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Author Topic: FUCK YOU, DAD!: Not grading on a curve.  (Read 133881 times)

piecewise

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #600 on: January 29, 2014, 11:58:47 pm »

This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.

Buy a bear panda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!
+1
+ above

Hmm. Unfortunately, right around grate's second birthday, you spent most of your savings on blow so you're down to Some Dollars. NO MATTER! Let us sell grate's novel and make some cash!

[4]
It doesn't get the oprah book club sticker but it certainly sells well enough to give you LODES A' MONEY!

Now then, lets see about buying him a fucking panda. Well, china is all whiny about you buying their panders, especially when you're just gonna murder them as an offering to your literal god child. Hm. Where does one go if one wants to get something that is normally illegal for reasonable pric-MEXICO!

You head down to Tijuana and buy a panda  from one of the many back alley panda dealers that infest mexico's streets. He tells you "eeet is good panda, homes. Real pure. Not cut with polar bear or shit, yeah? Grade A fucking panda right there." You smuggle the panda back across the border, and then strangle it with a World Wildlife Fund T-shirt, just for added irony.

AND ALL THIS WORK NETS YOU FUCK ALL. GRATE IS TOO BUSY PLAYING DF TO EVEN NOTICE YOU THROTTLING AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL! DAMN YOU, LOIN SPAWN! DAMN YOU AND YOUR FANCY, HIGH TECH, ASCII BASED COMPUTER ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMS!



GRATE HAS BECOME MILDLY DEPRESSED!

Dappertude:0
Cynicismish:5
Businessness:-1
Determinational:2
Survivalous: 0
Sporties:0
Schooliouses:9

THREE ACTIVITIES LEFT!
 

Lightningfalcon

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #601 on: January 30, 2014, 12:07:53 am »

Well...  since having a dark god of business won't do us any good if he kills himself...
Buy him a cute teddy bear.  And some other stuffed animals.
THEN, once he is no longer depressed, we can do terrible things to them.   That way we knock out two birds with one purchase.   
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Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum circo vincendarum
W-we just... wanted our...
Actually most of the people here explicitly wanted chaos and tragedy. So. Uh.

mastahcheese

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #602 on: January 30, 2014, 12:11:45 am »

...Every once in a while, I check back in on this thread, and now we're strangling pandas while our child plays Dwarf Fortress and develops social disorders.

Anyway, back off I go...
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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Kadzar

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #603 on: January 30, 2014, 12:39:03 am »

I say we kidnap him some friends.
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smurfingtonthethird

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #604 on: January 30, 2014, 12:47:04 am »

Clone him or make him friends.

You head down to Tijuana and buy a panda  from one of the many back alley panda dealers that infest mexico's streets. He tells you "eeet is good panda, homes. Real pure. Not cut with polar bear or shit, yeah? Grade A fucking panda right there."

This is the funniest thing I've read all day.
EDIT: You've been trumped: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Adb-UMvGfM
« Last Edit: January 30, 2014, 12:54:51 am by smurfingtonthethird »
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HmH

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #605 on: January 30, 2014, 03:03:31 am »

Clone him or make him friends.
I say we kidnap him some friends.
+1. FRIENDS FOR THE FRIEND THRONE!

But I'd like to suggest an alternative anyway: Spike his DF with duplicate raws while he's not looking. There's nothing quite like damselfly megabeasts and child-stealing elephants to cheer you up.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2014, 03:05:47 am by HmH »
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Xantalos

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #606 on: January 30, 2014, 03:05:20 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #607 on: January 30, 2014, 03:31:43 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
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He knows how to fix River's tiredness.
Alan help.
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IronyOwl   But Kyuubey can more or less be summed up as "You didn't ask."
15:52   IronyOwl   Whereas Dungbeetle is closer to "Fuck you."

Xantalos

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #608 on: January 30, 2014, 03:32:16 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THIS
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

HmH

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #609 on: January 30, 2014, 03:35:31 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THIS
No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.

Xantalos

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #610 on: January 30, 2014, 03:37:16 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THIS
No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.
Do you want me to proposition that as a vote?
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #611 on: January 30, 2014, 03:39:20 am »

Wait.

Get Grate a subscription to EVE Online to increase his Businessness.
OH GOD NO PLEASE NO THATS TOO MUCH, JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT, NOT THAT! NEVER THAT!
YOU KNOW HIS POWER WILL INCREASE FROM THIS
No way, man. This is too cruel. Almost as cruel as telling Grate the full story of Obok Meatgod while he's still addicted to DF.
ITS EVE ONLINE FOR GODS SAKE, AT THE RATE HE'S GOING WITH BEAR FORTRESS HE WONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FEED HIMSELF!
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He knows how to fix River's tiredness.
Alan help.
Quote
IronyOwl   But Kyuubey can more or less be summed up as "You didn't ask."
15:52   IronyOwl   Whereas Dungbeetle is closer to "Fuck you."

Xantalos

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #612 on: January 30, 2014, 03:41:41 am »

Also but an intravenous feeding tube kit
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

superBlast

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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #613 on: January 30, 2014, 03:43:08 am »

+1 give him friends

and

Unplug his damn computer for a while. It won't make him happy but it'll get him pay attention to his new stupid little friends!
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Re: FUCK YOU, DAD!: WELCOME TO THE BEAROSPHERE!
« Reply #614 on: January 30, 2014, 03:47:21 am »

Also but an intravenous feeding tube kit
I am having the slightest feeling that nothing at all I'm saying is making an impact on you here.

Man, I'm being like the patented GWG voice of reason TM here, aren't i?
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He knows how to fix River's tiredness.
Alan help.
Quote
IronyOwl   But Kyuubey can more or less be summed up as "You didn't ask."
15:52   IronyOwl   Whereas Dungbeetle is closer to "Fuck you."
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