Only applies to deadly melee weapons. And doesn't work to catch the handle, you can only get the blade / head.
oh, so your standard "enchanted item cursed to remove all possible uses" item. booooooooring
Shoes of running: Enchanted to make the runner super fast. Except, they are made of tungsten, are three feet long and two wide, and weigh six tons each. do not grant bonuses to strength. do not fit large creatures. cannot be worn by abnormally strong creatures.
Cape of invisibility: When worn, the cape is invisible. Anything it is worn on is not. Cape provides no bonuses against attacks, nor even the slightest protection against rain, etc.
Sword of not slicing:Supernaturally sharp, but when the edge approaches any object, or any object approaches the edge, the blade phase shifts into a void realm.
Matchsticks of sogginess: Perfect firestarters, if only they weren't perpetually damp. Not damp enough to provide moisture for anythign useful. Just, damp enough to bend and break any time someone uses them.
Genius Rock: A supergenius mind, in the body of a rock. Immune to telepathy and astral projection. Mute, deaf, and blind. It's a rock. But it's reeeaaaaallllly smart. Trust me.
Magic wand of everything is exactly the same as before you waved it:This wand can cast literally any spell. But, all spell effects are immediately undone upon effect, as the universe simply steps back to the precise moment before the wand is waved. The magic within the wand is spent and requires one round to recharge.
Crystal eyes of failed spot checks every time you fail a spot check, the crystal eyes give you an extra roll. But that roll is an automaticfail.
Sands of time:Have absolute control over the flow of time. But time is fixed, and all objects and persons are fixed in time. therefore, no sapient creature has any way of interacting with the flow of time.
Omnipotent embers: small flecks of a flammable material that, when thrown into a fire, become omnipotent as they burn. They are nonsentient though, so who gives a shit? Immune to external influences beyond the natural physics of burning and aerodynamics and shit.
Mighty Gloves of Mighty supermight. The wearer becomes super duper super strong. But the strongerthe wearer, the heavier the gloves. Except, like Thor's hammer, it's more like the gloves become fixed in position. the wearer does not, and any external force will knock them right out of hte gloves.
The unkilling poison:THe most deadly poison ever invented ever anywhere. as long as it sits in it's vial and nothing is placed into the vial with it. Once removed from teh vial, becomes the same quantity of ordinary water.
Overly Nerfed Gun of Awesome ExplosionsCreates the most baddass explosions ever, but only in the void realm where nothing else is. Void realm is unimpressed. Gun can only be wielded by blind deaf mute midgets of below average intelligence or less.
Spell book of forgetting spend an hour memorizing your spells. Forget them immediately
super epic ring of invulnerability You become invulnerable on command. This is achieved by causing you to freeze in time. Completely. No time passes, for you or anyone else, for a duration known only to the ring. Once the effect ends, everything continues exactly as it was before.
seriously, these "Epic item of supernerfed pointlessness" items are cheap. you aren't inventing fun useless or silly items: you are inventing useful items that you then must nerf to make them stupid. booooooooring. If you have to add restrictions on your item to prevent usefulness, the item is not useless.
Ring of anniversaries:Reminds you of random anniversaries. "That leaf is one year old tomorrow!" "The Grand Duchy of Albian's Head maid at the Castel of Dunmoore washed her hair in the sink in the servant's quarters three hundred and seventeen years ago today!" "An unnamed bear in the Forest of Great Gloom pooped on a stick last year!"
Author
Topic: Bizarre Magical Items (Read 86661 times)