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[Playergamer]

Grumble grumble grumble. Prepare the military.

[SOLDIER First]

Eat the cheese.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Sniff cheese, combine with potato.

[WillowLuman]

"So, who are you? And thanks for the rescue, but why would you save a big meat-monster?"

[smurfingtonthethird]

((Oh wait, thats me, lol))

Big meat what? You're a rad-guy wearing a suit. I put your portable console under your bed. The hell were you doing in the Elephantophis wastes?

[WillowLuman]

(Damn, that color is hard to read!)
"Wait, Elephantophis wastes? ...Is this that Dark dimension, home of the tea-god's city?"

[kj1225]

But what about people who don't like cheese? Why not cheese for no one? That should be just as much celebration then.

Eat some cheese.

[smurfingtonthethird]

((Ehh, someone got it. Very nice.))

(Damn, that color is hard to read!)
"Wait, Elephantophis wastes? ...Is this that Dark dimension, home of the tea-god's city?"

((Using darkling, adjusting))

"Hell is a dark city? As far as I remember, this is the ruins of Brisbane. Elephantophis was a mini-nation that sprouted just before the bombs went off."

[WillowLuman]

"Well, that's a relief. I'd just been at the ruins of the Assylum, you know, before this nasty interdimensional business. I take it this territory connected with Elephant Parade?"

[smurfingtonthethird]

Her eyes widen. ((You've acquired main protagonist status!))

"Wait, the asylum where the ICBM went off just after the continental slagging, 10 years ago? How the hell did you survive that mess? It was like World War Three out there!  There are barely any survivors around here, anyway, and the few groups out there are paranoid as hell, one lead by a god cult, the other by a mage. If what I've heard on the HAM is right, that bomb started World War 3!"

"Wait, where did you come from? Are you part of that envoy group from the Caledonian Empire?"

[WillowLuman]

(Wait, I never set off the ICBM. I left it and just absconded with the CPU, remember? And no one else set it off with their actions. Unless...)

"Oh no no no. No no no no no. Don't tell me I'm in the future."

[smurfingtonthethird]

Alright, this future business greatly amuses me. If you wanna warp your char there, feel free.

"Future"

(Wait, I never set off the ICBM. I left it and just absconded with the CPU, remember? And no one else set it off with their actions. Unless...)

"Oh no no no. No no no no no. Don't tell me I'm in the future."

"Wh-What? You've got some explaining to do."

"Past"

Grumble grumble grumble. Prepare the military.

[1]

Your military is recuperating. They aren't too keen on the war business.

Eat the cheese.

[6]

You eat too much and vomit everywhere.

Sniff cheese, combine with potato.

[3]

"I am pleased with your progress! Here, you can have this spud cannon."

But what about people who don't like cheese? Why not cheese for no one? That should be just as much celebration then.

Eat some cheese.

[3]

"You've run a maze like a good little rat. But no cheese for you yet. Well, maybe a little."

[kj1225]

Go to the future.
USING DRUNK SCIENCE!

[SOLDIER First]

Eat the vomit.

[WillowLuman]

"Well, to make a long story short, all physics and logic are fucked."

She did not seem satisfied with this.

"Hmm... okay, well, about 10 years ago for you, all this madness started. There was a mass breakout of some very dangerous people. I was just a skull at the time, but I managed to cobble myself this here body out of a spare skeleton and the remains of some of Elephant Parade's followers. Then an insane computer tried to destroy Humanity. The ICBM it launched was shot down but did not explode, as did the escape pod it tried to use after all its forces turned on it. I salvaged its core from the pod and ran off, before winding up in some other dimension. I made my way out, back to the right place, but not, it seems, the right time."