depressing part, we knew he was gonna get caught from the start, considering it was told in flash-back. Him going to work with the FBI to ruin the lives of others was the depressing part.
His father would have been spinning in his grave*.
...Wait, should this stuff be in a spoiler? Or am I the last person on Earth to see this movie?


* though apparently their relationship was pretty much entirely fictionalised anyway.

[Iduno]

That wasn't the depressing part, we knew he was gonna get caught from the start, considering it was told in flash-back. Him going to work with the FBI to ruin the lives of others was the depressing part.
His father would have been spinning in his grave*.
...Wait, should this stuff be in a spoiler? Or am I the last person on Earth to see this movie?


* though apparently their relationship was pretty much entirely fictionalised anyway.

Yeah, I agree with that. Good movie otherwise.

[Eschar]

Watched Scott Pilgrim vs The World

"In other words, being vegan just makes you better than most people."

[Iduno]

The best part of Avengers is when

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

they tell you Joss Weadon made it, so you know who to blame.