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[mastahcheese]

('This message brought to you to say E/D would prevent and call the police on anyone who would attempt to do this to their toddler In real life and has full knowledge  of the dangers if, rhetorically, he or she decided to try to do this, and also has full knowledge there isn't anything in real life called boot camp for toddlers, that would be stupid.)

This is Bay12.
That doesn't we'll actually force breast-feeding mothers to walk to work by traversing a 1-tile bridge over repeating spike traps with a ballista pointed at them. Just that we like to perform thorough testing on the subject.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Make him a kung fu master (too lazy to +1)

[Empiricist]

Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.

+1

+1

Exactly what stat is this raising though? Also getting hold of viruses is expensive. And illegal. So even more expensive.

Determinational. Namely, keeping the will to live despite having their parent inject them with a weakened dose of anthrax.

[Flying Dice]

Force Grate to watch Kung Fu movies and to train. He must become strong!

I'll +1 this.

+1

+1

+1

If Grate can't roundhouse kick heads off by age six, he is a stain on his family name.

[poketwo]

Inoculate him against potential biological warfare agents such as anthrax and ebola. Do so by injecting him with attenuated strains of each bacteria/virus.

+1

+1
[/quote]
+1

[Yoink]

>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear. A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.

[Corsair]

+1 to kung fu

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!

Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.

[flame99]

Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!

Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.

I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:

Spoiler: Sword chucks, yo! (click to show/hide)

Our child shall channel the spirit of the greatest qualities of Black Mage, Red Mage, Fighter, and Thief. From BM he shall take a lust for chaos and death untold. From RM he shall take the ingeniousness to put it into action. From Fighter he shall take the necessary awesomeness to pull off anything along these lines. From Thief he will take the legal expertise to not only not get persecuted for his probably countless crimes, but get the victim imprisoned via law ninjas.

[Gamerlord]

PTW.

[BFEL]

+1 to Kung Fu

>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear. A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.

Though this should totally be the next turn.

((And we know you don't teach kung fu to infants in RL. You start them with basic Tai Chi breathing exercises and move them up to serious stuff when their muscles have gone through enough development to not be permanently damaged by the Fu. And then you start wight training around puberty.
You teach them that guns aren't a toy at about 5, and teach them to actually USE the guns at puberty once again.)) 

[The Froggy Ninja]

>Take him hunting to show him the violence of the world.
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".

[Ultimuh]

>Give the kid a monocle and a top-hat.
Gotta raise that dappertude.

[WhitiusOpus]

Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!

Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.

I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:

Spoiler: Sword chucks, yo! (click to show/hide)

Our child shall channel the spirit of the greatest qualities of Black Mage, Red Mage, Fighter, and Thief. From BM he shall take a lust for chaos and death untold. From RM he shall take the ingeniousness to put it into action. From Fighter he shall take the necessary awesomeness to pull off anything along these lines. From Thief he will take the legal expertise to not only get persecuted for his probably countless crimes, but get the victim imprisoned via law ninjas.

+100

[The Froggy Ninja]

Also give him gun-chucks, basically two straight barrel handguns with no grips connected by chains on the back, gun-fu needs to be taught dammit!

Make them unloaded however, giving loaded guns to a baby just isn't right.

I see your gun-chucks and I raise you:

Spoiler: Sword chucks, yo! (click to show/hide)

Our child shall channel the spirit of the greatest qualities of Black Mage, Red Mage, Fighter, and Thief. From BM he shall take a lust for chaos and death untold. From RM he shall take the ingeniousness to put it into action. From Fighter he shall take the necessary awesomeness to pull off anything along these lines. From Thief he will take the legal expertise to not only get persecuted for his probably countless crimes, but get the victim imprisoned via law ninjas.

+100

+101