Search the Multiverse for such a wheel.
"Fuck that, I'll get ssssomeone elsssse to do it."
[4]
You find a cheese wheel. It's not the best cheese, but it's big enough.
You find it. It is potatoes/m2
hehehehehehehheheheh
The more I try to make sense of this, the less it does, and the more it does. Apparently I just proved time to be two-dimensional instead of one. This is great, as it makes time travel simpler, by paradoxically making time more complex. As I understand it, this means I can use potatoes as a base for a time "machine".
Pick some of the conveniently taken-over-the-world potatoes and lay them out in a pattern to maximize covered area. Focus psionic energy into potatoes. Stabilize time from warping too much. Absorb time control powers. I can think a thousand ways this might go wrong, but I must try this out.
[3]
Rift open. You're rapidly losing control.
Build a dapper tomb for my dapper dead baby terror bird
[6]
It's quite dapper, and it attracts a following.
ACCUSE GM OF CHEATING WITH MY ROLLS SINCE HE DOES NOT WANT HIS POTATOES BECOMING VODKA
[1]
LIES AND FANTASIES!
Continue War of Human Pacification. Mutations & tech are a bonus.
[1]
The humans whip out the flamethrowers. Oh dear. Potato casualties are massive.
GET HER OFF... And don't look. That'll only get me beaten more.
[2]
Blue's fully embraces this course of events and jumps you. You can't help but look.
"You fucking..."
You should probably run.
Prepare a pot of mashed potatoes while in the potato dimension.
[6]
You make the ultimate mash potato.
The denizens of that dimension have been attracted.
Start expanding the Raptorial Space Empire. Avoid direct confrontation with potatoes while slowly pushing back their sphere of influence.
[6]
You rapidly expand. You then make contact with an alien civilization, and they are highly paranoid.
Unfreeze myself. Assasinate the CEO fo some big company and take his place.
[1]
You're still frozen.
Conquer the world!
[2]
You can't do that, potatoes are already trying to take over the world.
Create a violin. Perform 'I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL' on it in a dapper manner.
[5]
Badass mental imaaaaaage
You have fans! Winning!