This was clearly a sign from the powers beyond human comprehension.
Buy a bear panda cub, sacrifice it to the Dark God Grate. Sell DFantasy novels for Lodes a' Money.
+1 to fantasy novel. As for the sacrifice, FTFY
Alright, yeah, that's a better idea. Bears for the bear god!
+1
+ above
Hmm. Unfortunately, right around grate's second birthday, you spent most of your savings on blow so you're down to Some Dollars. NO MATTER! Let us sell grate's novel and make some cash!
[4]
It doesn't get the oprah book club sticker but it certainly sells well enough to give you
LODES A' MONEY!Now then, lets see about buying him a fucking panda. Well, china is all whiny about you buying their panders, especially when you're just gonna murder them as an offering to your literal god child. Hm. Where does one go if one wants to get something that is normally illegal for reasonable pric-MEXICO!
You head down to Tijuana and buy a panda from one of the many back alley panda dealers that infest mexico's streets. He tells you "eeet is good panda, homes. Real pure. Not cut with polar bear or shit, yeah? Grade A fucking panda right there." You smuggle the panda back across the border, and then strangle it with a World Wildlife Fund T-shirt, just for added irony.
AND ALL THIS WORK NETS YOU FUCK ALL. GRATE IS TOO BUSY PLAYING DF TO EVEN NOTICE YOU THROTTLING AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL! DAMN YOU, LOIN SPAWN! DAMN YOU AND YOUR FANCY, HIGH TECH, ASCII BASED COMPUTER ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAMS!
GRATE HAS BECOME MILDLY DEPRESSED!
Dappertude:0
Cynicismish:5
Businessness:-1
Determinational:2
Survivalous: 0
Sporties:0
Schooliouses:9
THREE ACTIVITIES LEFT!
Author
Topic: FUCK YOU, DAD!: Not grading on a curve. (Read 134841 times)