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[IronTomato]

I just made the biggest military I've had on a fort, on account of the fact that I've never survived a siege, partly due to my terrible luck. A while later, I get a siege.

"OK," I think, "You can do it, guys! "

I then watched as death rained upon each and every soldier, none of which landed a single hit.

HOW. HOW CAN I MAKE A MILITARY THAT ACTUALLY TOUCHES THE ENEMY WITHOUT DANGER ROOMS?

[ShadowHammer]

I just made the biggest military I've had on a fort, on account of the fact that I've never survived a siege, partly due to my terrible luck. A while later, I get a siege.

"OK," I think, "You can do it, guys! "

I then watched as death rained upon each and every soldier, none of which landed a single hit.

HOW. HOW CAN I MAKE A MILITARY THAT ACTUALLY TOUCHES THE ENEMY WITHOUT DANGER ROOMS?

Not a single hit? That's actually an impressive achievement. I have another "really?" moment that goes along with that one:

A long time ago, I had also raised the largest military that I have ever have, to this day. Now this was my third fort ever, and every migrant who had any experience with combat whatsoever was immediately drafted. I had my first ambush, and I send the whole horde out to meet them. Out of a fifty dwarf army, I think I lost thirty-ish. I was all like, REALLY?!?! That was like, 10 goblins! I spent days forging massive stocks of armor and weapons, and you guys lost over half of your lives against an enemy you outnumbered FIVE TO ONE?!?!

Then I looked more closely at the military screen, and realized that I had to shift-enter to assign a uniform to the whole squad.
Out of fifty soldiers, only five of them (the first dwarf in each squad), had any armor or weapons.

[Untelligent]

Two forts in a row, my first artifact resulted in a legendary weaponsmith.

Two forts in a row, the first forgotten beast raid the following year resulted in a dead legendary weaponsmith.

[whatever1works]

Well, about the building a wall on the wrong side, you can just designate a wall, and then on whichever side you dont want the dwarf to be on when its complete, you designate another wall on that side, but then suspend it. Dwarves wont build on suspended construction sites. When its all done you just cancel the suspended wall to be built.

My really moment(s), when i first started playing Df, i didn't install the game properly (i think didn't unpack it to the right place or whatever), so it didn't end up saving any of my forts... i played 3 forts before i realised this...

[Sutremaine]

This is why I use doors.

Doors wouldn't help him. Building destroyer what?

Use the door to control where the dwarf stands.

Sometimes I know that the dwarf is going to stand on the 'wrong' side, because it's the shortest walk from where they picked up the stone. In those cases, I let them haul the material to the building site, then cancel the job and redo it. The building material needs to be on the side of the wall the dwarf needs to end up on, or, if the material is right where the wall is going to be, the dwarf needs to approach the wall from the correct side. This is fiddly, and I'd rather use a material that's already in the right place even if it's further away.

A door would require less management though, since you don't need to watch anything -- before you lock the door it's fully passable, and you only lock it when you order the wall built.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

My most "REALLY!?" moment was when I lost my first fort to wheelbarrows.

[Mentalpatient87]

In my current for I have a lever activated bridge to seal my training arena. For some reason half the time I order the lever to be pulled, a dwarf comes along, yanks the handle, and IMMEDIATELY decides he wants to go gawk the walls inside the arena. So far everyone who does this has beaten the bridge, but somebody is gonna get smashed, and I just hope they're not skilled in anything...

[ond_magiker]

After playing for ~3 years: "Screw-pumps don't need mechanisms? Really?!"