Search around for anything that could make a passable shiv.
[5] You aren't able to make a shiv with the materials available, but this is irrelevant, since somebody left theirs laying around.
"Oh, really? Love this place. Always something new to do."
HADOKEN. Kill as many people as I can, whatever side they're on.
[3] You cast Hadoken, but it turns out... Wrong. You're distracted by your conversation with Battler, and after he declares that your magic is just laser pointers, you become angry. You focus on proving him wrong, that it isn't just laser pointers. Your fixation on laser pointers, however, causes you to instead summon a laser pointer.
Join forces with Black Mage, insert vast amounts of summoning magic into Hadouken.
[6]You inject your summoning magic into BM's Hadokun! This would appear to have manifested itself as a summoning a laser pointer. For rolling a six, you expected something more substantial.
The asylum intercom buzzes to life.
Greetings, Citizens! This is your Friend Computer speaking. Please be informed that due to suspected Communist insurgency random incinerations may occur. Please do not be alarmed, and take care to die promptly if incinerated. Have a nice day!
Set things on fire!
[1] One of your troubleshooters reports a Commie Mutant traitor's location! Acting quickly, you begin to incinerate that exact locations. It's only a few seconds later that you, in your infinite wisdom, notice that this would happen to be
your location. Your core is now on fire! You estimate that you have three more high-efficiency time keeping units, called "Rounds", to act before the fire melts through to your core systems.
((Battler's the name. Blame asshole parents and a crazy occultist grandfather.))
"I really shouldn't be here... All of these crazy bastards going around talking about magic, when everyone knows that there's no such thing. This is the kind of place that Grandfather should have been admitted to, but not me."
Explain to the black mage that no matter how much he yells, his 'magic' isn't going to be getting any more real. Dismiss all flashing lights as a collection of laser pointers kept up his robe.
((Not what I was expecting, but hey, I'll give it a shot.))
[2] Your explanation does little. He begins chanting strange words, and light surges forth from his hands. You begin to suspect that what they claim about magic is actually true, until the light subsides and you see that he's actually holding a laser pointer.
CONSUME BLACK MAGE FOR RITUALISTIC PURPOSES
[3]You attempt to eat black mage, presumably using divine powers. Things don't quite work out, but, well, you did consume a bit of his robe!
((...This is not what I pictured this RTD to be. I'd rather just out.))
Get out of the Mess Hall and improvise a weapon from nearby..
((Really. That setting. >_>))
You head towards the riot, and pick up a discarded and broken piece of piping along the way. Then, you think "Wait, no, screw this", and club yourself over the head. The corpse reforms into the avatar of WhitiusOpus.
Take on the Mage guy.
[-Turtle Slaps-]
Sorry, I had to.
You swoop towards BM as he begins casting Hadoken. After delivering a hearty turtleslap, you notice that he just summoned a laser pointer.