Try to see if there are any knives lying around and take the least risky sounding job.
[3]
You grab a knife and try to sign up for the job. Denied.
"Ah... I guess we are... uh, I'm going to admit I'm not quite certain who you are. Things have been a blur for the past while."
[4]
"Huh... oh well... idiot. You saved me from that bandit camp. I went in to save the others but there were too many of them, and then you turned up and saved us all..."
Put on my ring of polymorph control and zap myself with the wand of polymorph and polymorph into an yellow dragon.
[1]
You are now a toad.
No. Freaky shit is going to happen. Wait for it.
[2]
You're in a jail cell.
When time moves on, changing all things and reducing them to dust, the West shall endure...
While the madman continues his centuries-long toil in the hidden lab, a subplot develops in this strange place!
[5]
Ugh, fine.
You wake up inside a barn.
Use Vespene Gas instead.
[3]
You still need more stuff.
Oy Slowpoke, wanna gang up on those gods?
Use artifact powers to bring into existence a fondue for the soldiers. Gotta keep morale up.
[6]
Yaaaaaa- there are cheese demons in the fondue
Go see what's behind Door Number "Exit"
[4]
An unstable-looking staircase. The stairs down have broken off, and lie in a mangled pile on the ground.
GET SOME BEANLESS CHILE THAT IS MEATY
[6]
Your invasion of Chile is thwarted by the Chilean military.
Fly to a safe, secluded place still within this 'verse where I can use the Nanoforge without being distracted.
[6]
You fly into a black hole. Fuck.
All: FIGHT THE FALSE GOD SLOWPOKE AND HIS DISCIPLE HELGOLAND. WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER XENAGOS RUNNING AROUND.
((I request fourteen rolls.))
[5]
Granted, the gods get into combat stances.
PUNCH SELF IN FACE
All: FIGHT THE FALSE GOD SLOWPOKE AND HIS DISCIPLE HELGOLAND. WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER XENAGOS RUNNING AROUND.
DEFENESTRATE ASSAILANTS
THEN PUNCH SELF IN FACE
Oy Slowpoke, wanna gang up on those gods?
sure thing yo
can you go secure more allies thanks
[4]
You join up with the potato defence forces.
(( Hey Slowpoke! BlitzDungeoneer! You should play my Cheesistan Roll to Dodge! It's like my other one, except it actually gets updates! Link: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=138012.2160 ))
Sorta just like WaoA, without the demented GM and the multiverse (which is all the fun lol)
Mmm... It also has a Wiki, a somewhat more coherent plot, more cheese, less potatoes, and a government that exists only when convenient for the story.
Giegue: Find more "volunteers" to experiment on.
[5]
You rock up at the artifact battle.
CONVINCE THAT CHOOZE TOO DELICIOUS TO BE ILLEGAL
BRIBE EVERYONE WITH CHOOZE
[2]
NO
>After spending many turns of reading the blueprints, build a megastructure atop all the other fallen buildings, using the knowledge of architecture so that it does not fall down.
[6]
Because you didn't use a stable base, it falls down.
KEEP PUNCHING
[2]
You get knocked out.
HEY! Alright, everyone participating in the artifact battle, LISTEN UP!By virtue of being on this battlefield, there is no return. People will die. Some will be disfigured, and in some cases, lasting friendships will be made. And as usual, no nut shots. That's dog.
When I fart, start fighting!